Chapter 31
Colin
“Heath, I don’t need this shit. Grow the fuck up,” I practically growl after I close my office door.
He drops himself on the couch and laughs as if what just happened is the funniest thing on earth. I love the kid, but he can be a true pain in the ass.
“I heard her say I looked like Gumby, only without the sex appeal. Well, now she looks like a witch. Too bad her giant behind will probably break the broom.” And he bursts into uncontrollable laughter again.
This is the last thing I need after the three days I've had. When Uncle Milton called, he led me to believe he was waiting to be discharged from the hospital. That was not true. They had admitted him after diagnosing him with a concussion. He mixed up his medication and took two doses instead of one, got dizzy, and hit his head as he was passing out. He needed stitches, and his blood pressure would not go down. I spent Saturday night and most of Sunday in the hospital with him. I spent yesterday at his home, looking over his medications, talking to his staff, and making him his favorite soup because, according to him, his chef sucks.
“I’ve barely had any sleep, and I’m so not in the mood to deal with your antics.” He crosses his arms and looks away like a petulant child. “When I brought you on, I didn’t think I needed to explain how to behave in an office. This isn’t high school, Heath.”
“It feels like it, and Ernestine is the mean girl. Well, I’ll show her,” he says. He stands and walks closer to me.
“Well, nothing.” I run a hand over my face. I was too tired to bother shaving this morning. “I’m ordering you, as your boss, to stop the nonsense. And you need to apologize to her.”
“Apologize? I will do no such thing. She’s been body-shaming me for weeks now, Uncle Paddy. I just gave her a dose of her own medicine.”
“Grow the fuck up. Apologize, or you’re fired. I’m not in the mood for this shit.”
He takes a step back at my tone, then gives me the side-eye. “Are you sick or something?” he asks. “Let me make you some—”
“Did you not hear what I said?” I ask.
“Fine, but I won’t mean it,” he says. “To make it up to you, I’ll get you a coffee with an extra shot of espresso. By the way, you paid for that fancy machine in the kitchen and the coffee beans. They’re from Ethiopia.” He whispers the last part. “It’s a subscription, so don’t cancel it. I know you’re loaded.”
I shake my head at him.
“And guess who won’t be getting any coffee from me?” he throws in on his way out the door.
“Ernestine? I don’t care if you don’t give her coffee. Apologize and leave her the hell alone, and if she starts any shit with you, tell me.”
“I wouldn’t give her a stick of gum,” he says. “But Ice Princess can’t have any coffee. I’m pretty sure she’s pregnant.”
The words don’t faze me for a couple of seconds. It’s not until he has his hand on the doorknob that they register. “Wait? What?” I ask him. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“She’s pregnant. She’s been puking, and she looks like shit. I’ve never seen her look so bad. I’d never tell her, but her taste in clothes are chef’s kiss.” He puts his fingertips to his lips and kisses them.
“How do you know she’s pregnant, Heath?” I practically yell.
“Well,” he says as if we’re two teenage girls gossiping. He moves closer, lowers his voice, and says, “When Tabitha Fitzhugh got pregnant, she looked as horrible as Ice Princess.”
“Who the hell is Tabitha Fitzhugh?”
“A girl from my high school. She was knocked up, and a week later, she wasn’t. Draw your own conclusions,” he says with a raised brow. “Ice Princess puked twice today and tried to drink some tea, but the smell offended her. And because I have to do everything around here, I gave her a bottle of water and told her to stay away from caffeine.” He walks out after that, leaving me utterly confused.
There’s no way. This is probably just Heath starting another rumor in the office. The times we’ve had unprotected sex are too recent for her to be having signs of pregnancy. The other times, we used protection.
But protection is not one hundred percent.
He’s wrong. Only a fool would take Heath’s words seriously, but the time tracks. What if she is? If she is, I don’t doubt for a second that it’s mine. But she’s not. She would tell me if she was.
