Chapter 2 Selene #4
The Delta Psi house was less like a frat and more like a sacred temple for athletes at school.
It was near the basketball facility on campus, and a lot of players were brothers, so it was a popular hangout spot for the sporty crowd.
No one was allowed inside without express permission from a brother, and their parties were legendary.
I had often heard about it but had never seen it in person.
Girls were always angling for an invite, but I’d never been particularly drawn to the place, only mildly curious.
“Oh my God! I can finally see my Tyler again!” Bailey clapped her hands in joy as I rolled my eyes.
“You haven’t stopped creeping on his Instagram, have you?
” Janel asked, taking on a stern tone while Bailey bit her lip awkwardly, making the answer obvious.
“Jesus, Bailey! When are you going to give it up? That guy just used you, plus he’s totally up his own ass and has zero respect for women.
Move on already!” she lectured Bailey sternly, and Alyssa giggled, drawing my attention back to her.
I was happy to see that she seemed more peaceful, but that feeling of relief vanished almost immediately, obliterated by the memory of what Neil had done to upset her in the first place.
I kept going back and forth between trying not to think about it at all and vividly imagining their kiss.
“All I said was that I’d see him at the party,” Bailey said defensively, distracting me from my miserable thoughts.
“For you, ‘seeing him’ means ‘drooling over him again.’ But you’re just holding me up here; let’s go,” Janel said impatiently as she walked over to the door and grabbed her coat, which she quickly shrugged on.
“Text me when you get there,” I called out to my friends without getting up from the sofa.
“Yeah, okay, Mom,” Janel teased. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.
Pick you up at eight,” she decreed, not even giving me a chance to argue.
She waved goodbye to both Alyssa and me before opening the door to leave.
Bailey dashed back to give both of us a kiss on the cheek, proving again that she was the sweet one.
“Move your butt!” Janel yelled, and Bailey obeyed her, cursing under her breath.
“Your friends are awesome,” Alyssa said.
“Yeah. I’m really fortunate to have found them,” I answered before getting up and looking around for her bag, which I found sitting on the floor. “I’ll show you the guest room. You can get yourself settled in there, and then we can have dinner,” I informed her, picking up the bag.
“Actually, I think I’ll just take a shower and go to bed.
I’m kind of wiped out,” she answered uneasily.
All at once, the atmosphere was unbearably awkward.
Usually, Alyssa and I laughed and joked together, but, just then, we both seemed to be struggling.
Her eyes constantly avoided mine, and there was an uncontrollable hint of chill in my voice.
I was upset. And I didn’t know whether it was because of the insane thing Neil had done or because Alyssa had told me about it and cratered my mood.
I tried to stifle yet another irrational idea.
I had to quit it with the doubts: My friend told me the truth. She wanted to warn me about that walking disaster and make sure I knew not to trust him. It was unfair for me to be angry with her for doing me a favor. Even if it did hurt.
“Selene, I… I’m so sorry about all of this.
I know how much you care about him,” Alyssa said in a weak voice as she followed me down the hallway.
All the self-assurance she typically displayed had deserted her and left just the fragile, sensitive part of her behind.
I sighed as I opened the guest room door, hesitating for a few moments before I answered her.
I wanted to not speak rashly and wind up venting all my inner turmoil on her.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I admitted simply.
Alyssa seemed to understand my need to push that conversation off to another time and walked into the guest room, glancing around.
“All the essentials are in here. Make yourself at home.” I turned to leave, but she called me back.
“Selene…” She stared at me, looking like she might burst into tears again. I waited motionless in the doorway. “I hope you’re not angry with me.” She dropped her gaze as she took a seat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her palms against her pants.
I considered the statement for a few moments. Could I really be angry at her for telling me the truth?
It hurt to think of Neil wanting her, wanting her so much that he’d go against his brother that way, but I couldn’t take that hurt out on her.
Alyssa wasn’t the one at fault.
“No, I’m not mad. If you need anything, I’m just over there.” I jerked my thumb toward the living room and shut her door, more than ready to be alone.
