Chapter 24
CECILIA
Dialing a phone number shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is. I stare down at the crumpled piece of paper Julio gave me with Allie’s phone number, trying to decide whether or not to call.
I don’t want a new therapist or any therapist, really. But I need to talk to someone. I think when it all happened, I spent so much time and energy trying to keep myself together that I compartmentalized to the extreme. And when that failed, I shut down. Let myself go numb.
I’m not numb anymore, and though it hurts, I want to feel things. Experience the full range of my emotions. This girl, Allie, she’s been through what I have. She’d get it.
Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I punch in her number.
Taking a deep breath, I hit dial and bring the phone to my ear.
It rings once and I panic. I end the call.
Come on, Cecilia. You can do this. It’s just a phone call.
You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to.
She doesn’t know. There is no way for it to get back to Austin.
I shake out my wrists and roll my neck back and forth. “Okay.” Another deep breath. “You can do it.”
I punch the number in again and hit send, but this time, before I have the chance to bring it to my ear, a flash of movement catches my attention and I turn in time to see Austin barreling toward me. Shit.
I hang up the phone and look around. I’m outside of the Aquatics building.
There are people strolling down the pathways between buildings.
I’m not alone. I repeat the last part again in my head.
I’m not alone. Austin can’t hurt me here.
He can yell at me and bully me, but he can’t hurt me like he did before.
“Are you stupid?” he snarls as soon as he’s close.
I hunch my shoulders, making myself smaller, and wrap my arms around my waist. “Leave me alone, Austin.” I step around him, but he mirrors my movements, blocking my escape.
“We had a deal.” He shoves me back and I stumble into the building, my head smacking into the stone wall. Ow! My vision blurs and I blink hard to clear it. “I told you to keep your mouth shut. What the hell is wrong with you? It’s like you have a fucking death wish.”
I finger my scalp, wincing when I reach the crown of my head. Drawing my hand away, I look down to find blood coating my fingertips.
“You hurt me?” I can’t take my eyes off the blood. He… my breath seesaws in and out. He hurt me. Here. Out in the open where anyone could see. He just shoved me, like he didn’t even care. My hands shake.
“What did you say to him?”
I look up, meeting his furious gaze. If looks could kill, I’d be dead right now.
“What—“ I shake my head to clear some of the fog. “What are you talking about?”
He crowds me, forcing me to press into the wall. Grabbing my chin, he squeezes until tears spring into my eyes. “Herrera and his friends are asking a lot of people a lot of fucking questions. So I’ll ask one more time. What. Did. You. Say?”
“Nothing. I didn’t tell him anything.”
Shit. What did Gabriel do? He hasn’t asked me any questions recently. Not anything serious. I assumed it meant he’d dropped it. I was wrong.
Tugging at Austin’s grip, I try and fail to get him to release me. “You’re hurting me,” I tell him, as if it weren’t obvious.
“I’m going to fucking destroy you,” he threatens. “Last warning, Cece. Get your boy in line or it’ll be your ass facing the consequences.”
His hold loosens enough that I can tear myself away.
“And your family’s.” With that last threat hanging between us, he stalks away, leaving me reeling.
As soon as he’s gone from sight, I drop to my knees and brace my hands on the ground.
Shit. My breaths are ragged, invisible hands squeezing the air from my lungs.
Tears fill my eyes and I’m powerless to keep them from falling as the reality of my situation crashes over me.
I can’t escape him. Austin always wins. He can do whatever he wants whenever he wants.
I can’t live like this.
Someone shouts my name across the clearing and I look up to see Gabriel flat out running toward me.
“What happened?”
I shake my head, pushing his hands away when he tries to help me up. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I pull myself together.
He lifts my face to the sky, turning it side to side. I can’t even look at him. If I do, I’ll give in to the need to fall apart. To take the comfort I know he would offer.
“Where does it hurt?”
I point to my head. Words are beyond me right now. Taking the cue, Gabriel gingerly tilts my head down, his fingers probing along my skull. I wince when he hits a tender spot and he curses. “I’m going to probe a little more. I just want to make sure you don’t need stitches. Is that okay?”
I nod, clenching my teeth when the motion sends a spear of pain into my skull. Breathing through my mouth, I hold still as Gabriel presses his fingers along the wound.
