Chapter 8
∞∞∞
Meryl
Finn”s car was clean inside, which I took as a good sign. Mine was usually a bit messy, but I would clean it up if I knew someone important was going to see it. Maybe he’d done that for me, or maybe it was always clean. Either way was good in my book. It was a short drive to the place I’d picked out and we chatted a bit on the way.
The restaurant was smaller and quiet. I liked the lighting in here and the wait was never very long. I tried to keep myself from fidgeting too much and Finn made a few dumb jokes that were exactly what I needed to relax a little. He put me at ease a little too easily.
By the time we sat down and ordered drinks, I wasn”t feeling nervous or anxious at all. This was Finn, I reminded myself. We”d been friendly for awhile.
“So why did your job send you to Durham?” I asked him. I’d been curious, but I had wanted to wait to ask until we were alone and face to face. The others would make too many jokes for me to get a real answer.
“I had a couple of options, but it seemed like the best one,” Finn admitted and I smiled. He’d made a good choice. I was happy he’d come here instead of somewhere else.
“For the babies,” I teased with a serious face. I couldn’t stop myself.
“Right,” he agreed with a grin, then added, “I also have family nearby and I like the weather here.”
“It’s a nice place. I’ve enjoyed it so far,” I told him earnestly. I sipped my drink as we waited for our food and studied his face. He smiled easily and his blue eyes were so expressive that they gave away his thoughts before he spoke. He was probably a lousy poker player. I wondered briefly if he and his friends played card games at all.
“What are Saz and Wade like in real life?” I asked him then, struck by a sudden insatiable interest.
“Pretty much the same. Saz is tall and quiet, moody. He doesn’t talk about it much, but he’s a teacher. It’s a tough job. Wade is a surfer boy and a ladies man, don’t let his sob stories fool you. He changes jobs too often for me to keep track, but you can ask him and see what his latest gig is,” Finn began.
“Yeah, that makes sense. I will. Does he actually have two dads?” I smiled, thinking of Wade’s online name, ‘MydadsRgay?’
“He has four dads, actually,” Finn laughed and I blinked at him in surprise. I’d assumed it was an inside joke or something.
“Really?” Maybe he was kidding. Nope. He was serious. Finn’s eyes shined with amusement as he took in my surprise.
“Yeah, his dads split up when he was a teenager and they’re both remarried now,” Finn explained. I was amazed. I wondered what it was like to have four dads? My first thought was that it would be awesome. I’d ask him soon. I figured it was a safe enough topic of conversation if he was making jokes like his screen name about it.
“How long have you known them?” I continued. I was so curious about them now. They were funny and very good teammates, but it was different to think of them as real people outside of the games we enjoyed together. I suddenly wanted to meet them both in person too.
“Most of my life. We went to school together. What about you? Do you have any friends that you grew up with?” Finn subtly shifted the subject back to me. It was a stark contrast to my ex, who loved to talk about himself. Another good sign.
“I have a couple of very close friends I’ve known for a long time, but we’re all doing our own thing right now. Life, you know. One of them is a new mom,” I told him. I missed them a lot and I made a mental note to put more effort into talking to them. I should initiate more.
“Yeah, that’s tough. She probably doesn’t have much free time,” Finn acknowledged.
“Or energy,” I agreed. I’d checked on her recently and it’d be awhile before Amy felt up to gaming again. My poor friend was too exhausted being a new mom for now.
“Do you want kids?” Finn asked me suddenly. His face was so serious and I realized my answer would be very important to him.
“I think so. With the right person, I mean,” I sputtered. Amy’s husband was amazing. I wanted someone who would help me the way he helped her.
“Yeah, I think so too. Not a million babies, of course, but I do want kids,” he agreed and something inside of me relaxed. I was glad we were on the same page and had gotten it out of the way so early.
Then our food finally arrived and we talked a little more while we enjoyed our meal. Finn seemed easy-going and considerate. I liked the smiles he gave me and how he listened to me so intently.
