Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
annalise
The crash of waves blends with the laughter of children and the sharp barks of sea lions splashing around the pier. I finish the last of my clam chowder and toss the empty container into a nearby trash can.
Grabbing my bag, I pull out my sketchbook and colored pencils.
I’d been holed up in my apartment all morning, staring at blank pages and crumpling every attempt at a new design. So I came to the pier, hoping a change of scenery would cure my creative block.
Sketching used to be effortless. A flower, a bird, even a plate of food could spark an idea that blossomed into a beautiful piece of clothing.
But ever since I returned to San Francisco, I’ve struggled to find inspiration.
Between Veronica’s ruthless demands and the constant worry over Abuelo, I haven’t had the heart to create.
Lately, I’ve felt like I’m losing myself.
But then Maddox’s words of encouragement sparked something within me—something I thought had been fading away. I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach when I think of him and the way his eyes lit up as he encouraged me to keep chasing my dreams.
Those beautiful warm brown eyes.
Suddenly an idea strikes me, and I pull out a brown colored pencil that closely matches his eye color. I smile to myself as I glide the pencil across the paper. Each stroke brings me one step closer to creating something beautiful.
When I hold up the finished sketch, a sparkly brown mermaid gown stares back at me, and for the first time in months, I’m proud.
I shake my head, wondering who would’ve thought I’d find inspiration from my ex.
“Tsuki, get back here!”
I glance up just as a fluffy white blur barrels toward me, leash dragging behind her. Maddox is sprinting after her but Tsuki beats him to me, leaping onto the bench and smothering me in kisses.
“Hi, pretty girl,” I coo, scratching behind her ears.
“I’m so sorry about my—” Maddox skids to a stop, then freezes when he sees me. “Annalise. Hey.”
It’s cloudy today but he’s wearing sunglasses—probably so people won’t recognize him—along with a hunter-green sweater, dark blue jeans, and—my heart stumbles—the same grey beanie I knitted for him years ago.
He slides onto the bench, eyes dropping to my sketch. “Wow. This is stunning.” His fingers brush mine as he lifts the page, and a jolt of electricity shoots through me.
“Did you get inspired by those lazy sea lions?” he asks, nodding toward a group of them lounging on the dock.
“Yeah, the sea lions,” I say quickly, eyes darting away as heat creeps onto my cheeks.
“The way your mind works never ceases to amaze me,” he says, a warm smile touching his lips.
“Remember that time at the store? You spotted that funky lamp, and by the end of the night you’d turned the idea into your prom dress.
” He closes the space between us until our thighs press firmly together and locks his eyes with mine. “You are extraordinary, Annalise.”
A smile ghosts over my lips and the flutters in my stomach multiply. I clear my throat and tuck my sketchbook and colored pencils back into my bag. “So… you’re playing against Boston tomorrow?” I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
If he keeps saying things like that—keeps pulling up old memories—I don’t stand a chance of containing these damn butterflies.
His brow arches, a slow knowing smirk curving his mouth. “Oh, so you’ve been keeping up with my game schedule, Monroe?”
“No,” I say, a little too quickly. “My coworker, Ivy. She’s a huge basketball fan. She mentioned it.”
“Uh-huh. Whatever you say.” He chuckles, low and warm. “But yeah, I’ll be in Boston. Supposed to be, what, twenty degrees?” He tugs at his beanie and grins. “Good thing I’ve got this to keep me warm.”
My cheeks turn a darker shade of pink. My gaze lingers on the beanie and I notice how worn it is—fuzzy edges, a few loose threads. My chest tightens. “I didn’t think you still had that.”
“I wear it every winter,” he admits, his own cheeks tinged pink. “None of my other beanies keep me as warm.”
Warmth blooms in my chest. If he kept the beanie… what else did he keep?
“The other ones you have probably don’t use quality yarn,” I say, smiling softly.
“Nor were they made by you,” he notes, his hands settling over mine. The simple touch sends my heart into a frenzy. My mind screams at me to pull away—yet I don’t. I can’t.
Weeks ago, when we were tangled together on his couch, I was unable to pull away because I was fueled by lust and the desperate need to dull the ache between my legs.
But this… this is different. This is slower, deeper, and dangerous in a way I don’t want to name.
A feeling I shouldn’t allow myself to have.
Then Tsuki’s head snaps up, a low growl rumbling from her chest. She hops off the bench, teeth bared. Maddox’s hand slips from mine as he tightens his grip on her leash before she can lunge.
Disappointment flickers through me—but maybe it’s for the best. Sitting here with his hand on mine felt far too familiar, too easy. A path I can’t let myself wander down again.
“Tsuki, calm down!” Maddox urges. He pulls a treat from his pocket and sets it on the ground but she ignores it, eyes locked, growl unrelenting.
He sighs, shaking his head. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”
I rise from the bench and crouch beside her, reaching out gently. “Hey, Tsuki… What’s wrong, baby girl? Do you want to go for a—”
“Annalise?”
