Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
annalise
Ever since I found out about Abuelo’s diagnosis, I’ve pushed it to the back of my mind, not wanting to face reality.
But tonight, all the emotions I’ve been suppressing came crashing through me as though a floodgate had been opened.
In that moment, I forgot about the past I had with Maddox and let myself get lost in the familiar warmth of his embrace.
For the rest of the world, I put on a facade and keep my problems to myself. Maddox makes me feel safe enough to let my barriers down. He sees the parts I keep hidden from the rest of the world and the silent battles I fight alone.
I thought what I felt for Maddox was just pure lust, but being in his arms again has me doubting my feelings.
“Did you have a good time tonight?” Lucas asks after Maddox leaves us alone on the rooftop. He wraps his arms around my waist.
My body stiffens at his touch. “Yeah. I’m glad I decided to come,” I say, forcing a smile. “Being able to see Adriana again was a great experience.”
“You look so beautiful tonight,” he says, snaking his hands through my hair.
Then, without warning, he crushes his lips to mine.
I’m shocked at first as his lips move against mine in a sloppy kiss. It takes a second to wake the hell up—but when I do, I kiss him back, hoping it extinguishes whatever I’m feeling for Maddox.
Everything I feel for him is so damn confusing. I don’t want to trust him again after what he did, but I can’t deny that he’s become a safe space for me, just like he used to be.
And unfortunately for me, kissing Lucas isn’t changing my feelings for him in the slightest. It doesn’t help that when Lucas’s lips first met mine, I didn’t feel a single thing. Not a spark, or even a twinge of anything remotely romantic.
I felt more when Maddox was just standing in front of me. I can still feel his touch lingering on my skin, burning into the depths of my soul.
Lucas finally pulls away, a dazed grin on his face. “I’ve waited eight long years to do that. I’ve had a crush on you ever since I laid eyes on you in our ninth-grade history class.”
Not knowing how to respond, I smile back at him.
And that’s when I realize that kissing Lucas only makes me more confused about my feelings for Maddox.
The trees outside sway violently in the wind as the sound of thunder rumbles through the lobby. Driving to work today was terrifying. The rain was pouring down so heavily that I could barely see the road.
I’m extremely late, but I’m grateful that I made it in one piece.
The doors to the elevator are about to close so I race toward it, spotting Maddox inside.
“Hold the elevator!” I call out. He presses a button and the doors open again.
“Thank you.” I smile at him, expecting him to return it or make some kind of flirty remark. Instead, he doesn’t acknowledge my presence, and his eyes remain glued to his phone.
“Man, this weather is insane. It felt like I was driving through a hurricane,” I say, attempting to start a conversation, but he continues scrolling through his phone.
Ever since we came back into each other’s lives, we’ve been at each other’s throats. Last weekend was one of the few times we'd had a normal conversation without getting into a heated argument.
We shared a moment on the rooftop at Chandler’s party. We nearly kissed, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what could have happened between then and now to explain his change in behavior.
In all the years I’ve known Maddox, he’s never been one to remain silent. He’s always been vocal and has never had trouble expressing himself. Something has to be seriously bothering him to act this way.
“Okay, what’s wrong—” The elevator jerks, causing me to fall forward. “Shit!” I gasp, grabbing on to Maddox to steady myself.
It comes to a complete stop, and everything goes dark.
Using the flashlight on my phone, I shine it on the panel and press the emergency call button, but the only sound coming from the other end of the line is static.
Fucking great. I nearly died on the way to work today, and now I’ll be stuck here for Lord knows how long. What a fantastic way to start my week.
Not wanting to be in complete darkness, I pull my water bottle out of my bag and place it on top of my phone to create a makeshift lantern.
“We might as well pass some time, since I don’t know when someone will come by to get us out.
How’s everything going with the collab?” I try again, hoping to get a response out of him this time.
He continues wearing a blank expression and starts watching videos on his phone.
“Are you seriously ignoring me?” I groan. “Weren’t you the one who said we should be cordial?”
He rolls his eyes. “Good morning, Annalise. There. Are you satisfied now?”
“Why are you being such a freaking jerk?”
He straightens to his full height, brows furrowing with sharp irritation. “Oh, so it’s okay for you to ignore me, but when I do it, I’m the bad guy?”
Dragging both hands down my face, I release a groan. My back thuds against the cold metal wall as I glare at him. “Ugh! I can’t believe out of all people, I have to be stuck in an elevator with you!”
His arms fold across his chest as he steps forward, closing some of the distance between us. “Oh, I’m sorry. Would you rather be here with your boyfriend Lucas?”
“Oh my God! We went on one date. He’s not my boyfriend.”
His jaw tightens. “Didn’t look that way to me.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, my brows drawing together.
“I saw you, Annalise!” There’s a flame beneath his deep brown eyes. “I saw you kissing him.”
Guilt pierces through me, making me regret the kiss more than I already do. The look on his face crushes me. The last time I saw him this broken was when I left him four years ago.
“Are you purposely trying to hurt me?” he asks, his voice cracking. “Are you trying to get back at me for something I didn’t even do?”
I take a shaky breath, hands trembling at my side. “No, I-I don’t know why I kissed him,” I say. The words tumble out, frantic and tangled. “I’ve been so damn confused.”
A bitter laugh escapes him as he throws his hands into the air.
“Oh, you’ve been confused? How the hell do you think I feel, Annalise?
” he yells. “You tell me you hate me, but your actions say otherwise. I never know where I stand with you!” His chest rises and falls rapidly as he stares at me, eyes blazing.
“If you want to be with Lucas, then be with him. Stop playing with my emotions. Stop giving me all these damn mixed signals!”
I shake my head, stepping forward instinctively. “I don’t want to be with him! I don’t have feelings for him.”
“Then what do you want?” he says, his eyes searching mine.
“I don’t know!” I shout, voice breaking.
“You drive me fucking crazy, Monroe.”
He yanks me close to him, crashing his lips onto mine, giving me my answer.
What I want is him.