“You really haven’t been on a date in over a year?” he asked me after we were done eating and were just finishing our drinks while we talked.
“Yeah, really. I got hurt and figured a break was a good idea. I didn’t intend for it to be so long,” I explained with a huff. It had just happened. I’d retreated from being vulnerable with anyone and then fell into a sort of rut, stuck in my routine and enjoying my solitude. Until recently.
“But you said yes to tonight,” Finn pressed. He leaned forward and smiled at me again and I melted.
“I did. It’s good timing,” I told him softly. His blue eyes held my gaze and lingered there.
“I’m glad,” he murmured. He leaned forward more and my stomach swirled with nerves again. I wanted to kiss him, but I was nervous.
“When was your last date?” I asked him instead.
“A few months ago,” he waved it off like it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t but I was curious all the same.
“Didn’t work out, I guess?” I teased.
“It did, actually. We’re engaged,” he sighed dramatically and leaned back into his chair again.
“Congratulations,” I grinned at him.
“She was awful,” he muttered low and frowned.
“Awful how?”
“It was a first date. We matched on an app. She was on her phone a lot and she was so rude to the waiter,” Finn explained exasperatedly and I nodded. I’d had a few of those dates myself awhile back. Forever ago.
“That is awful,” I agreed solemnly.
“It happens. Some people suck,” he shrugged.
“Some people suck,” I echoed and held up my drink so we could cheers. Finn laughed and joined me. I liked the sound of his laugh. It was natural and light, like he wasn”t holding back.
The check came and Finn grabbed the bill to pay for dinner before I could protest much. I preferred to split the expenses on a first date. That way if it didn’t lead to anything, then at least the person didn’t feel like I used them for a free meal. This wasn’t the case here though, so I let it go easier than I would’ve if it was someone else.
He put one hand on my lower back as we walked outside and I leaned into it. Finn was a little too good to be true. I was cautiously optimistic. The ride back went by too fast and there was a pause between us when he finally parked at my building.
“Walk me in?” I offered. I brushed my hair out of my brown eyes and looked at him hopefully.
“I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I didn’t,” he claimed with a wink. I rolled my eyes.
We were quiet in the elevator, but the air between us felt heavy with anticipation. My mind was racing and I was over thinking everything. Finn reached out and grabbed my hand when the elevator doors opened to my floor and we stepped out together. My palm felt hot where his skin touched mine.
Then we were in front of my door all too soon.
“I had a great time tonight,” Finn said sincerely. He faced me and pulled me closer to him by our joined hands.
“I think I like you,” I muttered sourly like it was bad news. Maybe it was. I was okay with that. I frowned up at him playfully and he dropped my hand to put both of his arms around my waist.
“Like me enough to kiss me?” he whispered as he brought his face in close to mine. Whatever cologne he was wearing tonight, I wanted to drown in it.
“At least once,” I teased against his lips. His breath mingled with mine for half of a second before our lips met.
Finn kissed me slow and tenderly. His lips were so soft against mine, each caress was like a gasp of air after being underwater for too long. I couldn’t get enough of him. Something stirred within me that I hadn’t felt in too long.
I pressed myself closer to him, arching my back and pressing my breasts into his chest. He buried one hand in my hair and the other held me tight against him as our kisses quickly spiralled into a desperate passion.
Finn stepped forward more, trapping me against the door. Hard muscle and heat surrounded me. Then both of his hands moved to lift me and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
I cursed the black tights I’d worn tonight when those hands moved beneath my dress to rest under my ass. There was too much fabric between us. Finn scraped his teeth along the side of my neck and I moaned low in my throat.
A low whine from the other side of the door made me blink, my hands relaxed from where I’d been gripping Finn’s shoulders. Poptart. He kissed me again, devouring and claiming, but I pulled back to look up at Finn from under my dark lashes. He leaned his forehead against mine, breathing hard.