A hiss slips through my teeth, and Gabriel’s hands fall away. “I don’t think you need stitches.” That’s a relief. “But we should get you—“
“No.” I don’t want to go to the clinic or see a doctor. I just want to get the hell out of here.
“Cecilia?”
“I’m fine,” I tell him, but the look on his face says he’s not convinced.
Gabriel helps me up, his hands steadying me when I sway on my feet, but he says nothing else.
He doesn’t pry. Taking my bag from my arm, he slings it over his shoulder and leads me to the parking lot with a hand on the small of my back.
A few people stop and stare, wondering why I’m such a mess.
Gabriel fishes my keys out of my bag and, opening the passenger side door of my Jeep, helps me inside.
He stands in the open doorway, his eyes locked on me, and a storm of emotion burns inside his gaze. Reaching out, he tucks my hair behind my ear, presses his lips to my temple, and pulls the seat belt from beside me, reaching across my lap to secure the latch.
“Can I take you home?”
Swallowing hard, I nod.
“My home?”
Oh. “Okay.”
Satisfied, he closes my door and jogs to the other side. He keeps a mask on his face and doesn’t say any of the things I know are running through his mind.
Halfway there, his phone rings. Digging it from his pocket, he accepts the call, pressing his phone to his ear.
I can only make out bits and pieces of the conversation.
He keeps his answers short, but it’s clear he’s talking about me when he says things like, “She’s okay. ” and, “I’m taking her home.”
I try to muster up my frustration. Maybe even annoyance. But in the end, all I feel is tired and dejected. Hanging up, he squeezes my hand across the center console and offers me a careful smile.
“You still good? Vision blurry? Are you in pain?”
“I’m okay,” I tell him, leaving out that my vision is fuzzy around the edges and there is definitely some pain. No point in making him worry more.
In the driveway, Gabriel helps me out and leads me inside to the living room. Julio and Felix are there and I get a glimpse of a guy I assume is one of their other roommates. He doesn’t introduce himself and I don’t take the time to ask.
Julio grabs a first aid kit from the kitchen and takes one look at Gabriel, who’s pacing the room before dropping beside me.
He pulls out some antiseptic and cleans the cut on my head before sitting back and eyeing me with worry.
“You going to tell us what happened before Gabe wears down a permanent path on the floors?” He chuckles, but it’s forced.
“Had a brief run in with an asshole. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Fuck!” Gabriel explodes into action, slamming his fist into the drywall beside him.
It disappears into the wall, only for him to tear it back out.
Bits of dust and debris fall to the floor, and I stare open mouthed at the hole he made.
I knew he was upset, but I didn’t realize he was this angry, and I’m terrified to ask if any of his anger is directed at me.
Chest heaving, he opens and closes his fist, staring down at his now bleeding knuckles.
“Get it together.” There’s a warning in Julio’s voice. “She’s been through enough, and your tantrum isn’t helping.”
Gabriel’s mouth twists in disgust. Out of habit, I curl in on myself, sinking deeper into the cushions of the sofa. Gabriel catches my reaction and the color drains from his face.
“Shit.” He exhales a few colorful curses and drops to his knees in front of me. “I didn’t think. I’m sorry. I—” He cups my face in his bruised hand and holds my gaze. “I’m so fucking angry,” he confesses.
“With me?” Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip I try to turn away, but he crawls closer,, cradling my face in both his hands.
“Never.” He uses his thumbs to wipe beneath my eyes and presses his lips to my forehead. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself for not being there to protect you.” And there lies the problem. I’m not Gabriel’s responsibility to protect.
“You couldn’t have known—“
“That Holt would come after you?” His words take me by surprise.
“Gabe, you didn’t—” Julio begins.
“I should have,” Gabriel cuts him off. “We know how guys like Holt operate. If I paid attention, I would have seen this coming. Cecilia would have been safe.” He sits back on his heels and runs his fingers through his hair, tugging at the dark brown strands in frustration.
“What did you do?” My voice shakes and I hate the look of guilt that flashes across both their faces. Pulling away, I straighten in my seat, tucking my legs beneath me. I need some separation between us. Gabriel and Julio stare at one another, some silent communication passing between them.
That’s fine. I can wait. A dull throb takes up residence in my head, and both sides of my jaw where Austin grabbed me are sore. Probably bruised.
Felix steps into the room, registers the look on our faces and clears his throat, signaling for Julio to follow. I’d laugh at how quickly those two run to avoid confrontation, but it’d hurt my face too much.