Chapter 23 Megan #3
“You didn’t hurt me. I’m grateful to you; you stopped the worst of it,” I whispered, rubbing his arm.
Neil stared fixedly at the motion of my fingers, which slowly crept downward toward his wrist. I took his hand and brought it to my heart.
He sucked in a breath when his palm came into contact with my breast, grazing my nipple.
“Megan…” he cautioned, but I just kept following my instincts.
Covering his hand with mine, I guided him down to my stomach, but before I could get him to the place where I wanted him the most, he flinched away from me and stepped back in shock.
“No. Fuck. No!” he exploded, looking at me like I wasn’t even a person.
“You know I like to mess with you; I do it all the time. That doesn’t mean I’m actually going to screw you.
” He passed a hand over his face and stared at me in horror.
“Were you… Were you actually going for it?” He cocked his head to one side.
“I was actually kinda trying to get you to go for it…” I chuckled, but he apparently didn’t see the humor in the situation because he just scowled in annoyance.
“This isn’t funny,” he growled. “None of it is funny!”
I looked down then and saw beneath his boxers an erection the likes of which I’d rarely seen before.
Correction: had never seen before.
He looked in the direction of my stare, and when he saw his own body’s reaction, he blanched. Instead of taking the opportunity to brag about his obvious endowment, Neil Miller seemed ashamed of it. Or like he was about to be sick.
“Looks like someone disagrees with you,” I said teasingly, tapping my finger against my chin. The look he gave me was so cold that I actually shivered.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he exploded in anger.
“You want to get fucked? Go find someone else. I’m not going to do the job for you.
That would be totally fucking insane,” he added, a little more hesitantly.
He took another step back and shook his head as if to clear it.
“You’re not even my type,” he sneered, though the flickers of heat in his eyes suggested otherwise.
Neil was working hard to keep his impulses under control.
“Why are you still letting Kimberly make decisions for you?” I asked challengingly.
“Nothing happened that day in the basement. We were children, and nothing happened because you saved us. We’re both adults now.
If you want to touch me, if you want to kiss me, if you want to fuck me, you can!
” I opened my arms wide, egging him on. Neil furrowed his brow in confusion.
“If you can tell me no because you honestly don’t want me, then I won’t say a thing.
” I advanced on him, and he stepped back until he hit the edge of the kitchen counter behind him.
“So reject me, Neil. Tell me you aren’t attracted to me.
But don’t lie to yourself; don’t give in to Kim.
Don’t let her have that power over you.” I lifted my face to look up at him finding him bewildered, to say the least. There was a lost look in his eyes, and his mouth had fallen slightly open. He was panting.
“No,” he whispered, grasping on to the edge of the counter behind him like he needed some sort of anchor to resist me and suppress everything he was feeling. “I said no,” he repeated in exasperation.
“Yes, Neil. Yes. For fuck’s sake. Free yourself from this senseless, poisonous belief you have about me.
I am just a woman who has experienced the same kind of thing that you have, that’s all.
I hate it when you look at me like I’m some other kind of thing, like I’m something wrong.
I hate it when you connect me with Kimberly and your memories.
And I hate it when you call me Head Case because it’s not crazy to see reality for what it is.
And the truth is, we—” But before I could say aloud that we were drawn to each other, Neil fell upon my mouth with unstoppable force.
His tongue urged me to open my lips to him, and as he invaded me completely, I felt his clean flavor mixed with smoke on my tongue.
It was so intensely erotic that I groaned.
His hands cupped my breasts, which had grown heavy with want, and he fondled them as he continued kissing me.
It was earth-shaking.
We staggered back against the kitchen island. It wasn’t just a kiss; it was pure sex.
He rubbed my hips and moved down to my ass cheeks, squeezing them hard as he ground his erection against my lower abdomen.
I felt the most marvelous chill run down my spine.
I let out a whine of pleasure, and Neil pulled away abruptly, leaving my mouth swollen and sore.
He stared at me in shock.
“Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about it,” I panted. “Stop giving that woman more power over you. I’m not proposing marriage here; this will just be sex for me too,” I reassured him, my smile genuine.
