8. Pathological People Pleaser
Pathological People Pleaser
Dolly greeted me at the door when I came in, likely wondering what the loud bang she had heard was. Saturdays were usually pretty tame around here. I set my purse on the kitchen table and dialed Emma back, tucking my phone between my shoulder and ear as I worked to refill Dolly’s water.
“Glad to see he wasn’t a crazy serial killer.” Emma laughed when she answered.
“We have really gotta find more to watch than true crime or crime shows, but yes, it is a good thing.” Maybe we watched a little too much true crime, but what girl didn’t?
“Okay, soooo? Details, details! Don’t be stingy since I can’t be there in person.
Tonight has been busy enough as it is with three new babies in the nursery, plus the ones who hadn’t been discharged yet, but enough about that.
Spill.” I slid my shoes off by the back door and let Dolly outside.
Following her out, I plopped down onto the sofa on the patio, tucking my legs up under me and placing my phone on speaker.
I could see lightning bugs dance across the night sky, and the cicadas were practically screaming right now.
“It was amazing, he picked me up and was early, brought me flowers, and get this,” I shifted and brought the phone closer to my mouth, “Dolly loved him, which is insane enough as it is because she hates everyone. He took me to this nice restaurant downtown, and we talked and had such a nice time together. Then he brought me back home, walked me to the door, and kissed me. Well—technically, I kissed him.” I pulled the phone away from my ear as her shriek rang out and rolled my eyes, even though she couldn’t see.
The balmy breeze kicked up, and the smell of rain carried on it as it kissed my warm skin.
Nothing was more peaceful than a summer storm.
The rolling thunder and streaks of lightning that painted the sky in streaks of purple and white, mixed with the relaxing pitter-patter of rain, were ideal reading conditions.
It would also be great for the plants and hopefully wash away some of the pollen that plagues every surface.
Em’s question brought my focus back to our conversation. “Oh my god, how was it? He looks like he’d be a good kisser.”
“It was life-changing, I know that sounds dumb, it was like I could feel this current between us when he kissed me. He even pushed me against the door and lifted my leg up on him, Em. Do you know how hot that is?” A shiver ran down my spine thinking back to that kiss.
“Oof, that’s when I called, wasn’t it? I’m sorry, girl, I cockblocked you.”
“It’s okay, I didn’t want to go too fast anyway, but I lose all good sense around that man.
I don’t want to fuck this up. You know how bad I get in my head about, well, about anything really.
He seems so damn good, Emma, and what if I’m not good enough for him?
What if he sees the real me and decides it’s too much work and I’m not worth the trouble?
Not to mention this was supposed to be a friendly dinner.
I was the one who all but shoved my tongue down his throat.
” I picked at some stray pieces of pilling on the couch, silently kicking myself for being so selfish.
There was already a good chance I’d ruin – whatever this was– before it had even started. Great job, Allie.
“Allie…” She paused, and I waited, trying to keep the tears at bay.
“Don’t let your mind ruin this night for you.
You even said yourself this feels different.
I know Cameron got in your head and kinda fucked up future relationships for you to a degree, and your piece of shit father too, but don’t let them keep holding this power over you.
You’re so strong, and so much better than anything they’ve ever said, and they don’t deserve your energy, girl.
Now. Do you think there will be a second date? ”
“Yeah, or at least I hope there’s one. The last thing I want at work is trouble, so I want to make sure this is okay, and we don’t break any rules.
It was an amazing night, Emma.” I let loose a shaky breath because even though I’ve heard those words before, sometimes I needed that reminder.
To know I’m worthy of love and that I don’t have to work for it.
“I’m glad, girl, it's about time you put yourself first and have some fun.”
“I know, can you believe it? The chronic people pleaser did something for herself.” I shook my head and laughed. “Alright, girl, I’m tired, and that’s enough emotion for one conversation, so I’m gonna hop off here and take my makeup off and shower. I’ll text you. Night, Em, love you.”
“Night, Allie, get some rest. Love you too.”
I got Dolly inside before heading to the bathroom to strip my clothes and makeup and soak in the tub.
The one thing I fell in love with right away in this house was its giant tub, perfect for lying in to soak, without your knees or some other body part sticking out. Truly a lifesaver after a long day.
I grabbed my speaker, turned on Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, lit the candles lining the counter, and then got in, sinking into the scalding water.
My head was still reeling from how much fun I had tonight and how amazing that kiss was.
Reaching up, I touched my lips, which were slightly puffy and warm.
If kissing him felt that good every time, then I wanted to never stop.
My head emptied of all sensible thoughts until it was only him and me on that porch, connected in a way I couldn’t properly describe.
I tried to rack my brain for ever having this feeling with anyone, and I came up with nothing.
This was the foot-pop-and-fireworks type of feeling you see in romcoms or read about in my books.
That all-consuming feeling. Thinking about what Emma had said on the phone, I knew she was right.
I always put everyone else’s needs before my own.
Whether it was intentional or not. It was past time I chose something for myself.
Spencer didn’t feel like a temporary fling to me. It would be scary dating someone after how awful Cameron was, and I’d need to balance that with work, but I was willing to try. We had one friendly-turned-not-so-friendly date, which was crazy to even think, but something in me knew it to be true.
The water turned cold, and I finally climbed out and dried off. The fluffy towel was soft against my skin as I wrapped it around me and grabbed my phone from the counter, seeing that Spencer had kept his word and texted me. Smiling to myself, I clicked it open while I grabbed some pajamas.
Spencer: I made it home nice and safe. Thank you for going out tonight with me. I had a great time.
Allie: I’m glad you did :) I had a great time too, and thanks for asking me lol
Spencer: Anytime sweetheart ;)
Spencer: I just can’t stop thinking about that kiss
Allie: I’m still thinking about that kiss too…
Allie: It was probably the best kiss I’ve ever had if we’re being honest here
Spencer: The best huh? ;)
Allie: I take it back it’s bottom 3
Spencer: Well then I guess I’m gonna have to keep trying till it is the best then won’t I?
Allie: Oh you’re smooth
He didn’t respond right away, so I did my skincare quickly, threw on my lotion, and then got settled into bed with my Kindle and Dolly.
I sank into plush bedding, letting it cocoon around me as I rubbed my legs together like a grasshopper.
I was a few pages into the chapter when a soft ping came from my nightstand.
Spencer: You’ve not seen the half of it sweetheart I promise
Allie: Are you trying to sweet talk me there lover boy?
Spencer: Maybe…maybe not.. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.
Spencer: Get some sleep and I’ll text you tomorrow beautiful
I sat up a little more and pulled Dolly into my lap and made a goofy face, snapping a picture of us to send to him.
Allie: Currently in bed and getting 10/10 snuggles from the baby
Allie: Goodnight handsome