Chapter 8 Selene #6
“And you were with him too?” Xavier asked Alexia with the same look of dismay that I wore.
Apparently he, too, was not aware that the three of them had spent a night together.
When Alexia didn’t answer him and just lowered her eyes, Xavier stood up and hurled his glass to the floor.
“Guess you haven’t stopped slutting around then!
” he shouted at her, and in a flash, Luke was up and in between them, putting a hand on Xavier’s chest to settle him down.
“Xavier, take a walk, man,” he told him quietly.
“Go fuck yourselves, you assholes!” he lashed out at them, and then he left in a huff, vanishing into the crowd.
I’d known for a while that the men of the Krew liked to share women, especially Jennifer and Alexia, but Xavier had reacted with real jealousy.
I probably should have been storming out like him, but instead my body remained motionless, frozen by the misery that spread all throughout me.
I was afraid that if I tried to stand up, my legs wouldn’t have held me.
“Are you okay, Selene?” Luke asked in concern, and it was then that something inside me shifted.
I stood up and took in a deep breath, trying not to cry, trying not to give in to the weakness of emotions.
Though I didn’t show it as openly, I could completely understand what Xavier was going through.
I had pinned a lot of my hopes on Neil. I had given him every part of me, and I knew that if he continued to withhold his soul from me, it would destroy me.
Neil stepped toward me as though sensing that I intended to leave, but I ignored him.
Then I turned my back on him and his little band of maniacs.
“Selene!” he called after me, but I didn’t care. In that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was get away from him, spend the rest of the night in a hotel, and in the morning go home. Back to Detroit. I plowed angrily through the crowd, pushing people aside in my attempt to get to an exit.
I had put up with enough of his indifference, callousness, and cruelty for one night.
How could he act like that? How could he ask me to come spend time with him in New York and then be so completely dismissive?
I walked out of the club and pulled my coat around me to shield me from the cold.
I was a mess, but I needed to stand up for myself and get out of there.
But how? I’d have to take a taxi.
I walked over to the curb and leaned into the street in the hopes of seeing a passing cab that I might hail, but several minutes went by with no sign of one.
“Babydoll, you don’t wanna hang out here for too long.”
I whirled around with a gasp, only to find Xavier standing there. I looked him right in the eye, wary.
His cold stare now appeared to be hiding a silent pain that he worked hard to suppress. Was he actually in love with Alexia? I recalled how she had tried several times to get closer to him while he had turned his attention to other women.
Maybe she’d gotten sick of it? Had she turned the tables on him?
That still didn’t excuse her sleeping with Neil, though. On the contrary, I was beginning to hate her as much as I did Jennifer.
“I’m about to leave right now.” I made to turn away from him, but Xavier kept talking.
“We both have good reason to get out of here. I’ll give you a lift, if you want.
” He threw the cigarette he’d been smoking onto the pavement as he waited for my answer.
I stared at the piercing that stood out starkly against his lower lip and the other one in his eyebrow before looking him up and down.
He was definitely not the kind of guy who screamed “safety.”
He was the worst of the Krew; I knew that perfectly well.
“No,” I blurted out. “I haven’t forgotten all the times you were happy to humiliate me, Xavier.
You’re just like them…” I gestured at the club’s entrance, referring to his friends inside.
I had no idea why he was trying to be nice to me now.
“So don’t get any weird ideas,” I told him bluntly.
Xavier cocked an eyebrow and barely held himself back from laughing at me outright.
“Trust me, Babydoll, no matter how cute you are, you couldn’t satisfy someone like me,” he sneered before taking a step toward me. I stepped back automatically. “I do wonder how someone like you can be with someone like Neil, though.” He frowned inquisitively at me.
I didn’t understand it either. I didn’t want to save Neil from his past or even change who he was; I wanted more than that: I wanted him to understand that the world wasn’t just darkness, that it wasn’t only full of monsters like Kimberly, that he didn’t have to be ashamed of what he’d been through, and that I would never judge him.
Often, society marginalized people who demonstrated psychological problems as a result of trauma they’d experienced. But some people, like me, looked beyond that prejudice and tried to see the human inside.
