Chapter 29 Annalise
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
annalise
Soft pink and golden hues paint the sky, and the gentle breeze caresses my skin as I stroll along the rugged shoreline.
Blissful memories wash over me and flutters form in the pit of my stomach when I near the secluded beach cove.
I can feel Maddox’s presence nearby, pulling me like a magnet to the place that belongs to us and only us.
This place was our sanctuary. We used to come here when we needed to escape from the rest of the world. Maddox and I would spend hours talking or just being together in silence, and we’d often lose track of time.
My heart hammers against my ribs when I see him standing inside the cove. He looks devastatingly handsome. The sunlight beams on his face, illuminating those beautiful brown eyes.
Maddox lifts his hand and places it on the wall of the cavern, his fingers tracing over the engraving of our initials and the heart surrounding it.
“You know, today would mark six years since I did this.” Maddox turns to me, the corners of his mouth curving into a dimpled smile.
Heat flushes my cheeks and the flutters in my stomach intensify. Six years ago he told me loved me in this very spot, and later he carved our initials into the wall.
I step closer to him and my hand reaches up to trace over it. “I can’t believe it’s been that long.”
“When was the last time you were here?” Maddox glances at me sidelong.
I tug at the hem of my shirt. “Gosh, I haven’t been here since we left for college.”
His hand brushes against mine, and instinctively I interlace my fingers with his. Electricity thrums through my veins at the simple touch. Alarms go off in my head, telling me to let go, but being here with him feels so right. I don’t want to let go.
“This place holds a piece of us,” he says. “I’d come here hoping one day I would see you again, and that you would come back to me.”
There were a handful of times where I came back to San Francisco to visit and felt a pull toward the cove. I would drive around aimlessly, and before I knew it, I would end up near where we would typically park. Once I realized where I was, I would turn back around.
I wonder if it was his soul trying to reach for me.
He turns his body toward me, his eyes meeting mine. “I really missed you, Annalise. Not a day went by where you didn’t cross my mind.”
“I missed you too, Maddox,” I say softly. His eyes glaze over at the admittance. “I’ve been living with anger since it all went down, and I’m tired of being mad at the world. I never gave you a real chance to explain to me what happened, but I want to hear you out.”
Maddox takes a deep breath before he starts. “The night before you came, we had a huge party after the game to celebrate our win. A ton of people from our class showed up, and a lot of them came and went. It was impossible to keep up with who all was there.”
“Was Charlotte there?” My stomach twists and I feel my throat dry up when her name leaves my lips.
“Yeah. I think she came with some friends, but I didn’t talk to her at all.
” He takes a breath. “I was with Andrés and some of the other guys from the team the whole night. I tried my best to enjoy myself, but it was hard. All I wanted was to be with you for our anniversary, so I drank more than I normally do to mask how bummed I was.”
“Do you remember anything from that night?”
Maddox shakes his head. “I remember playing beer pong with the guys, and that’s pretty much it. Everything else is a blur.”
I can see all the hurt in his eyes—the hurt that he’s been carrying this whole time. All these years, I thought he was happy. He has his dream career and makes more money than I could ever dream of. But seeing him now, I know he's been hiding pain behind that success.
“I spoke to Charlotte after you left, but she kept trying to manipulate me. I even tried asking some people from school, but no one knew anything.”
Tears cascade down his face and his voice starts to crack. “I was a mess when you left. I spiraled and started smoking and drinking more. Even came close to losing my scholarship.”
My heart aches knowing that he almost lost everything he’s been working toward his whole life because of what happened.
“I wish more than anything that I had proof I didn’t cheat on you.
I will never forgive myself for getting that wasted, but I hope you know that I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship.
” Maddox cups my cheeks, his eyes boring into mine.
“What we had was beautiful, Annalise. I would never destroy that.”
I place my hand on top of his, gently caressing it.
“Sorry for jumping to conclusions back then. I guess discovering my dad cheating on my mom fucked me up more than I thought. I was constantly worried that you would cheat in college, so when I saw Charlotte come out of your room, it was like my fears had come true.”
“I hate that you compared me to him in your mind,” he says softly.
“I was devastated when you believed Charlotte over me, but I understand why you did. Your father put you through hell, and that’s not something you heal from overnight.
” He takes a breath, chewing his lip. “I should have fought harder for us. For you. But I let my pride get in the way.”
“There was always a small part of me that believed you would never cheat,” I say, my eyes brimming with tears. “But I let the negative voices in my head overpower me. I was too weak to fight them.”
Maddox leans in, placing his forehead on mine. “I’ll do everything in my power to destroy those negative thoughts so you never feel that way again.” He places a kiss on my forehead and pulls me into a warm embrace.
My heart thuds loudly and a huge weight lifts off my shoulders as all the anger and hatred leaves my body. In its place is something I haven’t allowed myself to feel in years—love. I wait for the negative voices to tell me to pull away, but they’re silent.
Maddox tucks a stray tendril of hair behind my ear and locks his eyes with mine. “I love you, Annalise. I’ve never stopped loving you.”
The moment I hear those three little words from him again, the block of ice surrounding my heart completely melts away. I had convinced myself that I hated him. That I was better off without him. But that’s far from the truth.
I feel three words clawing at my throat, begging to be said, but I swallow them down. My heart is still fragile and I’m not quite ready to admit how I feel. But knowing he loves me? That alone is enough to ease some of my worries.
At my silence, he places my hand on his chest, letting me feel his racing heart against my palm.
“It’s always been you, Annalise. It will always be you.
No matter how much time passes, and no matter what happens between us, my heart will only ever be yours.
When you’re ready to take a chance on us again, I’ll be waiting, no matter how long it takes.
The stars aligned for our paths to cross again, and this time, I’m not letting you go. ”
Struggling to find the right words, I stand on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck, and press my lips to his. He kisses me back slowly and tenderly. Unlike our last kiss—which happened in the heat of the moment—this one feels different. It’s filled with promises and second chances.
Pulling away, I grab his hands and lift my eyes to his. “I want to give us a chance again, Maddox. But I don’t want to rush this. I want to take it slow.”
His face splits into a wide grin and I can feel the warmth of his joy radiating through the cove. “We can take it as slow as you want, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
Waves crash against the shore and stars twinkle in the sky above us as we walk along the beach, hand in hand. We spent hours in the cove sitting next to each other and talking, just like we did all those years ago.
“If you’re free next Saturday, would you, uh—wanna go on a, uh, date with me?” He rubs the back of his neck and gives me the same sheepish look as when he first asked me out seven years ago.
A playful smile tilts my lips. “I’d rather watch grass grow than go on a date with you.”
Maddox chuckles, shaking his head. “I’m still as persistent as I was when I was fifteen years old. No matter how many times you reject me, I’ll keep asking until you say yes.”
Giggling, I lean forward and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Saturday is perfect. But can we go somewhere discreet?”
“Oh, so you’re embarrassed to be seen around me? Got it.” Maddox purses his lips and nods.
“No, you idiot.” I laugh, knocking my shoulder against him. “You’re a world-famous NBA player now. People recognize you everywhere you go. I’m not ready to tell my friends and family about us yet. And Veronica said there would be consequences if I get—”
“I’m just messing with you, Annalise,” he says, a smirk sliding across his face. “I was already planning on taking you somewhere private for that very reason.”
Bringing my hand to his lips, he places a soft kiss on top of it. “Thank you for giving us another chance.”