Chapter 35 #2
Now there wasn’t any room for the choices she wanted to make, something she felt deep in her bones.
There was no room for Gabby in her own life, and it was her own damn fault.
All of it was her own fault. A million choices she had made without thinking, and here she was. She had no room left to choose Markus.
And how long was this godforsaken sound bath going to last?
She tried to discreetly wipe her eyes with her dress. When she glanced up to see if anyone had noticed, Jasmine was watching.
“Look up when you’re ready,” Jasmine intoned in the voice she reserved for yoga classes and meditation.
Jasmine must have realized presence wasn’t an achievable goal for this group.
She said, “Now that we have clear minds and open hearts, I would like to go around the circle. Each member, please share a piece of wisdom. Let’s start with Lana. ”
With a disinterested expression, Lana said, “I think you should drink nothing but water and fresh juice before tomorrow. That wedding dress is a little tight.”
Jasmine nodded. “Practical advice is always welcome.” She turned to her lover. In a softer voice, she said, “Naomi, your turn. What advice do you have about marriage?”
Looking straight into Jasmine’s eyes, Naomi said, “Pass. I’m not in a place to give relationship advice.”
Justin had had enough. “Does anyone else want to crash the bachelor party?”
Lana stood up like she’d been ejected from her Japanese floor pillow. “Yes, please. I think they have liquor.”
“And music, I hope.”
Even Naomi was on board. “I’m starving, Jasmine. Do they have food?”
Like a gang of twenty-somethings club-hopping, Gabby’s bachelorette party of middle-aged and better women piled out of the ceremonial hut and went in search of the men to see if they had anything better going on. It wouldn’t be hard.
Despite the circumstances, the spirit of the moment was infectious. Just a bunch of girls off to look for some cocktails and hot guys.
“Jasmine, you need better lights,” Lana complained about the poorly lit path after stumbling over some uneven terrain.
“We didn’t want to impede anyone’s view of the stars.”
Justin laughed. “Which they’ll be able to see great after they land flat on their ass.”
“I heard that!” Jasmine giggled and said, “But fair point.”
“There they are!” The bachelor party was on the yacht, its reflection glimmering on the water like a Monet. The boat was anchored within sight of shore.
Jasmine pointed to a dinghy for them to take to the yacht. “Shall I call for a driver?”
“Jasmine, no!” Naomi said. “We can drive ourselves.”
The entire bachelorette party piled into a smaller boat. Naomi started the motor, and it roared to life and burbled. “Everyone ready?”
“One second.” Justin finished securing himself in a life jacket and passed one to Gabby. He mouthed, “These women are unhinged.”
Naomi took no offense. While the rest of the women found seats, she expertly untied the small boat and steered their course through the inky black waters.
Like an actual pirate, she hooked the smaller boat to the yacht.
Naomi had definitely driven a boat before.
Paddleboarding, boating—the woman was competent.
“Prepare to be boarded!” Justin yelled. “Did you hear that, Gia?” He whispered. “I might use that again later.”
Gabby laughed. She didn’t really want to be crashing a bachelor party. If she were on good terms with Valentina, she would have already evacuated Naomi and Jasmine for their statements to be taken. Instead, she was driving around the bay in the dark looking for liquor.
To be a good spy, you had to go along for the ride, though.
You don’t control the action, you are just there to observe, Gabby reminded herself.
This was the job. Going along for the ride was her specialty.
She’d been going along for the ride, wondering what the hell she’d agreed to, for most of her life.
Genesis leaned over the edge of the yacht. “Ahoy there. Be thou friend or foe?”
That was a good question. Most likely the latter.
“Oh, we’re friendly,” Justin said in a heavily flirtatious voice.
Genesis lowered a ladder. “Welcome, friends. It’s good to be Together.”
Gabby had never felt more like a spy than climbing a twenty-foot rope ladder to board a luxury yacht in the middle of the night, even though the main suspect was helping her up. All her senses were on high alert.
After she huffed and puffed her way up the side of the boat, Markus gave her a hand onto the deck, where she found the guys hanging out. Most of them had fishing poles. As soon as her feet hit the deck, Markus took her elbow and steered her to the far edge of the boat for a quick catch-up.
Someone hooted when they noticed Gabby and Markus walking off for a private moment and started chanting, “Kiss, Kiss, Kiss.”
Markus gave a good-natured laugh. “That’s for the reception.”
They were met with a “Kiss, Kiss, Kiss.”
The last time they’d seen each other, they’d argued on the shore and broken up officially, but they had to play the part. Gabby attempted to disassociate as he leaned in. His lips brushed hers lightly, and he whispered, “Sorry.”
Sorry for breaking up, or sorry for kissing her after, or sorry for breaking her trust? Spy work was not easy on a relationship.
After the kiss that wasn’t sexy enough to satisfy the partygoers, they stayed in the embrace. Gabby leaned her head on his chest for comfort. Everyone lost interest, and they continued to the other side of the boat.
“So how’s the bachelorette party?” Markus asked.
Gabby looked across the glittering bay. “Have you seen the Festivus episode of Seinfeld? Instead of Christmas, George’s family has an airing of their grievances around a steel pole?”
He laughed. “I take it that’s why you’re here.”
She nodded. “How was the bachelor party?”
