Chapter 15
∞∞∞
Meryl
I kept Finn close to me for the next couple of days. I’d never felt so lost or so vulnerable. Only a month ago, my world had been so small and I’d been so isolated. The thought of what could have happened if Aiden had attacked me before I’d met Finn was terrifying. I did my best to push those thoughts away, but when they popped into my head, I found it hard to breathe.
There were still a lot of things I had to do to make sure he couldn’t try to hurt me again. The court dates, appearances, testimonies, and the unending piles of paperwork were overwhelming. Even with a lot of evidence against him, it was a long and tiring process to make sure Aiden was convicted. He”d been stalking and watching me for months. It was easier not to think about it.
In the end though, I was granted the restraining order and he was locked up for a long time. Long enough for me to breathe easier and to sleep better. When I could sleep anyway.
My arm still hurt and I felt like I had become a completely different person overnight. My ribs were slow to heal and I took all the time off of work that I possibly could. I’d thought of myself as fiercely independent before it all, a loner but a strong one at least.
Now I was plagued with separation anxiety, nightmares, and I felt far too needy. I’d been trying to make positive changes, but I’d moved backward. Really far backward. It was overwhelming but Finn was supportive and sweet throughout.
The poor man had fallen for one Meryl and now he was saddled with a pathetic downgraded version of her. Everything felt impossible to me.
Finn had to put a ‘do not knock’ sign on his door, because just the sound of someone knocking sent me into a panic. I spent the first week in his apartment hiding from the world and eating takeout on the couch with PT.
I distracted myself from it most successfully by memorizing the feel of Finn. His skin, his face, his smell. I took refuge in him over and over as we collided, tangled limbs numb from the pleasure. He was safe and I loved every second of it. I lost myself in the security of him until I slowly put my fragile pieces back together.
I didn’t know where to go from here, or what to do. But I knew I wanted him. I needed him. I was grateful for every soft glance and gentle touch. There was no way I could have navigated the aftermath on my own, not without falling apart and losing myself in the process. Finn kept me grounded and safe.
“I don”t want to go back to my apartment,” I’d confessed to him one night while laying together in the dark.
“So don’t,” he”d encouraged me immediately. I trusted him to tell me if he needed space or this all became too much for him to handle.
“Oh Finn,” I sighed and stroked the line of his jaw with my index finger as he sat up in bed to look over at me.
“We can figure it out when you”re ready,” he said, propped up on one elbow and looking far too gorgeous than ought to be allowed.
“Yeah,” I agreed half-heartedly. It was hard to say when that might be. Could I just hide here in his aprtment forever? How long was too long?
“You don’t have to go back there if you don’t want to. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. I like having you here, though,” he told me softly. His blue eyes were warm as he gazed at me affectionately and I believed him.
“We could find you a new place? A safe place,” he offered with a frown and I smiled.
“You are my safe place,” I whispered and he kissed my hand where it still rested against the stubble of his face.
He’d shown me who he was. Fiercely protective, charmingly affectionate, an unwavering caretaker, but most importantly someone who had my back. A teammate I could count on. I wasn’t going to screw this up, not this time. Finn deserved better, so I would get better. Over time. So I stayed.
Finn setup my computer for me. It sat right next to his. Playing with the guys again helped me to feel more like my normal self, and joking with them made my heart lighter.
“I’ve got you,” Finn yelled as one of our games became more intense and he had to put heals on us all to keep us alive.
And he did. He had me and I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.