I’m still annoyed that our talk didn’t happen on Saturday. I plan to invite her to my place for dinner tonight to talk, but instead of waiting, I decide to go to her office. I find her running toward me when I step out in the hallway. She has a hand over her mouth and goes into the bathroom. It’s not the ladies’ room. This one is a single, unisex bathroom. There’s no one in the hallway, so I walk to the door, put my ear to it, and hear loud retching. I turn the knob, and it’s unlocked, so I go in and lock it.
She’s too busy throwing up to hear me. She does it until there’s nothing left, and she dry heaves for a few minutes. I put a hand on her back, and she stills but doesn’t push me away. She flushes, stands, and approaches the sink to rinse her mouth and face. She pats it dry with a paper towel, and when I look into her eyes, I see what Heath is talking about.
Her eyes are still beautiful but sunken, and she looks horrible.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” I ask.
“Uh,” she says. “I think I have a stomach bug. Either that or food poisoning.” She reaches inside her pocket and pops two mints in her mouth.
It sounds believable, but Heath says she can’t stand the smell of certain foods. I don’t know how he would know that’s a pregnancy symptom, but it is. When Lisa was pregnant, she told me she could not stand the smell of most foods or perfumes.
“Don’t lie to me, Brynne.” I run a hand over my face. The last thing I was expecting to hear today is that I’m going to be a father.
“What do you mean?” She tries to walk past me, but I block the door. “And why are you in here? This place is already a hotbed for gossip. I don’t want people saying we were having a quickie in the bathroom.” When I don’t move, she says, “Can you move, please?”
“So, you’re not going to tell me you’re pregnant with my baby?” I point at her stomach. “I want it, by the way.”
“Excuse me?” she asks. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re pregnant,” I hiss.
“Where the hell did you get that idea? You know, people can throw up for other reasons besides pregnancy.”
“What about your sensitivity to smells? Your inability to eat?”
Her eyes widen, and her head rolls back. Then she narrows her eyes.
“How do you know all that?” Then something changes on her face, and I think understanding dawns. “Did Heath tell you this?” When I refuse to answer, she says, “Unbelievable. I’m not pregnant. I got my period on Sunday. I still have it. Do you want to see?”
When I move closer and look down, she says, “Well, I’m not going to show you, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. And how dare you barge in here to tell me what to do with my body.”
“I didn’t tell you what to do with your body. What I said was if you were pregnant, I’d want the baby.”
“Well, there is no baby, so you, your demands, and Heath can kiss my—”
“Bend over, and I will,” I say. There’s also a small measure of relief, but I know I want this with her, and I’m glad I have more time.
She pushes me, and I move. She goes around me and storms out of the bathroom.
“You,” Brynne says, pointing at Heath along the way, “in my office. Now.” She gestures for him to go. He follows, and so do I.
Ernestine is already there by the time we get into her office.
“Did you tell Mr. Kincaid that I’m pregnant?” she asks Heath once she has her door closed.
“Well, aren’t you?” he asks without a hint of fear of her anger.
“No, you little twerp, I’m not. And if I were, it would be none of your damn business. Who the hell are you to go running your mouth about things you know nothing about?”
“Hold on. Don’t talk to him like that,” I say, defending Heath. “He didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Yes, he did. He’s undermining me. I want him gone. Fire him. Now,” she says to me. She crosses her arms and waits. Heath does the same, knowing damn well that I won’t.
“Fine,” Brynne says. “I’ll do it. Heath, pack your shit and go. You’re fired.”
“Finally,” Ernestine says as she bounces on her heels.
“You can’t fire me. You’re not my boss,” Heath says.
“Fine. I’ll call Milton.” Heath lets out a little chuckle, which I hope Brynne doesn’t hear.
“Why are you laughing about that?” Ernestine says. “What’s so funny about being fired? Not that your little twig ass don’t deserve it.”
“Will you stop body-shaming me?” Heath yells.
“What body?” Ernestine asks with a dismissive snort. Then she whispers, “Twig.”
“Heath and Ernestine, out. I need to talk to Brynne,” I order. I don’t worry about her reaching Milton. The only calls he’s taking today are mine.
