Chapter 47
CECILIA
Ifind Adriana on campus the next day and spill everything that happened the night before. "I don’t know what I’m doing," I confess, feeling overwhelmed.
“You’re getting laid,” she tells me with a smirk. “That’s what’s happening. Why do you sound so torn up about it?”
I groan, rubbing a hand over my face. “This is bad.” Right? Of course it’s bad. How can a friend with benefits situation-ship with Gabriel be a good thing?
Shit.
What was I thinking?
“I don’t see what you’re so upset about,” she says. “The way you described last night, it sounds like you had a good time. What’s the problem, here?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Maybe it’s the fact that I went on a date, had a panic attack, got in a fight with my ex, and then we screwed each other's brains out, all while agreeing to continue screwing one another’s brains out as friends with benefits. None of those things belong together.”
“If you say so,” she says with a shrug. “But I still don’t see a problem with this. The date is whatever,” she waves a hand through the air. “You weren’t interested in him anyway, right? Like romantically.”
“Well, no.” He was nice, but I’m not looking for a relationship here. A second date would be misleading. Not that he ever got around to asking with everything that happened.
“Okay, so that settles that one. The panic attack …” Her lips purse together. “It could have been worse. You overcame one of your fears and are here talking about it today. I’d call that progress.”
Swallowing hard, I nod. Yeah, I guess you can say that. It sucked in the moment. Royally. But it is what it is. The best thing I can do now is put it behind me and pray it doesn’t happen again.
I shudder. Fuck Austin. And Fuck the Zeta Pi house. They do not get to win.
“What about the Gabe thing?” I ask, my anxiety spiking as I trail after her toward my next class. That’s what I’m most worried about here.
“What about it?” she counters.
“You don’t think it’s a massive mistake?” I ask. “The more I think about it, the more I realize that no matter how we do this, one of us is going to get hurt. I’ve already hurt him once before. I don’t want to do that again. He deserves so much better. But I also—“
“You want him?” she asks.
“Obviously,” I mutter. "But it's more than that.
Last night was ... different. It was intense, and I don't know if I can do casual with him." The way he makes me feel, I don’t know how to describe it. Last night was … it was something and everything all wrapped into one. We’ve had sex before.
Sweet, romantic, cautious sex. But never anything like that.
Never where Gabriel drops the reins and just fucks me like an animal.
And don’t get me wrong, I liked what we did before. And I appreciated how careful he was with me, but …
I chew on my bottom lip.
Adriana smirks knowingly. "So what I’m hearing is that Gabriel's dick is that good?"
“Shut up.” I smack her arm.
“Oh my god. It is! I can’t believe Gabriel Herrera’s dick is that revolutionary.” She chuckles. “Who would have known he had it in him?”
My face burns with embarrassment. "Yes, okay? It was amazing." I loop my arm through hers and all but drag her down the hallway. “Now stop talking about it.”
I can’t believe I just admitted that out loud, but I mean, it was really good. Like the best sex of my life good.
“No way.” Her eyes twinkle with mischief. “If the dick is that good, you need to enjoy it. Have fun and stop overthinking everything.”
"But what if it all goes wrong and blows up in my face later?" I protest.
"You can't predict the future," she says. "But you can definitely enjoy the present. You both want the same thing. Don't let something like a little fear hold you back from having the best sex of your life. It’s okay to be a little selfish.” She wiggles her brows, and I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Yo! Cecilia!” Gabriel's voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I spot him waiting outside our classroom door, a cocky grin on his lips. “You coming?”
He dips his head toward Adriana in greeting, and she mirrors his nod.
I exhale a breath of relief when I don’t spot any animosity in either of their gazes. I know they have history, but maybe enough time has passed that they’ve both moved on?
I glance at Adriana, who gives me an encouraging nod. "Go on," she murmurs. "Have fun with your man."
"He is not my man," I protest, but there's a smile on my face as I practically skip down the hallway toward Gabriel.
“Hey,” I say as I reach him.
"Hey, yourself." His eyes dart around, ensuring we're alone before he pulls me close.
“What are you doing?” I hiss.
His head dips forward, and my eyes fall to his lips. “Gabriel—” Any protest dies on my lips as he kisses me. This kiss is nothing like the one he gave me on my porch last night—this one is all-consuming.
My arms instinctively find their way around his shoulders, and I press myself against his chest.
His hand presses to the side of my neck, thumb tracing my pulse, as he angles my head the way he wants it and deepens the kiss.
There is no way we can stop doing this.
His lips on mine feel like a wildfire, burning away my doubts and fears. His mouth devours mine as though I’m the air he needs to breathe.
I am in so much trouble.
When we finally break apart, both of us are breathless. "We should get to class," I whisper, my lips tingling from the kiss.
I need to move. To walk away. Because if I don’t, we’re going to do that again and we’re too exposed. Someone is bound to see us.
"We should," he agrees, his grin suggesting he's not done with me yet.
Right. "Okay," I say, forcing myself to step back and walk through the doorway. Gabriel follows close behind, and we take our seats.
“What are your plans tonight?” he asks.
“Swim,” I tell him. “I don’t really know after that. Why?”
He shrugs, his gaze intense as he shifts in his chair. I can't help but notice the way his legs spread, and the very obvious bulge between them.
He chuckles, and I quickly look away when I realize I've been staring.
Cecilia. Get it together.
"Come over afterward. I’ll make dinner," he suggests, catching me off guard.
My brows pull together. We already completed our project and turned it in. Ours wasn’t one of the ones chosen at random by Professor Arndt, so we don’t need to go over how to present it or anything.
“What for?”
His eyes drink me in slowly, and I don’t miss the heat in his gaze. Right. That.
My skin prickles under his intense stare, and I'm acutely aware of the heat emanating from him.
It’s like he’s undressing me with his eyes.
Clearing my throat, I nod. “Yeah. Umm … “ All of a sudden, I feel both exposed and turned on by my reaction to him. Slightly embarrassed too, if I’m honest with myself.
We agreed to sex with no strings, so of course he’s cashing in. And I mean, I want him to, right?
When his gaze meets mine again, the fire in them licks through me and shoots a bolt of need straight into my core.
Yes. I definitely do.
But is it too soon?
“I promised the guys I’d make gorditas, remember?” Gabriel adds, sensing my hesitation.
Right. “What time?” I manage to ask, my voice betraying my growing anticipation.
A smirk tugs at the corners of his lips, triumph evident in his expression. "What time are you done with practice?"
“Four PM.”
“Can you come straight over afterwards, or do you need to go home first?”
Butterflies swarm in my belly, and I shake my head. “I don’t need to go home first,” I tell him.
“It’s settled then.”
As our teacher walks in, we fall silent, but Gabriel and the anticipation of what awaits us later today consume my thoughts for the rest of the day.