CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“This is your official welcome to the rainbow side!” Tanner shouted later that evening as Jesse shot confetti out of a cannon.
A shower of brightly colored paper rained down over Luke Crawford and Sebastian Breckon. Scowling, Luke shook his head, a sprinkle of confetti falling onto the floor of O’Neill’s Pub.
Tanner and Jesse had spent all afternoon and evening prepping for this and it was every bit as good as Tanner had hoped.
“I thought this was a fucking meeting about how to help Brie?” Luke grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It is,” Jesse said cheerfully. “We just wanted to also throw you a coming-out party. And a ‘welcome to the SAPs’ party for Sebastian.”
“Thanks,” Sebastian said with a laugh, tilting his head and shaking it, confetti fluttering to the floor below. “I feel very … welcomed.”
“Oh, that reminds me, I need to add you to the SAPs app,” Jesse said, taking his arm and guiding him off to one side.
Tanner made a beeline for Luke. “I’m still mad that you didn’t tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“Uhh, any of it,” Tanner said. “Being into dudes. Dating Vintage Jersey Guy.”
Crawford opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but Graham and Connor appeared.
“Sorry,” Connor said with a grimace. “I tried to rein them in but … you know what they’re like.”
Tanner sputtered. “Dude!”
“I know.” Crawford sighed. “They’re both menaces.”
“I am not!” Tanner protested.
Crawford gave him a skeptical look.
“You could have talked to me,” Graham said. “If you were conflicted about your feelings or—”
“I wasn’t conflicted,” Crawford said. “I like who I like and if anyone has a problem, they can fuck off about it.”
“Fair enough,” Graham said with a laugh. “You just surprised the hell out of everyone.”
Crawford glanced over at Jesse and Sebastian. “I surprised myself.”
Across the bar, Sebastian smiled at him and the corner of Luke’s mouth lifted.
Holy shit, Tanner thought. They really are fucking crazy about each other.
This was so wild.
“I still can’t believe you’re a rainbow bro,” Tanner said with a sigh. “Rainbro? Oh fuck yes. I just had the best idea. I am making us all T-shirts that say Rainbro and we’re wearing them in the Pride Parade this year.”
Luke groaned. “I’m not fucking wearing a Rainbro shirt. Or marching in the parade. I’m gonna be out of town that weekend.”
“You don’t even know what weekend Pride is, I’ll bet,” Tanner said with a laugh.
“Nope. Still gonna be gone then.”
“Ugh, you are no fun.” Tanner glanced over at Sebastian and narrowed his eyes. “I bet I can get your boyfriend on board. He seems fun.”
Crawford let out an annoyed huff as Tanner walked toward Sebastian and Jesse. As he got closer, he could hear Sebastian say, “I fucking hated the guy when we first started hooking up.”
Jesse laughed. “So that part wasn’t a cover?”
“God no. But he’s … there’s a lot more to him than most people see,” Sebastian admitted.
“I believe that.”
“So how is he in bed?” Tanner asked as he joined them. “I kinda don’t want to think about it too much because he’s totally like a brother to me but um, I’m also kinda dying to know.”
Sebastian chuckled. “Well, Luke’s pretty private, so I won’t go into details, but let’s just say, he’s pretty much like you’d expect. Gruff and growly and … intense. But like Jesse said, there’s more to him than you’d think.”
“Big dick. Got it.” Tanner nodded. “Thought he’d be a grower.”
Crawford was naked in the locker room all the time. Of course Tanner had snuck peeks. He’d never seemed that impressive soft but Tanner wasn’t surprised that he was packing something there.
Sebastian released a startled laugh. “Uhh, that wasn’t quite what I meant.”
“Am I wrong?” Tanner arched an eyebrow at him.
Sebastian shrugged. “I’m not saying that …”
“Okay, okay!” Connor’s voice rose over the crowd. “That’s enough harassing Luke and Sebastian. Everyone, grab a drink, grab some food, and let’s get down to business.”
Tanner’s mind wandered as Connor talked about what Brie and Harper needed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help, of course he did, but his brain was kinda whirling with everything going on.
He still couldn’t believe that Luke was dating Sebastian.
Fucking wild. Hell, he could barely wrap his brain around the idea that Crawford was queer. He had the most straight-dude energy of anyone Tanner had ever met.
