Chapter 22
Noah
Idrafted a ton of posts about our time in Kirkmuir on the drive back home.
Some were just regular ‘follow along with my boyfriend and me,’ but I also wanted to get a handful for APEX Predator Clothing, for the hotel, and The Wanking Pony done.
Over the years I had learned that making a million drafts while my brain was in output mode helped me show up consistently even on the days my brain said ‘nope.’ My followers thought I lived online, and I’d never bothered correcting them.
“Thank you for helping me take all these pictures,” I told Lewis after a while. He was the perfect social media winter husband. “You really have an eye for these things.”
He glanced away from the road, pursed his lips and looked back ahead.
“What?”
“I have an eye for you,” he told me in a smug voice and reached over to squeeze my thigh.
I didn’t challenge him on it, just like I hadn’t in Kalon Gardens, and all the other times he’d said these things to me.
People like us together. Yeah, and so do I.
I’d worked with professional photographers—and those who only called themselves that but sucked at it—before. Nobody had ever caught my essence the way Lew did. For an influencer I had conflicting feelings about videos and images of my face, but I genuinely loved the ones he had taken.
Anyone can see how much you like the person behind the camera.
Lewis offered to take me to Lone Fox Distillery straight away, but I guessed Ollie would be off work and running into him wasn’t something I wanted after an entire weekend spent desecrating a hotel bed with his best friend.
“Can we go to the cottage first? I want to check on Mr Pickles.” Perla had sent a picture yesterday, and he’d looked so happy.
“Yeah, of course.” Lew rested his palm on my thigh as he steered his truck off the motorway by the N?kken outside of Kincardie. He kept it there until we parked in front of the cottage.
My orange tabby meowed when I opened the door, wound once around my legs, then Lew’s, and jumped back onto the couch to curl up on my fluffy blanket.
“Alright, I can see I was missed.”
Lewis snorted. “Come here.” He slid his arms around my waist and dipped his muzzle to my neck. “I need something to help me keep my fingers to myself at LFD.” His palms ran up my sides until he cupped my pecs, and I melted into his touch.
“I wish Ollie knew,” he murmured.
“Yeah, I …” I broke off when he sucked a bruise into my skin.
Just out of sight.
“You’re mine, Noah.” Lew accentuated every word with a kiss. “And I am yours.”
I still had no idea how to broach that subject with him.
But how did you tell your brother that you were in love with his best friend?
Ignoring it was my way to deal with it. Ollie didn’t follow my social media, so he resided in the land of blissful oblivion, but eventually, I was sure, he would catch on. We weren’t exactly hiding it. And anyone who spent more than five minutes with us together cottoned on.
I turned in his arms and hugged him around the neck. “I’ll tell him soon, okay? I just need a bit …”
“More time, I understand.” A hint of sadness clouded his eyes even though his mouth smiled.
“I just want to enjoy this a bit longer without him breathing down our necks,” I whispered against his lips. And I’m scared you’ll pick him if he makes you choose.
“It’s okay, Puppy. I love Ollie but he can … yeah.” Lew huffed.
Be an ass when it comes to me? Yup.
“Alright, let’s get you to Lone Fox. I have so much to show you.”
I refilled Mr Pickles’ bowl, checked the litterbox, and said goodbye to the snoring cat.
“See you later, little man,” I crooned, but he just slept on.
Lew held open the car door by the time I got out of the cottage. He waited until I had climbed into the passenger seat, then leaned in to buckle my seatbelt.
It was so absurd, but I loved when he did it. Then Lewis kissed me like it was the last time he ever could. My head still spun by the time he pulled into the long driveway up to the distillery. He had his own parking spot in front of the staff apartments.
“Want to see my place or Mads first?”
“Mads first. And then I can grope you in your flat later.”
Lew’s eyes dipped to my lips as if he wanted to lean in for a kiss. Then he huffed.
“This sucks.”
I privately agreed with him, but even if we told Ollie about our fake relationship on my social media, he wouldn’t understand if we kissed without a camera pointed at us.
