3. Alana
Alana
Disaster struck my house this morning. I was running late, spilled coffee on one shirt and had to switch to a different blue blouse. Then as I was buttoning my new shirt, I crushed Midge’s favorite box.
The one with the crinkle paper.
My munchkin cat shoots me a judgmental glare. Baby’s taking after her mama. I’m proud and a little scared.
The roads are stupid for a Sunday morning, and I’m in a mood when I walk into the office.
Half the team is already in the meeting, and the rest are either on vacation or staying with Level A and B clients.
Darren looks rougher than normal but better than I expected.
He’s in the middle of talking when I enter the room.
“...been looking for her for a while. He was wondering if we could track down his high school girlfriend.”
“Who?” I ask as I walk toward my chair at the head of the table.
“Grae,” Macie answers. Nausea isn’t the right word for it. Unholy food poisoning while skydiving could be a better explanation.
“That’s going to be a problem,” I choke out. The group stares at me waiting patiently for an explanation, so I blurt out, “Mellisa’s currently a stain on the hallway carpet.” Which is really fucking annoying since everyone else’s blood was easy to remove. Now I’ve got to replace all the floors.
I hated that bitch since middle school, and now I see her brain matter every time I go to use the copy machine.
She was the worst, evil for the sake of it.
She’d post pictures of girls in the locker room while they were changing, and con guys out of abortion money when she wasn’t even pregnant.
I didn’t know it back then, but she was a broken branch off the Four Families family tree.
Can’t let our client know all that, too many questions.
“Tell him she died peacefully in her sleep.” That will end the search and make his sensitive heart happy and at least give him closure.
“No,” Darren says, “Her name wasn’t Mellisa. It was Kelly or Kimberly. I don’t know, I was drunk and everyone was saying goodbye to Lance.”
The knot in my stomach twists even more. I almost wish for the searing pain in my gut instead of whatever I’m feeling now. But Darren is oblivious, adding, “We’ve gotten more done on way less. Think about how many clients write down hot girl with pink or purple shirt at bar.”
Macie types away on her computer and pulls up a document. “This is Grae’s original Person of Interest form and doesn't have anyone with that name.”
Ouch. I didn’t even make the form.
The Person of Interest form is a running list of people that have sensitive information about our clients. We have them fill one out as soon as they sign the contract. Macie clicks her mouse a few more times.
“Wait… so on his handwritten copy, he started to write a name with the letter K but scratched it out.”
Double ouch. He thought of me and then disregarded our relationship completely. It doesn’t sting. It’s more like a serrated knife pulling the flesh off my bones.
“It was a long time ago, but I’ll look into it.” I will not be. I’ll give it a few weeks and come up with some shitty excuse. “Is there anything else?”
Markus takes over and starts naming assignments and major events coming up.
I tune out, trying to forget the rising memories of him.
He wasn’t Grae back when I was with him.
I called him Davin, but I was the only one.
He was a ball of anxiety, kind, sexy as hell, and I thought he loved me.
Then he moved to LA, met Amanda, CJ and Lena, and started his fabulous and famous life.
We had talked about me moving out there, and I had received my acceptance letter to Los Angeles Business School, but plans changed. And I was left on the East Coast. He dressed in tuxes and couture while I was in military fatigues. He smelled like cologne, and I still smell like gun grease
Over the years, it stopped hurting when I thought about him.
He’s better off without me, life has proven that.
But I can’t seem to escape. From the outside, I’m sure it appears I can’t let it go.
I’m notoriously petty and vengeful, but that’s not what this is.
Things keep happening, and I end up in his orbit.
It’s very fucking annoying, and I hate the optics.
He’s the constant reminder of what my life could have been but wasn’t. And since we broke up, no one has come half as close to making me feel as loved and seen as I was with him. But that was all a teenage dream, right? Nothing real like the cold hard reality of an adult relationship.
Still if I ever had the chance, I did have a few questions I’d like to ask. Things I seem to be able to arrange for other people, I can’t do for me. Every time I get close to even considering a new partner, the truth is, he isn’t Davin. And I wasn’t enough for him.
This is way too depressing. When I walk off the path of memory lane, the group is staring at me. Wait, did I miss something? Um… Should I agree with whatever was just said? Markus looks at me, “Is the meeting adjourned?”
“Yep.” Thanks for the save. He gives me a concerned side eye, but keeps his mouth shut. Good man.
The room clears out, and I walk to my office with Macie trailing behind. “Dr. Cooper called again. She said you bailed on your last three appointments.”
“And I’m going to bail on the next one too.” I’m dealing with the pain. I don’t need a doctor lecturing me and making me feel worse.
I push my door open, and in the reflection of the window, I can see Macie’s disapproving glare. “She’s not going to tell me any good news and it’s literally not going to change anything, so why make myself depressed?”
I push the blackout button on my windows and flip over the white board to view my plans.
This and my spreadsheet would make people break out into hives.
But I need it to keep my brain organized with all the loose threads I’ve got.
The people I need to keep from becoming collateral damage, projects that still need managing, major events, revenge plots and, oh yeah, getting the next two generations of the Four Families safely out of the criminal world. Cool. Easy peasy.
Macie holds her laptop to her chest and rocks back and forth. “You know, you’ve built a huge network of allies. I’m sure if you asked they would help you.” Ask for help? Is she insane? Maybe she’s still drunk.
“Macie, I love you like a little sister. But I swear to Odin if you ever say something that fucking stupid again, I’ll fire you and ruin your life for the next fifty years. Understand?” She grunts, closing the door behind her.
I check my emails, and there’s one from my lawyer.