He’d been fucking terrified to be paired with the dude at first, half convinced Crawford would deck him for saying the wrong thing. And sure, it hadn’t taken him long to realize that his bark was worse than his bite. But still.
The worst part was, he couldn’t even talk to Leif about it.
Crawford had said he didn’t have any plans to come out to the world and Sebastian seemed fine with that. Which meant that the only people who could know were the ones in the room now. So annoying.
Speaking of Leif … Tanner slid his phone out of his pocket to see if he had any messages from him. He’d been weirdly quiet all day.
Tanner had wondered if he’d been pissed about him canceling. Leif had said he wasn’t but after Tanner asked him what he liked to do with friends, he’d just disappeared.
And it was making Tanner wonder if Leif actually had many close friends. He didn’t really talk about hanging out with anyone.
Sure, he went out to team dinners and launch parties and shit. But that wasn’t the same as having friends.
As far as Tanner knew, Leif didn’t game with his roomies like Tanner did with Mickey and Rafe. He didn’t go out to dinner with Jesse and gossip about the team. He seemed happy enough and obviously there were people on the Harriers like Crawford who were kinda loners or whatever.
Then again, Tanner thought as he looked over at Sebastian, who was smiling at his boyfriend, even Crawford isn’t a total loner after all.
So why had Leif gone totally silent?
Tanner caught a glimpse of Mickey scowling at him, and he slipped his phone into his pocket and tuned back in to what Catherine was saying.
“ … organizing meals. If you want to make something, please let me know. If you think of any other ways you’d like to contribute, don’t hesitate to suggest them.”
“Umm,” Tanner said to Mickey when everyone was done talking. “So what did I miss?”
Mickey sighed but rattled off some things that had been suggested.
Tanner wasn’t handy, so he couldn’t help with any of the things they were planning to do to fix up the house Harper and Brie lived in.
He couldn’t cook, so making meals was out of the question, although he did chip in some money for a grocery fund.
But one of them was to hang out with Harper while she was resting and recovering and Tanner jumped on that one. Perfect. Entertain a little kid? Yeah, he was great at that.
He also texted his mom to see if she had any of his sisters’ things that she wanted to get rid of. She responded, promising to pull together some items and drop them off to him, and he thanked her.
After that, he grabbed another drink, hung out with the team for a while, then snuck out.
On the sidewalk, he wandered to where he could get a decent signal, requested a ride, then pulled up his texts with Leif.
U sure ur not mad at me?? he sent.
Leif responded a few minutes later. No. Why would I be mad?
U nvr texted back!
Can we talk about this later on the phone?
OMW home now, Tanner promised. His ride was only two minutes out.
Call whenever you get there.
“You’re really not mad?” Tanner asked after the call connected. He stripped out of his clothes, tugged on his most comfy pajamas, then settled on the bed.
“No,” Leif said, looking confused. “Seriously. Why would I be mad at you?”
“You totally disappeared after I cancelled on you.”
“Technically, I disappeared after you asked what I did with friends for fun.”
Tanner sighed. “You know what I mean.”
“Do I?”
“Leif,” Tanner said because he was kinda going crazy here. “I’m being serious.”
Leif sighed. “Look, it wasn’t about you. I was at the practice facility and one of the guys on the team sat down to talk to me. That’s all.”
“For twelve hours?” Tanner scoffed.
“It hasn’t been twelve hours. It’s been eight hours, max, and I spent over an hour of that in traffic on the way back from Westchester and took a shower and got ready for tomorrow.”
“Well, it felt like twelve,” Tanner pointed out.
“You are so dramatic.”
“Leif!”
Leif rolled his eyes. “Tanner. I was talking to a teammate. He apologized for not sticking up for me in the locker room the other day.”
Tanner frowned. “Wasn’t that a couple of weeks ago? Or did something else happen after that?”
“It was a couple of weeks ago. I guess he’s been feeling bad about it lately. He wanted to apologize and he promised to do better.”
“Oh, that was nice of him. I still don’t see how it took twelve hours.”
“It was less than eight! And he invited me to his place to talk,” Leif said with a shrug. “He lives near the arena and wanted privacy for our conversation.”
“How come?”
“Because he’s also queer and didn’t want to discuss that around some of our teammates.”
“Ohhh. He’s not out though?”
“Not really? I mean, his friends and family know. He just hasn’t really dated anyone because he’s hung up on some guy he’s known for years.”
“Ooh, juicy,” Tanner said. “Tell me more.”