I mean, a few weeks into it and even I didn’t fully understand what was going on.
We said things that sounded like both of us prepared to confess our mutual love to each other soon, we had great sex, and …
This “fake” relationship with Lew was the best relationship I’d ever had.
And then there was the flight to Bali that hung over Valentine’s Day like a dark cloud.
No, I’ll worry about that later.
I reached out and squeezed his thigh.
“Let’s go.”
We found Maddie in the staff room where she pored over what looked like the map of the distillery. Her teal hair stuck up like she’d run her hands through it, and she had gorgeous curves she hadn’t had when I’d last seen her, but this was still my old friend.
“Are you sure I’m allowed to go in there?” I asked Lew. “It’s the staff room.”
She looked up at the sound of my voice and jumped up so fast her chair crashed to the floor.
She flung her arms around me as if I’d been missing at sea for years.
“It’s so good to see you,” Maddie sniffed as we hugged.
Tears trickled down my cheeks, but I smiled through them. Over her shoulder, Lew met my eyes and cocked an eyebrow at me.
Told you, Bright, his gaze said.
A big red dog danced around us with its tail wagging.
“It’s so good to see you. Gosh, I’m so sorry I haven’t come over to see you yet. I’ve been so freaking busy.”
“I’ll go check on Perla,” Lew said. He held my eyes for a moment as if he contemplated kissing me but left.
“Do you have time to have a coffee with me?” Maddie asked when we let go of each other. “Or lunch,” she added when she checked her watch. “That damn time blindness.”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” I thought about the invoice from Hamish Grant I still waited for and all the money I’d spent in Kirkmuir. Lew had paid for way more than I was comfortable with, but I’d still spend quite a bit on our trip. I’d just pick the cheapest thing on the menu and a glass of water.
“You need to tell me how you’ve been. And I want to hear everything about Bali and Kirkmuir,” she added after a pregnant pause as she looped her arm around mine.
She knows.
But I really didn’t give a fuck. Mads might have grown up, but I knew her. She’d never say a word to Ollie.
We entered the restaurant a few minutes later. A small crowd was in for an early lunch and Maddie steered me to a table by the window that was out of earshot from the other guests.
“It’s our treat, of course,” she said when we’d taken off our coats and settled in opposite chairs.
“What? Oh, no, it’s—”
“Don’t be daft, Noah,” my old friend shut me down with a snort. “You should have the spare ribs. SweetPea makes his own barbecue sauce, and it’s just so good.”
“If you’re sure it’s okay?”
“No, actually, I’ve changed my mind. I haven’t seen you in fifteen years and just invited you to lunch in our restaurant. Please pay for your food.” She giggled. “Of course it’s okay. I insist.”
“I missed you,” I blurted out and laughed along.
“I missed you, too. How have you been? Oh, that’s Madigan, by the way. Fitz got him for me last year.
“Hey, sweetie.” I patted the dog’s head.
“And here comes Clara. Meet Noah, he’s Ollie’s brother and back for a few months.”
“Nice to meet you.” The dark-haired woman beamed at me. “What can I get you?”
Maddie ordered the Teal Vixen and the spare ribs, and I chose the same.
“When we got together, Fitz had Lew make an alcohol-free beer for me,” she explained.
“Okay, that’s so romantic.” I sighed. “I’m so glad you found each other again. You were always so cute together.”
“Yeah.” Maddie bit her lip and she blushed. “I’m so happy I got the boy in the end.”
For a moment, I saw us a year from now and me being the one who said that about Lewis.
“I’ll be right back, sorry. Bathroom.”
I fled the restaurant and went into the bathroom to pee and wash my hands.
Don’t get a fucking panic attack now, Bright.
I forced a smile on my face when I joined Maddie at the table again. She scrutinised me, and I fully expected her to ask me what had happened.
“How hard was it to go from living in Bali to being back in Scotland?” she asked instead. I raised my glass, toasted her, and took a sip of the alcohol-free beer Clara had brought over before answering.
“It’s been okay. I was working so much I didn’t get to enjoy it a lot, anyway. So it doesn’t really matter where I am, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it.” Maddie smiled at me over her beer.