He’s sending in paperwork to make an offer to a personal protection agency on the West Coast. Mastodon is finally profitable, and with new clients, it only makes sense to expand.
The old guards are retiring and are looking for their golden parachutes.
After spending a lifetime insulating the wealthy, it’s time for them to get a piece of the action.
This is a low offer, and I fully expect to pay double when everything is said and done.
But I wanted to get the ball rolling while life was quietish.
My cellphone rings and I almost knock over my emotional support water bottle reaching for it. Ian’s face fills the screen. “Aunt Alana!”
“Hey buddy.”
“This place is amazing!” He moves the camera around so I can see the kids in mouse ears all waving. Ian and Nonna have matching First Visit pins, and Lance and Izzy have Bride and Groom pins. Everyone is in a blissful state of exhaustion. Except Andrey, who seems miserable. Hehehehe.
“Thank you so much!” Ian yells.
“Look, there’s the sword!” Behind the kids, Donny in his typical basketball jersey attire jumps and says, “You can only pull it out of the stone if you’re pure of heart!
” He pushes Drew out of the way and runs out of the frame.
Yeah, I have to get him out of the crime world. He’s never going to make it.
The phone is pulled out of Ian’s hand and his father has it. “What the hell Alana? You picked today to send us here? You know tonight’s The Knights of the Night Fanfest. Now we’re going to miss it because of some stupid fireworks.”
Shit, I did forget all about that.
“It’s only the series recap, interviews and behind the scenes…” It sounds glorious. “You can watch it tomorrow or even when you get back to the hotel room.”
Dimitri sighs. “Fine. Whatever.” He pauses and gives me a side grin, “But thank you for this. Everyone is having a blast. We miss you.”
“Have fun,” I say, with regret for missing it. But I don’t know how long I’ll be connected with the Four Families, and these memories should be for them.
Once I hang up, I reach for the Sunshine Black 2.
3 pen and give it a quick click. I jot down a few notes on the safety report left over from Friday.
Damn the ink is so smooth, best purchase I’ve ever made.
The room is quiet for a few minutes, and I’m able to get some work done until Macie comes back into my office.
“Hey, Hadeon Olympian is on line one.”
“Good afternoon, King.” Red flag number one, he only calls me King when he needs something. “How are you feeling today?” Second red flag. Hadeon is generally a good guy and does care about my well-being, but he never flat out asks. He needs me for a favor.
“I’m fine. Are you flying down to Orlando today?”
“Yes, Penny and Olivia are flying down tonight. I’m not sure how Olivia is going to handle the crowds, we might buy out the parks at night instead.” Every once in a while, he says things that remind me about the vast fortune he has.
“Yes, of course buying out the park seems like a completely reasonable expectation,” I state flatly.
“Shh… I don’t spoil Olivia all that much.” No, he doesn’t. She doesn’t have a pony or a lion on a gold leash or anything. Her head band only has three diamonds instead of being completely encrusted. Totally normal stuff.
“I’m assuming you didn’t call to check in on me.” Let’s get back on track here.
“No, I need a favor.”
“Of course you do.”
“All Penny wants for her birthday is the pilot script for The Knights of the Night, signed by the cast.”
“Cool. Buy it for her, you’ve got the money.”
“I’m getting to that. There’s a charity auction tonight at the Black Diamond hotel.”
Oh no. I don’t need to see where this is going. “You want me to be social two nights in a row?” I snap. He has assistants for this stuff.
“It’s for Penny.”
Ugh. Penny’s had my back for over a decade now. She’s been a mentor and a friend. But I still whine, “Two nights in a row?”
“You can buy yourself a birthday/Christmas gift, and you’ll be playing with Olympian money.” There’s a little lilt in his voice, and I can imagine him wiggling his eyebrows like he’s trying to convince me of something we both know is already going to happen. Oh okay, now we’re talking.
“What’s my budget?” The script shouldn’t cost any more than ten thousand, even with the charity event markup.
“Do your best to keep it under a million.” Jesus, Zeus, Odin and Loki.
“Do you have a concept of what anything costs?”
“Is that not enough?” There’s genuine concern in his voice.
“Yeah, that’s enough, but I’m getting myself a really nice gift.”
“I would expect nothing less.” He hangs up the phone without a goodbye, but on my personal phone seconds later he texts, “Thanks. You’re the best! Love ya.” Above his text message is a notification from Mom.
Mom: Dad is in an epic battle with the squirrels again… furry bastards are winning.
Me: They normally do.
Three dots appear.
Mom: How was the wedding? How are you holding up?
I sent her a few group pictures I had taken yesterday.
Me: The wedding was beautiful and I’m fine.
Mom: You should do something nice for yourself, you deserve it.
Mom: Did you drink any water today?”
I take a picture of my emotional support water bottle.
Mom: Yeah, but did you DRINK any of it today or has it been sitting on your desk all weekend.
Me: I don’t think I like this attitude.
In the long list of emotional gut punches this morning, add to it my mom calling me out on my shitty drinking habits. And her messages spring the other gut punch to mind.
The Four Families are not my real family, and it’s time for me to remember that.
Hell, despite the fact that the most powerful man in the world just sent me a ‘Love ya’ text, I’m not a part of his family either.
I only talk to my real family through text messages and memes. I haven’t heard their voices in months.
So to recap, my hydration habits are shit, my cat is pissed at me, my ex-boyfriend didn’t care enough to even list me on his persons of interest form, and now I have to spend the evening with a bunch of elites in uncomfortable shoes and making small talk two nights in a row.
Yes, I am very aware of how fucked up my life is right now.