“I think I’ve already told you too much.”
“Leif!”
Leif grinned. “Look, I am not going to tell you more about his personal life or who he is. All I’m going to say is that we hung out, took his dog for a walk, and—”
“Ooh, dog tax. Dog tax!” Tanner said excitedly.
“What are you talking about?”
“Show. Me. The. Dog.”
“Oh. Why didn’t you just say that? I did take a few pictures of Emmie actually. Hang on.”
The phone tilted and Tanner got a sudden, up-the-nose, highly unflattering view of Leif. It was nice that he didn’t aways look perfect. “There. I texted them.”
“Cool.” Tanner grabbed his phone and probably gave Leif an equally terrible view of himself as he flipped through the pictures. “Aww, she’s a cuuuutie.” He squinted at the screen then flipped back to Leif. “Wait, is that Ian Salter’s dog?”
“What the fuck?” Leif said. “How the fuck would you know that? Did you sleep with him too?”
Tanner laughed. “Oh my God, no. I hardly know him, except when we play against you guys.”
“Since when has not knowing someone ever stopped you?”
Tanner stuck out his tongue. “Salter has a social media account for Emmie, right? I’m pretty sure I follow it.”
“Oh damn it,” Leif muttered. “I didn’t think about that.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
“Won’t you?”
“If the guy’s not out, he’s not out. I’m not gonna fuck that up for him,” Tanner assured him. “Anyway, so you hung out with him and his cute dog today?”
“Yeah.” Leif settled back against the headboard. “We walked the dog, had dinner, watched some basketball …”
“Since when do you watch basketball?” Tanner asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Since tonight, I guess? I don’t know. It was fun. It’s not hockey and the squeaky shoe and ball noises are annoying as fuck, but …”
Tanner narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure Salter wasn’t trying to date you? Cause that all sounds pretty cozy to me.”
Leif snorted. “No.”
Tanner scowled. “No, you’re not sure?”
“I am sure you’re crazy. Salty isn’t trying to date me.” Leif scoffed at the idea. “We just hung out. That’s all. Why do you care anyway? We were both going to keep seeing other people.”
Tanner opened his mouth, then closed it. “Uhh, you’re right, I did.”
Neither of them had slept with anyone else lately but they totally could. No one had ever accused Tanner of being clingy before, but maybe he was acting that way now.
Leif had always been different from everyone else he’d been with. Always.
So maybe Tanner was the one being weird right now.
“Sorry,” Tanner added in a small voice. “I won’t … it’s cool. You can totally do whatever you like.”
“Oh.” Leif frowned. “Yeah, okay.”
“I mean, it’s not like we’re together or anything,” Tanner said with a laugh though nothing felt very funny. “Right?”
“Right.” Leif glanced away.
“Oh, dude, speaking of together, you’re not going to believe this,” Tanner said before he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to say anything about Crawford and Vintage Jersey Guy. Fuck!
“Believe what?” Leif asked with a frown.
“So weirdly enough, one of my teammates came out today too,” Tanner said. “I can’t say which one, but my mind is totally blown.”
“Yeah?” Leif asked.
“Yeah. I am being so good and not outing them,” Tanner said. “But we met his boyfriend tonight and I so wish I could tell you who he is.”
“Look,” Leif said abruptly. “I think—it’s getting late. I should wrap this up.”
“Oh.” Tanner frowned. “You don’t want to get off tonight?”
“Not tonight,” Leif said. “I don’t feel great.”
“Aww, I’m sorry, Princess.” Tanner frowned at him.
“It’s fine. Just been a long, weird day.”
“You had fun hanging out with Salter though?”
“Yeah. We sit together on the plane and stuff, but it was nice getting to know him better one-on-one.”
“Good,” Tanner said. “You should have more queer friends on your team.”
Leif gave him a faint smile.
“Talk tomorrow?” Tanner asked hopefully.
“Probably not. We’ve got a game and it’s the start of a back-to-back for us.”
“Ugh.” Tanner made a face. “Well, you’re gonna be in Boston again soon, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Leif said.
“So that’s something.”
“It’s something,” Leif agreed although his face looked weird. Not the sour-lemon face. Just sort of … sad.
Tanner wanted to say something to make him smile but he wasn’t sure what would do it. “Well, good night,” he said instead.
“Night.” Leif gave him a tight little smile and then he was gone.