“And it’s been pretty shit, you know?” I went on.
Somehow I didn’t want to lie to Mads. “Like, I know how it works but my reach went down after my ex-boyfriend and I split up, and it’s been tough.
Lew’s been helping me get new content out.
” I broke off. She followed me. Of course she’d seen the pictures and videos of us.
Maddie tilted her head at me with a knowing smile playing on her lips. “He seems very happy that you’re back.”
Oh. Heat rose in my cheeks and I took another sip of my beer to give myself a moment.
“Yeah, it’s been, uh …”
Maddie’s smile widened and made the rest of my sentence obsolete.
She gets it.
“I don’t know if Lew has mentioned it, but we’re doing beer brewing courses and a Christmas market,” she changed the subject and I loved her for it.
“Oh yeah, he told me about it.” A million years ago when we made that list of fake dates. With how naturally our relationship progressed, I had never even looked at it again.
Fake relationship, the voice in my head reminded me.
Oh please, you know it’s not fake, another voice shut the first down.
Great. Now I’m arguing with myself.
“Soo,” Maddie hedged. “I’ve been wanting to ask you a question, and I know it’s a lot to ask so it’s perfectly okay if you say no, ok? Zero hard feelings, yeah?”
I rested my hand briefly on her forearm and squeezed. “Just tell me, Mads.”
“Right.” She giggled. “I get it, I’m super impatient myself. Would you be up for helping us? I want to swamp our social media and market the shit out of it, but I won’t have time and…” She drew a deep breath. “I know you’ll just get it without me having to explain a million things.”
“Of course, yeah,” I said. “I’d love to.”
“Not for free obviously. Did you just say yes?” Maddie snorted.
“Yeah, I did. I’m sure it’s going to be fun.” I shrugged. And I’d get to be around Lew and all his colleagues. Heck, I’d have an innocent reason to hang out at LFD all day and sneak a kiss or three between pictures and posts.
“Oh my God, Noah, thank you!” Mads got up, dashed around the table, and hugged me. “Can you start on Monday?” she added in mock earnest as she sat back down, and I nodded.
“Sure, why not? I’m free.”
“God, I missed you, Noah.”
Over the next hour, the fantastic spare ribs, a terrific sheep milk cheese platter with honey, and more coffee than I should have after lunch, she filled me in on what she needed, and on everything that was going on at LFD, and I gave her the very vanilla version of Lew’s and my trip to Kirkmuir.
“I’m so excited for Monday,” she said when we hugged goodbye. “If you need anything, you’ll let me know, okay? Oh, one more thing. Ollie said you didn’t have a car.”
“I don’t, I—”
“We have a spare car,” she interrupted. “Fitz’s grandfather isn’t driving anymore, so I’ve been taking his four-wheel-drive most of the time. If you want, you can use my car while you’re here.”
I stared at her. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I am. It’s just standing around in the garage, and I don’t need it.” She hugged me again. “And you could drop by and visit him whenever you like. You know what? I’ll ask our new property manager to have it ready for you by Monday.”
I was still half in shock over how good it felt to be back in a community by the time I climbed into Lew’s truck a couple of minutes later. The sun was about to go down, and he drove us over to the cottage.
When was the last time you were wanted somewhere and loved?
I still didn’t want to stay at Lone Fox with him.
Yeah, spending the night at his apartment doesn’t exactly say ‘just friends,’ does it?
And I needed some time to wrap my head around what had happened. I’d convinced myself that nobody would want me here, and just a few weeks in, I had a hot winter husband and my old friend had offered me a job.
“I can’t stay over,” Lew said when we’d entered the living room. “Fitz and I have an important meeting with a few suppliers early in the morning. I should get some rest before that.” My heart did a somersault when he smirked at me.
We hadn’t got a lot of sleep in Kirkmuir, and my ass was still sore. A bit of respite would do me good.
Lewis urged me back until I plopped down on the couch.
“There’s just one more thing I need to do before I let you sleep, though.”