Chapter 10 Selene
“I wished I could just cling to him forever.”
Selene
I shifted on the fluffy bed.
Soft blankets warmed my body, and my eyelids refused to open up.
I felt worn-out and sleepy. It was so nice there with my nose buried in Neil’s pecs and one leg tucked between his, that I wished I could just cling to him forever.
I opened my eyes slowly just to be really certain that I wasn’t dreaming.
When I saw that he was truly there, sleeping next to me, I smiled and breathed in his delicious smell.
Shower gel, smoke, and sex.
I exhaled gently, trying not to wake him, even as a shiver of lust went down my back when I saw his every sensual angle pressed against me.
Neil lay beside me, naked and with no protective barriers. I could have taken the opportunity to coax him into another round of lovemaking. The thought of it made me blush, and my nipples, stiffened by my lewd desires, poked into his chest.
He moved very slightly, and only then did I notice his arm slung over my side.
Neil was holding me prisoner, like a dark angel who wanted to trap me inside his eternal damnation. Delighted to have slept beside him, I tried to absorb all the heat that his body could transmit to mine.
He was breathing slowly, his plush mouth slightly swollen from our kisses.
I studied every part of his face: the masculine jaw, the symmetrical nose, and the catlike eyes. I also spotted a tiny mole right below his left eye, and I was proud of myself for having noticed it, despite how minuscule it was.
In sleep, his forehead relaxed. Gone was the little furrow that formed between his eyebrows and made his expression look so perpetually sullen.
I laughed, thinking about how innocent Neil looked in sleep, if nowhere else.
Then, his eyelids fluttered, and I gasped.
What would he have thought if he’d caught me staring slack-jawed at him?
Fortunately, I didn’t think he’d seen anything.
I watched him yawn like a lion waking from a long nap, then he lifted his arms upward and stretched all his muscles.
The sheet slipped all the way down to the V around his groin, and I tracked its movement carefully.
Another inch and I would have seen him totally bare, because Neil wasn’t wearing boxers as he stretched out next to me.
I was highly anticipating that I’d see him au naturel in the next few moments.
“Hey, Tinkerbell.” His voice was nothing short of incredible first thing in the morning—low and somehow even deeper, so weathered it sounded like it belonged to a much older man.
I blushed like an idiot and felt my heart galloping in my chest. Impossible though it was, Neil always provoked the craziest feelings…
“Good morning, Mr. Disaster,” I whispered shyly. I wanted to move closer to him for a kiss or maybe even a cuddle, but I forced myself to stay where I was.
With Neil, I was never quite sure where the line was.
He didn’t want a relationship; that much was clear to me, but could I at least show him the kind of affection that a woman in love would show her man?
I didn’t know, and I was afraid he’d feel pressured if I asked him.
I had to appreciate the little bits Neil was giving me without pushing him or trying to accelerate his timeline.
I should have been trying to be spontaneous, behaving freely, but instead…
There I sat, covering my breasts with a sheet, my head already too busy with thoughts.
I touched my hair, which felt tangled under my fingers, before my distracted gaze caught on something completely unexpected. My eyes went wide as I stared at Neil’s crotch area, where a notable, extremely robust bulge was barely concealed by the sheet. I leaned in for a better look, and…yep.
That was a for-real giant erection.
“Ah, it’s that time again. I like to call it the Morning Glory.” He patted himself between the legs over the sheet to put himself back in order, but that just ended up highlighting his erect cock.
I could not breathe.
Neil was the kind of guy I could only have defined in one word: virile.
“Yeah… I would definitely describe that as a large, majestic…” I babbled awkwardly, “…glory.” I cleared my throat and quickly looked away, already feeling my cheeks start to burn.
What the hell was I talking about? I was completely embarrassed, and he chuckled.
I tried to inch away to escape the awkwardness, but Neil grabbed my wrist and tugged me back onto the bed before nimbly hopping on top of me.
Without so much as a good morning kiss or a measly little caress, he hit me with one of his provocative smiles.
I had some idea of what his intentions were, but I hoped he didn’t want a full repeat of the night before—I was still sore.
I closed my eyes and gulped.
He arched his back so I could really feel his stiff member against my crotch.
He was trying to seduce me, to make me melt in his hands.
I readied myself to take him again, to weather the ferocious thrusts, the hungry hands, and the kisses that stole my breath, but I didn’t feel any of that.
Slowly, I opened my eyes, and I found him propped up on his elbows, frowning intensely at my neck, then at my breasts, and finally at my hips.
“Have you ever felt like I don’t respect your body?
” he asked abruptly, his eyes suddenly boring into mine.
He sounded unusually serious, and it seemed that I could even detect a hint of worry in his tone.
It wasn’t easy to parse his question with his body still on top of mine, but I answered him honestly.
“That you don’t respect me as a woman? Yes.
But my body specifically…no,” I admitted.
I hoped I was making sense: I felt belittled when he sought out other women while he was with me, but I had never felt like he’d physically violated me or touched me against my will.
Even when I pretended to reject his touch, he knew my real desires; he could sense my arousal, and he knew what I wanted.
Every time, we played lion and gazelle, but we both knew how it was always going to turn out.
“So you like the way I am?” he insisted, and he appeared to be genuinely troubled and anxious to hear my response.
“Which part are you talking about?” I asked, and he sighed impatiently.
“In bed…how I am in bed,” he specified, and I finally realized what he was trying to have a conversation about.
“Yes…” I managed, a little embarrassed. “Sometimes you can be a bit too…” I paused and tried to find the right word. “Carnal,” I said finally. “But I like all of you,” I admitted freely, heart on my sleeve. I had accepted him, all his virtues and all his flaws.
He looked skeptically at me for a few seconds before drawing closer to press a kiss to my throat.
It was unexpected. The sweet gesture gave me chills, and I dug my hands into his hair as he bent down to kiss one of my breasts as well.
He mouthed my nipple, and I moaned, pressing his head into my chest. I loved the passionate way he laid claim to me, even when he was giving me the most basic attentions in an apparently gentle fashion.
He proceeded to mark me with his fiery mouth all the way down to my bellybutton, but he froze when he got to my right hip.
I frowned and raised myself up slightly to see what had caught his attention.
Neil was fixated on a bruise there similar to the one on my breast, which was probably similar to the one on my neck as well.
Then I understood the reason for his odd behavior, and he confirmed that thought when he kissed me right on that spot.
I sat back comfortably again and waited for him to continue.
By then, he was kneeling between my spread legs, rubbing my thighs.
My remaining prudishness made me blush at the thought of him looking right into my most intimate place.
I grew agitated when he leaned down to pass his tongue along my slit with a seemingly benevolent smile that concealed behind it the desire he felt for me.
However, his intention wasn’t to pleasure me; he was just stopping for a taste on his way to soothing the bruises on my thighs with more kisses.
His lips drifted down to my knees, and I shivered at the friction of his beard against my skin.
Then he turned his attention back to me, eye to eye.
“I’ll give you more of them,” he warned, referring to marks caused by his methods of owning me, always too passionate and too wild.
“I don’t care. If it helps you express what you feel when you’re with me, I can accept that.” I caressed his jaw to communicate to him that there was nothing to be afraid of, and he didn’t need to feel guilty. His expression darkened, and he sighed.
“You’re crazier than me, Babygirl,” he grumbled, and I couldn’t tell if he was making a joke or earnestly scolding me.
“I’m just very pale with delicate skin.” I tried to coax him with a smile, but he shook his head and knelt again, showing me his body in all its beauty. I admired him, wondering what I had done to deserve someone like him, and without meaning to I spoke my thoughts aloud.