Chapter 38
A sunny afternoon, time to get fake married, the G-Spot
Gabby walked out to the dock in her Huntress Couture wedding dress, her train wadded up in her arms, and a pair of Crocs on her feet.
The two attendants to help with the train had never arrived.
It was so bulky that corners kept escaping and hitting the ground, dragging in the dirt in a way that would definitely bother Lana.
It was like carrying a full load of laundry with no basket, trailing socks through the house.
If anyone had a career in espionage ahead of her, it was Kyle.
Here she was about to get married with her AirTag still stuck to her shoe.
She’d added a few other non-Lana-approved items to the outfit during her thirty seconds alone.
Instead of the traditional garter belt, Gabby had strapped her engagement taser to one thigh and a knife to the other.
Naomi, who was making a simple sheath dress look like a million bucks, fell into step beside her. It was the first time Gabby had seen her alone since the paddleboarding disaster.
With a smirk, Naomi said, “Nice Crocs. You know Lana is going to absolutely lose her shit. I don’t think that’s how she normally styles her gowns.”
“I’ve got bigger problems than Lana,” Gabby said.
“You say that now.” Naomi slowed her pace. “I know it’s not a good time, but I have something for you.”
Gabby’s skin prickled with anticipation.
After yesterday’s paddleboard fail, she hadn’t been sure that Naomi would take her deal, let alone spill secrets.
Not to mention, iMoan was clearly Naomi’s thing.
“I moan is Naomi spelled backwards” couldn’t be a coincidence.
Yet another thing she’d put a pin in to deal with later.
Gabby had A LOT of things to come back to later.
“I have time,” Gabby said. “The wedding can’t start without me, right?”
“Guess not.”
“But just so you know, I don’t have the immunity agreement settled yet.” If Naomi gave her evidence and got locked up anyway because Gabby hadn’t done the proper groundwork, she would feel even more like trash than she already did.
Naomi waved her off. “I’m gonna do the right thing, and I trust you to do the same.”
“You realize I’m the government,” Gabby said.
Naomi gave her an up-and-down. “You’re not selling that right now. But I made up my mind. I’m going to email you a file.”
Which email address should she give Lana?
She couldn’t remember the password for the Gia Glanville one.
She wasn’t supposed to be working, so she shouldn’t use her EOD address.
Valentina would see evidence coming in from Inner-G if she looked.
Luckily, she still maintained the bake sale account for Queen Palm Elementary and Middle School. “C-O-O-K-I-E M-O-M at ,” she said.
Naomi raised an eyebrow. “See, you’re barely the government.”
“That’s what my boss said too. It’s a problem.” They turned a corner, and the yacht came into view. The G-Spot was scrawled in fancy lettering across the side. And to think that she’d never thought it was a real place.
“Open the email as soon as you can,” Naomi said. “It’ll explain everything.”
“Everything?” This had to be one hell of an email.
“Don’t tell anyone you got it from me.”
Gabby nodded solemnly. “Deal.
“One more thing. I have a question for you.” Gabby stopped walking with the boat in sight, but far enough for privacy.
She gave Naomi her best Mom look, the kind of look that would force Lucas into an immediate confession that he was the one who had spilled a gallon of paint on the driveway and then tried to clean it up with all the new monogrammed bathroom towels. Kids.
Naomi squared off. “What now?”
“IMoan, please explain.”
Naomi shrugged. “Oh, that. I’ve been selling stories here and there. Nothing that really hurts anyone. It’s a side hustle.”
“That’s it? Is Jasmine in on it?”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing compared to what I just sent you. If you don’t look past my little side hustle, you’d be crazy.”
Gabby smiled. “If you want to be TMZ, just start a TikTok or something. People get paid for that, right?”
“Who says I’m not on TikTok?”
Gabby accepted Naomi’s statement. It had the ring of truth, which she couldn’t say for everything she’d heard this week.
They started toward the boat again, and a corner of the train drooped into the path.
“Let me help you onto the boat with that dress.” Naomi picked up the sagging fabric.
“I’m not interested in having to rescue you after you trip off the dock in that thing.
It might as well be a concrete block as a couture gown if you fall in the water. ”
The water sparkled, and the boat gleamed in the afternoon sun. The yacht was decked out in its wedding finery. The railings were strung with flower garlands and fairy lights. A violin was playing… “Is that the theme from Power Couple?”
Naomi nodded. “It’s classic John Williams. Kinda sounds like the Jurassic Park soundtrack, doesn’t it?”
It did.
Naomi followed her up the gangplank while the quartet played from the part of the movie where G had moved into the redwood forest to start training for the coming apocalypse. It wasn’t exactly Pachelbel’s Canon in D.
Inside, most of the guests were congregated in the luxury dining room with a carved antique bar and chandeliers.
Gabby’s breath caught in her throat at the sight of Markus dressed for their wedding.
It was really hard to remember they had been fighting just a few hours earlier.
But really, what wedding couple hadn’t been fighting just a few hours before the ceremony?