I was certain that there was something good inside Neil; I knew he had the capacity for love. He could be soft with his siblings and even with me sometimes. A man without a heart or feelings wouldn’t be able to treat others with that kind of care.
“Somehow, our differences unite us,” I murmured.
What a fool I was! Despite what I’d just heard from Jennifer, I couldn’t bring myself to run Neil down and give up my faith in him.
“And you can accept the…way he is?” Xavier tilted his head slightly. He looked like he was observing me, like a specimen from another planet.
“What do you mean?” I asked with a frown.
A faint smile moved over his face as he approached me.
“I’ve seen how he fucks. Fucks for real, Selene, with all that rage he’s got in him.
When he shares a woman with me, he becomes an animal, and not just in the way he touches them.
It’s in the way he talks to them and looks at them…
” His disturbed tone chilled me. I looked at him in shock.
Why was he telling me something like this?
“But I think that he’s gotta be different with you, or else you wouldn’t be here right now,” he frowned thoughtfully, sticking a hand into the pocket of his black jeans.
“What…what are you trying to tell me?” I asked hoarsely.
I didn’t trust Xavier, so I had no idea how to interpret his little speech.
“You don’t know anything about Scarlett, do you?” he asked me like he already knew the answer.
I had actually tried several times to learn more about her, but I’d been unable to get any information out of anyone. The girl was like an omnipresent ghost, and everyone knew her story but me.
I shook my head slightly.
“Not even about her father, Officer Roger Scott?” he asked, and I thought about it.
I had seen the man once before when he’d showed up at Matt’s place investigating the attack on Carter Nelson, the guy who had ended up in a coma after a fight with Neil.
Other than that one meeting, I didn’t know much about him. So I shook my head again.
“Like I thought,” Xavier noted sardonically.
“Roger Scott is the person who hates Neil most in all the world. He’s been after him for years now.
One day, when you really want to know the man you’re sleeping with, you’ll find out what I’m talking about.
I don’t think Miller’s the type to confess all to you, Babydoll.
” He rolled his shoulders and went on. “It’s your life, and, quite frankly, you can do whatever you want.
But just tell me one thing…” He paused for effect.
“Why do you want to roll around in this shit with us pigs?”
I sucked in a breath at his rough words as my head began to spin from information overload.
What did Officer Scott want with Neil? How many more secrets from his past was I unaware of?
I’d had no idea he was Scarlett’s father, though it was now much clearer to me why I’d gotten such a strong impression that he and Neil knew each other.
“Why does Officer Scott have it in for him?” I asked abruptly, ignoring his other question. He looked gravely at me and didn’t say a word. “Has Neil had trouble with the law before?” I tried again, but still, Xavier kept silent. “Damn it, I need to know!” I raised my voice as I stepped toward him.
I’d had it with all these cryptic mysteries.
I had a right to know what Neil was hiding from me. I’d even begun to suspect that he might be a danger to me, but the feelings that kept me soul-bound to him took over and chased away all fear.
He was reckless and acted impulsively, but he was not a criminal.
“No, nothing like that,” Xavier answered, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “But Neil did take his daughter away from him. That’s enough to brew hatred and resentment in any man,” he added seriously, and I let my arms fall to my sides, feeling suddenly weak.
What did that mean? In what way did Neil take her away?
I was just about to ask him when a grim, intimidating figure appeared over Xavier’s shoulder. I didn’t even need to take a good look; I knew exactly who it was. I could smell the scent of musk from where I stood.
Neil.
“Xavier.” He addressed his friend immediately, and I could tell from his rigid tone that he was in a bad mood. “I know what you’re trying to do. Don’t use her to get at me.” He moved closer as if to shield me with his powerful body, and I looked at him in consternation.
What the hell was he talking about?
“Why would I do that?” Xavier asked him, a derisive tone in his voice. Neil didn’t so much as twitch; he remained completely blank. It wasn’t surprising, though. It was difficult to make him lose control, except when someone pushed him beyond his limits.