31. The Past Always Catches Up With You
WESLEY
SLAM!
My right fist connected with the bag.
PFFT!
My left fist sent an upper cut to match the first.
It didn’t matter how many times in how many ways I beat the punching bag. Rage was my natural state and had been for years. Visualizing my father’s smug face on the center of the bag always took the edge off, though not enough to fully make the anger go away. I had often wondered if competing in an MMA tournament would finally make the hatred dissipate, but unfortunately, all of my contracts prohibited me from doing anything that might mar my face.
And by contracts I meant the numerous modeling gigs my agent booked. So far I had done ad campaigns for Calvin Klein, Dolce Gabbana, Tom Ford, and Betsey Johnson. If I wanted to venture out, I could have my pick of runway shows to model in, but I found fashion shows tacky. Hell, I found all of it weird, but if someone wanted to pay me $8 million to snap some photos of me in funny clothes, I would be an idiot to pass that up.
Modeling helped me earn my own money, which had more than paid my way through college and paid my father back all the money from my Emory Episode. Now I was on the verge of joining Madden Enterprises as assistant general counsel in our legal department. My bar exam results were still pending, but I felt confident that I passed. Studying came easy for me, thanks to Celeste.
“No, not Celeste!” I muttered under my breath. If I started thinking about her now, my day would be ruined.
“Talking to yourself is a sure sign of madness,” Phillip said, breezing into the room with a tablet in hand and an Airpod clipped to his ear. He had been my official assistant since I started college. It was difficult to manage accelerated classes on top of modeling gigs and the never ending social functions my father required me to attend as his consort. Tabloids loved me because I often had other hot, young models on my arm. The girls liked the exposure. I liked that it gave old Benny boy the impression that I had moved on.
Moving on was impossible, though. Celeste’s ghost had become my shadow, haunting my every waking moment and encompassing all of my dreams at night. She was never going to be someone I got over because soul mates weren’t meant to pass you by. Nothing was ever going to convince my father otherwise, however.
Once, after I started my Bachelor’s program at Princeton, I found Maggie on Facebook and begged her to tell me how Celeste was doing. She read the message, then blocked me, thereby further breaking my heart. If Maggie wasn’t willing to give me the time of day, there was no way Celeste was ready to. They were two peas in a pod, and as much as it killed, I had to accept that I had essentially disappeared right at the moment Celeste needed me most. My final words to her still lived rent free in my head, the guilt often constricting the oxygen in my lungs.
So I did the only thing I could do: I focused on working hard to be a man that would be worthy of her whenever I had the chance to win her back. Double majoring in business and economics at Princeton, I managed to graduate suma cum laude in only three years. Then it was on to law school at Harvard. Combined with the international photo shoots and the charity I anonymously founded for neurological cancer research, life kept me busy enough that I appeared on the outside as a functioning human being.
Inside, I was anything but.
“What’s on the agenda today, Phillip?” I asked with a sigh.
He snorted. By now we had spent enough time together that we could read each other like a book. While I wouldn’t necessarily call him a friend, Phillip had definitely earned my respect with the work and dedication he provided for all aspects of my life. Working myself to death seemed to have improved his impression of me, too.
“You have orientation, followed by a board meeting this afternoon. And I need your answer for the shoot in Rio,” he stated.
I punched the bag again in my frustration. “Jesus Christ, my father owns the fucking company. I’ve been coming to his business meetings since I was barely old enough to walk. I seriously have to attend orientation on my first day?”
He shrugged, which was his habit when he agreed with my assessment but didn’t want to risk badmouthing Madden Enterprises. No matter what, Phillip would always remain loyal to my father.
I gritted my teeth. “Fine. Hold off on Rio. I have no clue what I’ll be doing that far out. Anything else?”
“The nurse called. Shirley passed away early this morning.” Phillip looked grim, no doubt assuming the news would set me off.
My already too small of a heart shrank further. Great Aunt Shirley had been my last link to River’s Run, to what I considered my real life, which was why I paid for a private nurse to care for her the past eight years. My schedule was far too demanding to visit, but I called her on the phone as often as I could. As the years passed, her mind was gone, often confusing me for her dead husband or dead son, but I tried to make her smile as best I could. She took me in when nobody else would, and if not for her generosity, I never would have met Celeste. I owed a lot to her.
Hearing of her death brought up so many mixed feelings and memories…sadness, regret, belonging. She gave me something no one else had ever given me before—a home. I loved her for it. I should’ve made more of an effort to visit. Poor aunt Shirley went to the grave without ever truly knowing how much she meant to me.
“It looks like she’s made you the executor of her estate,” Phillip added.
“Guess today won’t be my first day after all,” I commented.
“Wesley, with all due respect, you can’t seriously be thinking of?—”
“Of what? Putting my first day at my father’s corporation on hold because of a family issue requiring my attention?” I snarled. “Pretty sure they aren’t gonna fire me. Benedict won’t even notice.”
It was true. I hadn’t seen or actually spoken to my father in almost three years due to our conflicting schedules. Well, that and the fact that I actively avoided him at all costs.
My mind was made up. Aunt Shirley deserved more in life than what I had given her, so the least I could do was go down in person to settle her affairs. Maybe I’d even get a chance to say goodbye in some small way.
Phillip’s eyebrows contorted as he grappled with his response.
“Just spit it out,” I ordered. I already knew what he was going to say.
“What about her?” He didn’t need to use her name for me to know who he meant.
Exhilaration and anxiety were currently dancing in my chest. I wanted to see Celeste more than I wanted to take my next breath. Perhaps this was my chance to finally make things right between us. It could be a sign that our timing was finally right.
“Guess it’s a good thing my charming personality is still intact.” I winked at him.
Slowly unwinding the hand wrap from my workout, I turned towards the window, effectively dismissing him. All of downtown Atlanta was visible from the apartment I purchased a few blocks away from my father’s building, but in my mind’s eye, the only thing I could see was a young girl with a wild brown mane of hair and a shy smile.
“I’m coming home to you, lovebug,” I whispered.