Finn”s chest rose and fell against me, still pressing me tight against the door at my back with my legs around his waist and his hands gripping my cheeks under my dress.
“Meryl?”
The sudden voice to my left broke through the last of the pleasant haze in my mind and ruined whatever I was about to say. I turned my head and saw Aiden standing in the hallway. I frowned at him as Finn slowly let my legs slide down his body so I could stand on my own again. I smoothed my dress down with my hands as Aiden quickly approached. He wasn’t supposed to be here!
My face was still flushed, I could feel it. This was so embarrassing.
“Are you back from your trip?” I mumbled almost incoherently.
“I uh- I had to get something. I’m not officially back yet,” Aiden muttered but he never met my eyes.
He glanced back and forth between Finn and I with obvious jealousy on his face. So he had meant it as a date when he’d suggested dinner before he left. I wanted to roll my eyes at him and his petty jealousy. I was so frustrated at my only date in years being interrupted by him like this. My embarrassment turned to irritation.
He had no reason to be so surly. I hadn’t said yes, and I’d already turned him down in the past. I’d been hoping that was behind us, but it was clear now I’d have to talk to him about it again firmly when he did eventually pick up Poptart. Hopefully not too soon. I really liked having her with me so far.
I tapped my foot and stared at him expectantly, wanting him to leave, but Aiden hovered and kept up his angry swiveling glances.
“Well,” Finn coughed and cleared his throat to break the tense silence.
“I’m sorry. Finn, this is my neighbor Aiden. Aiden, Finn,” I waved between them halfheartedly.
“Weren’t you in a hurry?” Finn asked him bluntly.I smiled inside. His meaning was clear enough for even Aiden to get the real message. Leave. Aiden stiffened and scowled, but nodded slowly.
“I’ll see you soon,” Aiden told me grimly, completely ignored Finn, and shuffled ever so slowly down the hall and back to his door. I huffed under my breath when he fidgeted with his keys for far too long, but then he was gone. Finally.
“I’m so sorry about that,” I told Finn sincerely. I leaned into him again and he bent down to kiss me tenderly. I closed my eyes and melted into him, but the moment was gone. It felt completely different now and I was too self-conscious. The whirlwind of his hands on my body had simmered down to only remnants.
“It’s okay,” he assured as he pulled away and Poptart whined again from where she was still stuck inside of my apartment.
“I should probably go,” he added awkwardly and I nodded dumbly. He kissed me once more, gave me a lingering and heated look, then he waited until I was inside before he turned away. I patted Poptart comfortingly and listened to his footsteps in the hall as they got further away. I sighed tiredly, but smiled to myself. It had gone well. Well, until now. What a night.
∞∞∞
Meryl
I thought about Finn all the next morning as I absently moved about my apartment. He was such a good kisser and I wished Aiden hadn’t interrupted us. We would’ve continued inside my apartment for sure, though I didn’t know if I would have slept with him last night. Maybe? I was into him and the attraction was strong between us.
I’d been pretty close to tearing my own clothes off there in the hallway. It was a good thing we hadn’t, it’d been embarrassing enough to get caught making out against the door like teenagers.
Sex on a first date was a bold move, but it’d been a long time since anyone had touched me. I needed it bad, but our date had gone so well that it could be a long-term thing. Maybe I should slow it down? I scrunched my nose up at the thought. I didn’t want to take it slow with him. And why should I?
Would it be so bad to jump into bed this early? I couldn’t decide how soon might be too soon. I argued with myself about it internally for awhile before settling on just figuring it out in the moment. If it felt right and we were both into it, then what was the harm?
I stared hard at my phone and tried to decide if I should text him. I had today and tomorrow off from work, but then I’d be busy all week after that. What should I say? I wanted to see him again, but if I said that would I come off as too needy? Too desperate?
I opened my contacts and called my mom instead.