* * *
An hour later, I was sitting out on the porch steps in the cold.
I’d taken a shower and gotten into my pajamas before draping a blanket over my shoulders and heading outside. Even I couldn’t say why I was sitting there, staring up into the dark sky speckled with the occasional bright star.
Alyssa hadn’t come out of her room, and I’d also tried to lie down in bed to no avail. I’d even put in my earbuds and listened to some Coldplay songs in a desperate attempt to wind down, but even that hadn’t made me feel the slightest bit better.
Sighing, I shut one eye and held up my index finger to do something silly I used to do when I was a kid: trace imaginary lines between the stars to see if I could uncover some hidden symbol or letter there.
I drew a line between four points, four luminous stars, and the letter that emerged was an…N.
I froze with my arm suspended in midair, grimacing as I continued to stare up at the stars over my head where the giant N loomed.
What the hell?
“Perfect,” I groused, lowering my arm. “Now you’re showing up in the sky as well?” I muttered, as though I were actually talking to Neil.
No matter where he actually was, I always felt like he was somewhere nearby. Or maybe that was just my brain conjuring up unreal visions. Maybe I was just losing my mind. “I’m the hopeless case,” I muttered to myself, trying to think of some way out of this insane situation.
It was clear, however, that there was no real solution except to fully detox from the man.
Neil had infected me with his golden eyes, his domineering personality, and his sly smile, and there was probably no fix for a problem that size.
I rubbed my forehead with one hand, feeling my scar from the accident under my fingers. I sighed heavily.
I wanted Neil to get out of my head. I wanted to forget all about him and about what Alyssa had told me, but that human disaster continued to occupy all my thoughts.
He simply refused to leave.
“What symbol did you find?” I gasped at the sound of my mother’s voice.
She stood in front of me with Anton Coleman at her side.
She observed me with her usual affectionate expression—she knew me well enough to know exactly what I had been doing—while Anton frowned.
He was probably wondering what I was doing sitting out on the porch in the cold in a pair of pink pajamas at least two sizes too big and a yellow comforter around my shoulders.
“I found a letter. Doesn’t matter which one…
” I answered flatly, waving my hand. Mom didn’t like Neil, or, rather, she didn’t trust him, and so I tried not to bring him up with her.
She would undoubtedly have forbidden me to see him if she found out all the things I’d gone out of my way not to tell her.
“Hi, Selene.” Anton smiled at me and pulled back the arm that he’d had wrapped around my mother’s waist. It was a quick, hesitant movement, like he was afraid of how I might react.
I’d known for a while that they were seeing each other, though my mother hadn’t made anything official. She kept telling me they were just getting to know each other, so I didn’t push her too much on it.
Though I’d felt otherwise when she’d first told me about him, I was becoming less enthusiastic now that they were actually starting a relationship.
I felt like I’d already lost Matt, and I was afraid I was about to lose my mother as well.
I was afraid that Anton—or some other guy—might take her away from me, and I felt like I couldn’t let that happen.
She was all that I had left. Without her, I was alone.
That was why I’d stopped asking her questions about her love life—I wasn’t sure I really wanted to hear the answers.
“Hi, Anton,” I said, smiling politely at him. His gray eyes dipped down to examine my clothing, and he lingered on my fuzzy slippers that Neil thought were so hideous, along with the rest of my wardrobe.
“Cute slippers,” he noted in a dry way that made me blush. If I had thought it at all likely that I was going to run into my mother and her friend, I would have tried harder not to look like a twelve-year-old with her first broken heart.
“Thanks,” I answered, clearing my throat. He was obviously trying to make a good impression upon me, but since I admitted to myself that I was still possessive of my mother, no amount of charm from Anton was going to banish my fears of losing her.
“You should probably head out,” my mother told him, looping her purse over one shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the university,” she added with a little smile.
He moved toward her confidently, putting his hand on her hip and tilting his head like he was about to kiss her. In an instant, I was frozen, fearing the worst. I relaxed, though, when Anton pressed a brief kiss to her cheek and said simply, “Okay. See you tomorrow, Judith.”