Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-two
Iris was back under the bright lights of Dr. Alsarraj’s exam room at Family Tree Fertility for yet another vaginal ultrasound.
It was her fourth in the process and they still made her incredibly tense.
She distracted herself by mentally redesigning the lighting; if they replaced these compact fluorescent panels in the drop ceiling with adjustable LEDs, maybe she wouldn’t feel like a laboratory specimen.
Her nostrils itched with that hospital-clean smell, lemony antiseptic and saline.
These appointments were the only place she didn’t wear the perfume.
“Hm,” Dr. Alsarraj vocalized as he peered at the ultrasound screen, delicately steering the wand inside her.
The sound was too short to interpret as positive or negative, perhaps he was unaware he had made a noise at all.
But in this office, even an unsaid observation could send Iris’s anxiety spiraling.
“Hmm?” she intoned upward. “Everything okay?”
“Nothing bad, just…” Dr. Alsarraj trailed off, lost in the shifting sonar orbs on the black screen. He moved the wand again, this time at an awkward angle, and Iris let out a little grunt of discomfort—
“Unh.”
“ Sorry.” Dr. Alsarraj grimaced in sympathy but didn’t take his eyes off the screen. “Although increasing tenderness is actually a good sign. It means things are growing.”
Iris nodded and looked at the ceiling.
“All done.” Dr. Alsarraj slipped the wand out and popped off its jellied condom cover with a sticky squick and tossed it into the trash.
Iris snapped her knees shut and sat up, the paper crinkled noisily, only amplifying her self-consciousness.
Dr. Alsarraj didn’t seem to notice his patient’s embarrassment, or he was just used to it. “I’ll let you get dressed, and we’ll meet in my office to discuss.”
—
Normally the routine of going to Dr. Alsarraj’s well-appointed office for the debrief allowed Iris to decompress, but with today’s frowning and hmming, the suspense was killing her. Her knee bounced as she sat on the edge of the wing chair.
Dr. Alsarraj took a seat behind the desk and began, “So, we’re deeper into our cycle.
You have three follicles in each ovary, which is pretty good.
But they’re lagging in size. I’m going to up the progesterone.
You may notice a greater change in your mood and emotionality, you may feel irritable and depressed.
Obviously if the depression is severe, thoughts of self-harm, you need to contact my office immediately.
But that isn’t typical. Have you noticed any of these side effects so far? ”
Iris gave a weary exhale. “I’ve had some more personal drama than I normally would.”
“Yes, husbands and boyfriends hate me.”
How about ex-boyfriends, bosses, and gay best friends? “I’ve noticed I’ve been more impulsive lately. Is that a side effect?”
That hmm again. “Most women find their emotions are more at the surface, so you may be more reactive. But not to worry. Very soon, this will all be over, and you’ll go back to being your normal, agreeable self.”
“I didn’t say ‘disagreeable.’?” Iris didn’t mean to say that thought aloud.
Dr. Alsarraj broke into a smile. “Fair! I speak from my daughters’ experience. And believe me, a know-it-all dad to his twentysomething daughter on hormone therapy? There is always occasion to disagree.”
“She froze her eggs in her twenties?”
“Twenty-five. The sooner, the better.” Dr. Alsarraj must have seen her face fall because he added, “But don’t worry, you’re doing fine.
We’re going to get you in the best possible shape for your trigger shot and oocyte retrieval at the end of next week.
And if we don’t get a sufficient yield, we can always consider another cycle. ”
—
Iris was on her way out when the receptionist, Kathleen, jogged out from the front desk partition to catch up with her. Kathleen spoke in an extra-hushed tone, even for a fertility clinic’s waiting room. “Your credit card was declined for today’s medicine order. Do you have another I could try?”
“Oh, sorry, I um, made some large purchases this week, they probably put it on hold for fraud,” Iris lied.
The way these medical charges racked up, she needed to call Visa and raise the limit.
“I don’t have another, though, and I’m in a bit of a rush, so can you just add it to my tab?
We can get paid up when it’s working again. ”
“Of course! No worries. And you can always pay by check, too.”
“Great idea, thanks.” Iris thanked her and wondered how soon that signing bonus from Wolff’s term sheet would hit her account.
Her phone rang. It was Hannah. She silenced the ringer and quickly exited the office to answer it. She knew something was wrong as soon as she heard Hannah’s tearful tone of voice.
“Iris, can you come over? Something terrible happened!”
Iris’s stomach dropped. “With the baby?”
“No,” Hannah whimpered. “It’s Mike.”