“As good as deep-sea fishing with your ex-husband and a megalomaniac cult leader can be. It’s a catch-your-own-dinner situation, but no one has caught anything yet. I think Justin’s hubby, Hugh, might be taking notes to write an academic paper on the experience.”
Despite herself, she smiled. The whole week was unhinged.
“I don’t think Inner-G really knows how to throw a wedding.”
“No shit. This is a terrible wedding so far.”
After their non-updates, Gabby felt better. At least she and Markus were in it together, even if they were not together-together. They walked over to the group. Phil had gone below deck and come back with the liquor.
“Someone had to do it,” he said. “Who wants a J?gerbomb?”
There was loud agreement.
Meanwhile, he hooked up his phone to the boat’s speaker system. “Fuck the fish, we need some tunes.”
He was going to get them kicked off the resort with this dumb idea. It was the most frat-boy thing she’d ever seen. Gabby leaned in and apologized to Jasmine and Genesis. “I’m sorry. I think he’s having some feelings about me getting remarried.”
Genesis nodded. “Poor guy,” and said, “Sure, Phil. I’ll take a J?gerbomb.”
Just then, the sound came on. Gabby face-palmed when she realized what he was playing. It was Andy Samberg and T-Pain singing, “I’m on a boat, motherfucker.”
Gabby started coughing. She had to admit it was a good one, a lot of posturing about owning a boat. How could she not have seen this coming? Phil loved this song, and he was on a boat. She watched through her fingers for everything to fall apart, but it seemed to be a relief for everyone.
Lana was twerking. Jasmine had tossed the ceremonial robes aside to reveal some club wear. Genesis was raising the roof. The song might as well have been written for him. It was a lot of “I’m on a boat! Look at me!”
With the energy whipped up to a frenzy, Lana yelled, “I’m on a boat, bitch!”
Hugh looked a little disconcerted, but Phil threw his arm around the history prof’s shoulders and chanted, “I’m on a boat with my boys.”
When the song ended, it was like they’d really gone through something together. The group had started as one thing (snobby and buttoned-up) and had moved to another (drunk and disorderly).
The next song came on, which was some grinding on the dance floor number from their college days.
Phil went up to Naomi—lol, good luck Phil—and started doing a little middle-aged footwork, an invitation for her to join in.
Unfortunately for Naomi, and for everyone, Phil’s only dance move was thrusting with a pretend lasso. Gabby had never taken him out before.
As a pickup line, he said, “Her name’s Naomi. That’s ‘I moan’ backwards.”
Naomi’s eyes went big, and she glanced at Jasmine. While some wordless exchange of information passed between the two women, Phil started explaining the quote. “It’s from Van Wilder. You know, the movie?”
“No, I haven’t seen that.” Naomi collected herself and schooled her expression into a benign smile.
Phil raised his glass with one hand and started the lasso with the other. “Sorry, but consider it a compliment.”
Gabby and Markus exchanged a look, clearly both having a lightbulb moment: Naomi was iMoan backwards.
That couldn’t be a coincidence. Had they just found the person behind iMoan?
Gabby recalled details: an illicit business sheltered by Icelandic privacy laws, housed out of a building with a penis museum and an H&M.
Naomi had worked as a TV reporter. It wasn’t inconceivable that she would start an illicit business to sell secret stories. The name seemed more like Phil’s style, but it’s not like she knew Naomi well.
No matter what, Gabby wasn’t going to figure it out on the deck of a yacht while Sir Mix-a-lot was playing. It was going to be embarrassing for Gabby if it turned out Naomi was behind it all.
She looked at Markus to ask about leaving right as Sir Mix-a-lot rapped, “I like big butts, and I cannot lie.” Markus looked away in a “Who? Not me, nothing to see here” way.
He was lying. From personal experience, she knew he liked big butts. Hopefully, that’s all he was lying about right now because they had a mission to finish, and she needed him.
“Markus, it’s time to go.”
Before Gabby and Markus made it back to the cottage, she was hit by a lightning bolt of worry.
When she’d been standing outside G and Jasmine’s place, her mom had been there, trying to get her attention.
Gabby had dismissed her so quickly, so cavalierly.
She’d forgotten to worry about her mother’s safety.
Elena was a civilian in the middle of an EOD operation.
She was at risk and Gabby’s responsibility.
Worry chased all the exhaustion away.
“Markus, can we take a quick detour? I want to check on my mom and Sheridan.”
“Of course,” he said. “Are you worried?”
“My mom was trying to flag me down on the way to paddleboarding with Naomi, but I blew her off. I assumed she was just going to say something shitty, but what if she wasn’t?”
Gabby picked up her pace.
“I’m sure it’s fine.”
Gabby wasn’t so sure. Like Markus had pointed out, Gabby’d been running around the resort in a frenzy of last-ditch espionage work. Jasmine had told her that G could be dangerous, and Sheridan had already survived one break-in/attempt on her life.
On the way through the main lobby, Aspen called out, “Gia, your mom left a note for you at the front desk.”
Okay, this was weird. Gabby hurried over to the desk and tore into the envelope that Aspen handed her.
“Are you two excited? It’s almost the big day!”
Gabby smiled. “We can’t wait!”
The note read: “Don’t worry. Changed rooms. Sheridan had a premonition. If you really need me, Jasmine can help.”
Gabby smiled at Aspen. “Thanks!” She turned to Markus and said, “On second thought, let’s let my mom rest. We should get some sleep.”