“Milton,” I hear her say, and I look to the ceiling. I should have stayed home today. “I need to talk to you.” I usher Ernestine and Heath out.
“Go pack your shit and take your ugly ass cardigans with you,” Ernestine says with glee. “And you can shove your coffee beans where the sun don’t shine.”
Once they’re gone, I close and lock the door. I go to her desk and hit the speaker button.
“There’s a new hire by the name of Heath Conroy here, and I just fired him. Colin won’t do anything about it, but Heath’s created a hostile environment. He bullies Ernestine, and now he’s spreading untrue rumors about me in the office.”
The room goes quiet until I say, “Uncle Milty, let me handle it.”
“Well, you better handle it, Colin. I don’t need this right now. Brynne, I trust Colin to handle the situation as he sees fit. That’s why I left him in charge. I trust his judgment.”
Brynne purses her lips. She looks at me and back at the phone, and I see the moment she feels utter defeat. Her shoulders sag, and I swear I see unshed tears, but that only lasts a moment until she straightens and regains her composure. “I see. Of course.” She hangs up without saying goodbye. “Please get the hell out of my office.” She sits behind her desk and starts to type. “I said get out.” When I make no move to leave, she says, “Or not, I guess. I have no say. I’ve only been working here longer than you, but you get the job that was promised to me, and I can’t even fire an incompetent hire. The only hire you’ve made, by the way, and he’s a fucking menace. But, sure, he can stay. Hey, I have an idea. Let him have my job.”
She starts typing furiously. If I weren’t so exhausted, I could think faster on my feet and defuse the situation.
“This is my fault. I’m the one who—”
“Stole my fucking job!” she yells. “You’re the one who stole my fucking job because you have the right last name, and I don’t. And I’m the idiot who fucked you and got fucked over in the process.” She stands and shuts down her computer.
“Can you please sit down? I thought we were finally getting to a good place. I don’t want to argue.”
“Fire him then. Fire Heath,” she demands. She pulls her coat off the coat rack she keeps in the corner and angrily shoves her arms in. After she ties the belt, she looks up at me expectantly. This is an ultimatum, and she’s going to choose this hill to die on.
“It doesn’t have to come to that,” is all I say.
“It already has. Some assistant is more important than me. Fine. From now on, I will do my work and go home. I no longer give a fuck about this place. I’m going to work from home the rest of the day.”
“Okay, you’re free to do that. When you’re less angry, I’d like to talk to you about—”
“If you have anything to say to me, you put it in a work email. The only thing we will ever talk about is work, and I’d appreciate it if we could have a paper trail.”
“That’s ridiculous. All of this over a twenty-three-year-old who talks too much? I’ve already talked to him. I gave him a warning.”
“Great. You gave him a slap on the wrist. That will teach him. You, Heath, your uncle, and your warning can go to hell.” She grabs her laptop, puts it in her bag, and walks to the door. She stops when she has her hand on the knob. “I regret the day I ever laid eyes on you.”
“Brynne, can you—”
She opens the door and slams it behind her, leaving me alone in her office and stunned by the turn of events. How the hell did everything go to hell so quickly? I haven’t been here a full hour yet, and all the progress I made with Brynne walked right out the door along with her.
Then I remember it’s all because of Heath and his big mouth.
The office door opens, and the source of my irritation walks in. “She walked out of here like the place was on fire. You should have seen the way she looked at me. Ice Princess has a big ice pole up her ass.” He cackles. “Coffee?” he asks, shoving a mug in my face.
“I think you should go home for the rest of the day,” I say. “Your behavior is out of control, and I’m too angry right now to deal with you.” I walk past him and slam the door behind me. Everything about today is fucked up. I went from almost getting her back to having it blown to hell all in a matter of minutes. All through no fault of my own.
Only, it’s all my fault for listening to Heath and not thinking critically as any sane adult would do. I’m certain she hasn’t quit because she just bought that house and is having extensive and expensive work done to it. I also know she owns the condo I visited on Saturday. She’s strapped for cash; otherwise, she would tell my uncle and me where to go.