We both wanted the same thing: to fuck each other.
Something ignited inside him, his body champing at the bit to let loose the desire that burned inside him.
He was still trying to fight it, to push it down, but then his shoulders slumped and he surrendered fully.
“I’m not the gentle type,” he warned, resting his hands to either side of my hips on the kitchen counter.
“And I don’t like being underneath anyone,” I shot back, my tone amused. He frowned slightly as he gave my curves a long, lewd look.
“Me neither,” he admitted. “So?” he asked, and the register of his voice only whipped up the storm inside me further.
All at once, I used my forearms to lift myself up and sat on the kitchen island and wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him into me.
I hissed when I felt his massive dick between my thighs.
“So we compromise. Find a position that’s comfortable for both of us.
Equal height, equal decision-making power.
I don’t like being submissive,” I told him clearly, leaning forward to kiss his neck.
“So don’t even think about it,” I added, sucking his earlobe into my mouth.
The vibration of his deep chuckle spread through my chest.
“Whatever you say, Head Case. But we’re not doing it here.
” He gathered me into his arms and lifted me up.
I let out a cry of surprise as he walked us briskly toward my room.
I moved against him with every step, my nipples rubbing up against his chest, drawing the tension inside me unbearably tight.
“How many men have you been with?” he asked as he kicked the door open.
“Not many, just two. After Ryan,” I admitted easily. I didn’t have a high body count for someone my age, not with men or women, because, despite what my current circumstances would suggest, I wasn’t promiscuous.
“And how long has it been since you fucked a man?” he went on.
“About a year,” I answered. The memories of Ryan and what he’d done to me had limited me.
I was limited by my fears, by my inability to trust, and by the pain that I still felt deep in my chest. The same pain that had me tossing and turning through the night with terrible nightmares.
For all those reasons, I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with just anyone.
“Good,” was all he said as he slowly laid me out on the bed.
I’d just told him I didn’t like being in a submissive position, but Neil was clearly used to something different.
So before he could stretch out above me, I pushed him over until his shoulders hit the mattress.
He gave me a look of surprise but didn’t have time to object before I was clambering on top of him.
I peeled off my shirt as I straddled him, tossing it onto the floor.
His stare turned hungry as he looked at my bare breasts and the tattoo right between them along my sternum.
He lifted a curious hand to stroke it and mapped the lines with his fingers.
“It’s a black butterfly,” I said, anticipating his question.
“It symbolizes phobias, insecurities. Things we can’t control.
Things we’ll never be free from.” I leaned down to pepper his jaw with kisses.
He wasn’t fully relaxed; his head was still somewhere else.
I began to move against him, stoking his desire.
His breathing sped up, but he was still too controlled.
He put his hands on my hips, and I couldn’t tell if it was a weak attempt to stop me or a silent request to keep going.
“I want you now…” I whispered, stopping for just a moment to slide his boxers down his legs and throw them off the bed.
When I was finally able to admire his nude body in full, it took my breath away.
I dazedly stroked his neck, his pectorals, and down his abs, my hungry eyes locked on the large cock standing tall between us.
I panted as I glided my hand over him, making sure it wasn’t some sort of dream.
His body reacted to my touch; the tip of his penis became moist, and his balls contracted, giving me a little burst of pleasure.
“Satisfied?” he murmured as he sat up to pull me against him. He stroked my back and then squeezed my ass, urging me to move. I couldn’t speak—for the first time, it was really hitting me what was about to happen, and the brief flicker of insecurity made me falter.
I would have preferred a little foreplay to cut the tension, but Neil apparently didn’t like to waste time. He bent his head over my breasts and gently bit my nipple before sucking it to soothe the burn as I arched into him. He was aggressive, wild. He wasn’t going to stop.
I had started this, and now he was making it clear to me that there was no backing down.
And I longed for it. I had forgotten the euphoria that came with sharing this kind of intimacy with another person.
With him, I wasn’t thinking about Ryan. I wasn’t thinking about the torn and tattered little girl who lived in my memories.