“Morning, Mer. Everything okay?” she answered after a couple of rings. I hoped I hadn’t caught her at a bad time. Maybe I shouldn’t have called. I wasn’t feeling like myself this morning at all and the self-doubt caught me off guard. It wasn”t like me to be this self-conscious.
“Yeah, of course. How are you?” I began casually.
“I’m good. Your father is outside gardening and I’m finishing up the laundry. What are you doing today?” she asked and I pictured her with her phone balanced in one hand and a basket of clothes in the other. I could almost see her laundry room in my mind. A pang of homesickness throbbed deep inside of my heart.
“I’m off of work, so not much. You know me,” I shrugged. I wanted to talk to her about Finn, but I also didn’t at the same time. I was torn between needing advice and not wanting to answer a million awkward questions. It was good to hear her voice, though. I already felt calmer.
“I do know you, so lots of games then? Be sure to take breaks, I worry about your eyesight going bad from all of that computer time,” she guessed.
“I know Mom, I will. My eyes are fine,” I reassured her with a sigh. Normally she was right, but I was hoping to see Finn again today. It was too soon though. So maybe not.
“Anything new?” she prompted and I bit my lip a little as I considered how much to say.
“I went on a date last night. It went well. I like him,” I confessed quickly. There was a pause before she answered.
“That is new. How did you meet? What’s his name?” Mom asked slowly. I could tell she was surprised and also holding back even more questions.
“Finn. We’ve been playing games online together for awhile and he just moved here. He’s really great, like too great maybe,” I groaned and flopped down onto my bed.
“Sounds promising,” she said and I agreed.
“I think so. So far he is not only good to me, but I think he’ll be good for me,” I said. I meant it too. Finn and I were going to workout together and explore the city. Spending time with him would only help me with the goals I’d already set for myself. We’d probably play games together and eat pizza on the couch too, but that was okay. I needed those days sometimes. Just not too often to be harmful.
“A good influence? That’s a nice change of pace for you,” my mom laughed a little.
“Moooom,” I whined. She was making me feel like a child. It was what she did best nowadays.
“I’m only teasing. Good for you, kid. I’m glad you’re getting back out there,” she encouraged and I sighed.
“It feels right. The timing is good,” I added a little reluctantly.
“It’s only been one date though?” Mom asked me.
“Yeah, but I can tell. I just know,” I said confidently. I”d heard that before as a reason people sometimes gave when a relationship seemed to get too serious too fast: when you know, you know. It sounded less like bullshit this morning.
Then my phone vibrated and I switched it to speaker phone so I could check my messages while I kept talking to my mom.
‘Want to grab some coffee?’ Finn had sent.
‘Yeah, give me fifteen minutes?’ I sent back. I needed to change and brush my hair.
‘I’ll pick you up,’ he offered.
‘K,’ I replied quickly.
“I should go, I’m going to grab coffee with him now,” I told my mom. I tried to keep the nervous excitement out of voice.
“Alright, dear. Take care of yourself, and trust your gut,” she advised. I could tell she was a little worried for me, so I made a mental note to text her later about how it went.
“I will. Love you,” I said distractedly as I hurried to the closet. I should have told him thirty minutes instead of fifteen. What was I thinking?
“Love you too,” she said before we hung up. I had a flash of guilt for calling and then rushing her off of the phone, but I’d call her again soon. I sent her a quick ‘sorry, love you very much’ text anyway to make myself feel better.
I didn’t have a ton of time, so I didn’t let myself try on a bunch of clothes. I just grabbed an outfit and headed to the bathroom. I pulled a long sleeve shirt over my head and traded my sweatpants for a knee-length skirt. Then I swirled some mouthwash in my mouth while I brushed my hair. I spit it out, made a face at the after taste, then grabbed my phone and headed to the door. I was ready in record time, and without coffee breath.
I was more than a little proud of myself. Hopefully I could pull my scattered thoughts together enough to actually hold a conversation. The coffee would help. And if it didn”t? I”d just kiss him again.