Markus must have felt her eyes on him and turned. The look on his face when he saw her in the dress sent her spirit twirling, while her feet were planted to the floor in complete paralysis. She tripped, and Naomi scolded her. “You remember how to walk, right?”
From the way Markus was looking at her, it was obvious that he thought she was beautiful. It wasn’t an expression of casual admiration. His eyes were shining, and his smile was so big that it took over his whole face. He was smiling like he forgot they were on a mission.
In this moment, in a wedding dress and tux, nothing felt like pretend. She forgot he’d broken up with her yesterday and that they were spies currently trying to salvage their careers. This was better than any wedding she’d ever seen on TV.
Genesis broke the spell. He appeared dressed in a flowing open robe over a golden Speedo. On his head, a turban. If anything could distract from the splendor of the yacht and wedding decorations, it was him.
She and Markus exchanged a glance of shared amusement. They might be broken up, but there was no one she’d rather enjoy this moment with.
All the players were present. Phil was downing a cocktail and wearing an expression of resignation. The OG members of Inner-G were looking snobby and strangely not hungover—all those G-shots maybe. Gabby preferred them after a J?gerbomb.
Phil gestured to the string quartet. “A string quartet on a boat—it’s a little Titanic, huh? Remember when we saw that together? ‘I love you, Jack.’” His eyes shone with tears as if he were the one sinking into the ocean.
“Phil.” Gabby shook her head. How many times did she have to remind him that he had left her? It was too late to pretend he was Jack.
Before any official wedding stuff started, she had to sneak away with Markus for long enough to check Cookiemom@. She grabbed his hand and led him toward a room with a door. “We have to talk.”
“Gabby, I’m sorry,” he started to say.
“Ooh, hold that thought. We have some EOD business to attend to.”
She dragged Markus into what turned out to be a utility closet. Her giant train barely fit. It took up more space than the two of them. As soon as he managed to shut the door without the train jamming it up, Gabby asked, “Do you have a phone?”
He pushed the train out of the way to get to his pockets.
“Can I see it? I need to check my email. Naomi said she sent something that will explain everything.”
Before Gabby pulled up her email, someone knocked. “Hey, guys, it’s your wedding.”
“One sec!” Gabby called.
She typed in her password three times before she pulled up the account. Sure enough, there was an email from Naomi. No subject line. No writing. Just an attachment. It was an article. Chills raced up Gabby’s spine at the author’s name: Amanda Duvall.
It really was all circling back to Amanda.
The headline: Could a Hollywood Cult Spark an International Incident?
A few years ago, Genesis Love was the top-billed action star in the world. After one epic box office flop, he disappeared. The flop, though, wasn’t a regular flop. Power Couple became an instant cult classic. The movie’s biggest fan: Genesis himself.
Strains of the Power Couple overture filtered into the closet, an ominous soundtrack to the moment.
Like he does with everything, he took it to another level. Genesis turned his cult classic movie into a literal cult, Inner-G.
After ten years of mismanagement and bad decisions, Inner-G’s financial decisions are set to ricochet across the globe. Among the weirdest of Genesis’s problems, he’s taken millions upon millions of dollars from Power Couple’s second biggest fan, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un.
According to a source from Inner-G, Jasmine Love has been spending all the money on luxury goods instead of its designated purpose: filming a sequel to Power Couple.
This isn’t a joke. North Korea might not have a lot of power on the world stage, but it will not take this lying down.
If Genesis doesn’t make good on his promise to deliver a movie that Kim Jong-Un has paid for, he risks assassination.
North Korea will undoubtedly take ownership of the luxury goods that its money paid for or, perhaps, even the resort itself. There will be fallout.
Someone pounded on the door again. Gabby blinked at the article.
She knew most of it, but the North Korea bit was—maybe she should have guessed, but it was just so weird.
The president’s psychic was the most down-to-earth person at this resort, and North Korea was footing Inner-G’s bill. Gabby was living in the upside-down.
It doesn’t end here. Inner-G’s line of luxury skincare, Inner Beauty, makes all the usual claims: vegan, cruelty-free, no parabens. In actuality, the line is using cheap, non-medical grade products and selling them at a luxury price point.
The cherry on top: visitors to Inner-G should not expect privacy. The Loves will sell your secrets to the tabloids, as more than one pop star has found out.
Genesis has done everything short of murder to pay for his luxury resort, private jet, and most recently, a world-class yacht.
Markus whistled. “Amanda was about to take Inner-G down. This would have led to a federal investigation, charges, the whole works. They would have lost the resort and maybe ended up in prison if the charges stuck.”
Gabby said, “And the unnamed source—that’s gotta be Naomi.” When Gabby thought about it, Jasmine was the only one mentioning running away together.
Someone pounded on the door again. “Hey, it’s your wedding, not spin the bottle.”
Markus said, “We can’t do anything till Valentina gets here.”
Gabby nodded in confirmation. “Guess we’re getting married.”
In a loud voice, Genesis said, “Enjoy the appetizers and music. Keep your eyes out for whales. The ceremony will start when we get out to sea.”