The voice freezes me. My breath stalls, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling.
Tsuki must’ve sensed negative energy, because standing before me is my father, hand in hand with the woman he betrayed my mother with.
“Why isn’t it working?” Maddox groans, swiping our hotel key over and over before rattling the handle.
We’re in New York for the weekend, exploring potential colleges. Devereaux Fashion Institute is only a few blocks from NYU, and we could easily commute together and grab food during our lunch breaks. I’m so excited, thinking about living in New York together.
“Maybe we need to go down to the lobby and get a new key.” He sighs.
I glance up at the number on the door and laugh. “This is 268. Our room’s 286.”
Maddox groans, dragging a hand down his face. “Damn it. Guess I was too distracted by your beauty.”
“You are so cheesy.” I grin, slipping my hand into his as we walk down the hall.
“Think we’ll have time to check out Central Park before our flight tomorrow?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I nod. “I wanna see the—what the hell?”
I glance up and my pulse spikes, heat flooding my chest.
Pressed against a doorframe is my father—his hands all over his secretary, his mouth on hers.
He told us he had to go out of town on business. Apparently that “business” involves groping his secretary.
His head jerks up, eyes wide. “Annalise. W-what are you doing here?”
“Touring colleges,” I snap, tears already stinging.
“Not that you’d remember—I guess you were too busy screwing your assistant to care.
” My voice cracks, anger and grief tangling in my throat.
“How could you do this to mom? She stuck by you all these years, despite you being a crappy husband and father! She’s done so much for you, and this is how you repay her? ”
He drops his gaze, shifting on his feet. “Your mother and I… We’ve been drifting apart for years.”
A harsh, bitter laugh bursts from me. “And that gives you an excuse to cheat on her? You are unbelievable. And you”—I turn, cutting my glare to the woman still frozen beside him—“sleeping with a married man. Do you not have any self-respect?”
She fumbles with the sleeves of her dress, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Annalise, I’m so sorry,” my father mutters weakly.
“No. If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” My chest aches, fury burning through me. “I hate you.”
Before he can answer, I storm down the hall, my vision blurred with a torrent of tears.
“How have you been, Annalise?” he asks, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ve been, uh, trying to call you.”
“I know.” My reply is clipped, sharp. “I’ve been ignoring you.”
He clears his throat, forcing a weak smile. “It’s nice seeing you two still together. And, uh—congratulations on the NBA, Maddox.”
“Thanks,” Maddox answers flatly, his jaw tight, muscles twitching.
My father turns his attention back to me. “Annalise, can we please talk?”
“I have nothing to say to you, Julian.”
He sighs, shoulders sagging. “I know I made mistakes, but please give me a chance to make things right. Let me be a part of your life again.”
“My life is just fine without you in it,” I snap, every word dripping with the bitterness I’ve carried for years. “You were never there for me while I was growing up, so it wouldn’t really make much of a difference now.”
“Can you please find it in your heart to forgive me?” He takes a careful step forward, only to freeze when Tsuki growls, her lips curling back. He retreats, hands lifted slightly.
I cross my arms over my chest, the anger boiling over. “Why should I? You destroyed our family! You ruined Mom!”
“Your brother gave me another chance,” he says quietly. “Can’t you do the same?”
“Ollie was too young to understand what was going on, which made it easier for you to manipulate him,” I bite back.
He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Silence stretches between us before he shoves his hands into his pockets, eyes dropping to the pavement.
My gaze flicks to the ring glittering on his mistress’s hand and fury knots in my gut. “Congratulations, by the way. If you two start a family, I hope you’ll be a better father to them than you ever were to me.”
I shoot them a scathing smile before turning on my heel. Maddox and Tsuki fall in step behind me.
My grip tightens around the railing near the dock as I blink back angry tears. “I can’t believe he’s still trying to ask for forgiveness,” I mutter, shaking my head.
“He’s got some fucking nerve for that,” Maddox say, his jaw clenched. “What he did was unforgivable.”
“I can’t stand the fact that he’s still with her. That he’s happy,” I say, my voice trembling with rage. “Meanwhile my mom is still trying to piece herself back together.”
“It’s not fair,” he says, shaking his head. “One day, karma’s going to catch up with him. Then he’ll know what betrayal feels like.”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I hope so.”
He’s quiet for a beat before asking, more softly, “Your mom hasn’t dated since the divorce?”
I shake my head. “Says she doesn’t need anyone—that me and Ollie are enough—but I can see it in her eyes. She’s lonely. She wants love, even if she won’t admit it.” My throat tightens. “She deserves someone who will treat her right.”
“Your father doesn’t deserve either of you. I hope she finds someone worthy of her love.” Those brown eyes hold mine, full of words he doesn’t speak. “And I hope you do too.”
Another shard of ice cracks loose from my heart. Here he is again—lifting me up when I’m about ready to crumble, steady and grounding. And yet… Maddox is the one weakness I can’t afford. I have to be careful—before the whole wall shatters and nothing is left to protect me from him.