Chapter 17
Amelia
Cardiff city centre had been transformed into a Christmas postcard.
Various coloured lights illuminated the church in the centre of town, making it the centrepiece of a Christmas scene, with wooden huts lined up neatly around it.
Pretty moving snowflake shapes were projected onto the large castle walls, and the air was rich with the smell of doughnuts and other traditional Christmas foods.
Amelia stood on the corner of Queen Street and St John’s Street, blowing on her hands and rubbing them together to fight off the cold.
At least it wasn’t raining. It was only early evening, but the dark had drawn in hours ago.
Hundreds of people bustled around, from children carrying candyfloss to students experiencing the magic of the market for the first time, like Amelia.
It was hard to take it all in. Sure, she’d driven past it a few times in the years she’d lived in the city, but she’d never had a reason to visit before.
She usually spent the holidays covering for those who needed them off.
By the time she even thought about going, the market had finished.
Keira walked down Queen Street towards her.
She was smiling, but her hands clutched at the hem of her own coat, and there was a certain bounce in her step that made Amelia think she wasn’t completely comfortable.
She couldn’t blame her; she’d basically blown her off for the last few weeks.
It hadn’t been intentional, but that didn’t really matter.
“Hi.” Amelia grinned once Keira was close enough.
“Hi.” Keira’s return smile lit up her entire face.
“So, where shall we start?” she asked. Keira shrugged.
“We could check out some of the huts? They’re all run by small businesses and local crafts people. You can find some really unique things.”
“Lead the way.”
Why does this feel so awkward.
The pair walked down St John’s Street, past a long row of cosy wooden huts.
Their proprietors stood outside them, or behind tables, or in their next-door neighbour’s hut, chatting and laughing.
Keira pointed out one hut with amazing glass art, each perfectly twinkling and reflecting the surrounding Christmas lights.
The next hut sold tiny sculpted metal figurines of people, horses, elephants, cats, and a multitude of other animals.
A large group of people walked towards them, and Amelia instinctively took Keira’s hand to pull them out of the way.
Keira looked down at their joined hands and back up at Amelia.
Amelia just smiled and ambled on, still enveloping Keira’s hand in hers.
The contact grounded her in that moment.
Pride rooted in her chest. She’d finally found somewhere she belonged.
She didn’t belong at her parents’ house, and she’d lived in the city for years, but she had never really felt like she fit in.
But here, in this moment, with this woman, she felt the tendrils of permanence wrapping around them, joining them together.
They kept holding hands all down one side of the stalls and back up the other, taking their time looking in on the intricate crafts, homemade jams, or the wooden children’s toys beautifully crafted by an older married couple.
By the time they returned to Queen Street, Amelia couldn’t resist the tempting aromas of the food stalls.
“Shall we get something to eat?”
“Sure. Doughnuts, maybe?” Keira gave her a wink. Amelia thought back to their Winter Wonderland trip and how something had sparked between them when she wiped doughnut sugar from Keira’s face. Her cheeks heated, wondering if she’d been so obvious, even then.
They joined the queue of people waiting for Christmas dinner style rolls, hand in hand, still talking.
Their conversation slowed, and Amelia’s gaze lingered on Keira’s.
Her calming presence drowned out the rest of the world without even trying.
She squeezed Keira’s hand and tugged her a little towards her.
Keira’s gaze, already on her eyes, lowered to her lips as she leant down. Amelia held her breath in anticipation.
“Hey, guys!”
As Lucy bounded up to them, Amelia let go of Keira’s hand as if it was red hot, and leapt backwards.
She turned to face Lucy, but not quickly enough to allow the mercy of missing the look of hurt on Keira’s face.
Asha walked up to Lucy’s side and looked between Amelia and Keira. Amelia’s cheeks heated.
Lucy carried something sweet and chocolaty. The smear of chocolate on her face made Amelia laugh.
“What?” Lucy asked.
“You’ve got a little something there,” Amelia said, rubbing her own chin to show Lucy.
“Saving it for later!” Lucy said happily as she wiped it off. “What’re you guys getting?”
“Oh, err…” Amelia turned. Keira’s face had become hard as stone and unreadable. “We’re getting some turkey and stuffing rolls, I think.”
“Ooh, we had the veggie version earlier. It was great. Hey, Keira,” Lucy pushed through the line behind them to get to the other side. Standing next to Keira, she said, “I’ve been meaning to ask, do you think you could get Sonia to sign…”
A gentle touch on her arm distracted Amelia from the rest of their conversation. Asha looked up at her with a commiserating smile on her face.
“Hey, did we interrupt…something?” she asked softly, so the other two wouldn’t hear.
“No,” Amelia said quickly. Keira shifted beside her. Amelia couldn’t tell if she was listening.
“Are you sure?” Asha asked, but before she could answer, Lucy was addressing all of them again.
“We were going to check out the wooden perpetual motion machines they’ve set up in one of the arcades. Do you guys want to come?”
“Lucy, no. We should leave them to it — ” Asha began gallantly.
“Sure, sounds fun,” Amelia found herself saying, immediately sensing the chill from Keira’s gaze on her back. Asha gave Amelia a pointed look before putting her ear defenders back on.
“C’mon, you,” Asha said, pulling Lucy away.
“Meet you guys there!” Lucy shouted while Asha dragged half backwards down the street.
Despite the surrounding bustle, an awkward silence descended. Amelia opened her mouth to speak and closed it again, unable to find the words. Keira, however, did not have that problem.
“I didn’t know you were ashamed to be seen with me,” Keira said, the hurt obvious in her voice.
“I’m not!” Amelia protested, but Keira gave her a look.
“I’m not, I just — I can’t — this is new and —”
“But you told Asha this wasn’t a date.”
Amelia reached out for Keira’s hand, but Keira took a step back and folded her arms.
She didn’t know what to say. They hadn’t explicitly said it was a date, but they’d sure been acting like it was.
“I thought we were both on the same page.” Keira’s voice was sad as she looked down at her feet. Amelia stepped forward and placed her hands on Keira’s, gently teasing apart her folded arms, so she could take her hand.
“We are,” Amelia pleaded. “I like you. I really like you,” she continued, though her chest tightened.
She felt like she was stepping out on a ledge, but she didn’t know if Keira would catch her.
“But this is very new, and you know Lucy would not be able to keep it to herself. I don’t think we need that kind of pressure. ”
Keira still looked at the ground, so Amelia lifted her hands and dusted a gentle kiss on the backs of them. When her gaze came up, Amelia searched her eyes for any sign of the affection from earlier. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Keira gave her a half smile.
“Good.” Amelia leant forwards slowly, checking somewhat for permission before kissing Keira chastely on the lips.
The queue shifted in front of them, and they moved forward with it, lapsing into silence, but still holding hands.
The once comfortable silence was now a little unnerving, but she took comfort in the fact that Keira hadn’t taken her hand away.
Their hands hung between them, a connecting strand of unspoken promises.
Amelia hoped the strand wouldn’t start to fray.
Just when they got to the front of the queue, Amelia’s phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out and scowled.
“You can get that if you need to. I can order our food,” Keira offered.
Amelia glanced at Keira, then looked at her phone again.
She wasn’t sure why her mother was ringing her again, but it was unlikely to be anything good.
She looked at Keira talking jovially with the worker behind the food stand, making them laugh.
Light danced on her face, giving her a radiant appearance.
Amelia rejected her mother’s call and put her phone back in her pocket. She wouldn’t let anything else taint their night.
As the evening wound down, Amelia and Keira joined Asha and Lucy at a nearby pub for a round of drinks before their night ended.
It was early enough the bar wasn’t too rowdy, though Asha kept a hand on her ear defenders as they sat on the table.
The bar was long and narrow, squeezed between two buildings, like it had popped up and expanded, forcing the other two buildings apart.
The floor was slightly sticky, but the solid oak furniture and good music made up for it.
Amelia, sat next to Keira on one side of the booth, was painfully aware of her proximity as well as the questioning looks Asha had been sending her all evening.