13. Sugar We’re Going Down #2
“My youngest brother, Andrew, was babied all the time due to some health issues when he was little. My mom did all his laundry, made his bed, cooked for him, everything. He ended up not doing anything for himself once he was older. I mean, like absolutely nothing. He’s only three years younger than me, aware of how awful my dad was to me, but he ignored anything that happened.
When my dad did pay attention to me, it was usually because he was yelling at me or—” His voice cracked at the end, and he took a deep breath.
I squeezed his hand and rubbed my thumb across the top to let him know to take all the time he needed and that I was here for him.
“Or because he wanted to toughen me up and show me what a ‘real man’ was. My mom never did anything to stop it; she just let it happen. She’d either turn a blind eye or justify it in some way.
Say he was only hitting on me, so I grew up okay, or some bullshit.
” Spencer let out a shuddering breath before he continued once more.
“Come my senior year, I had had enough. At this point, I knew that the only way I’d get out was if I got a full-ride scholarship, and I was constantly studying so my grades were great.
I was fucking exhausted from studying for exams one night, he came in drunk and tried to grab me, so I finally hit him back.
My mom started crying and blaming me, so I grabbed everything I could and went to Carson.
His family took me in without a second thought and let me stay till I left for college. How’s that for a backstory?”
Letting out a long sigh, he shook his head and gave my hand a squeeze.
My heart physically ached for him and for that scared little boy.
I squeezed his hand back and then pulled it to my mouth, placing small kisses on each of his knuckles to the phantom cuts that are no longer there.
Anger raced through my veins at the thought of what he endured.
How his mother could excuse the behavior and do nothing to protect him. They were all deplorable.
“Well, I’m glad you got at least one hit in, but I hate you couldn’t get more.
You didn’t deserve what happened, and from what I can see, it’s your family's loss. You’re an amazing person, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and respect you.
Those who will protect you when it’s needed.
Family isn’t always the one you’re born into; it can be the one you choose.
It’s the one filled with people who would drop everything and be there for you.
Who would give you the shirt off their back without asking for anything in return?
Friends you meet when you’re young, or the ones you meet unexpectedly when you're older.” I turned, taking in his side profile, and I could see his throat bob.
A few minutes later, we pulled into my garage.
He killed the engine, but neither of us made a move to get out.
“I knew from a very young age I wanted to be nothing like them, and I didn’t want to stay there.
We didn’t have money, so I studied my ass off for scholarships.
I tried to talk to my brothers, but Jason didn’t see any issues, and Andrew didn’t care to change.
They’d never be the ones to reach out first. Never asked how I was or if I needed anything, so I stopped.
I stopped pouring into people who wouldn’t do the same for me.
” He leaned back against the seat and turned his head toward me.
“Hope that didn’t ruin the evening, sweetheart.
” He gave me a watery smile, and I could feel the moment another wall crumbled down.
“Never, lover boy. You could never ruin my evening.”
I took Dolly in and let her out once more before showering. Spencer stayed outside, insisting he would keep an eye on her. Even though I assured him she’d be fine, he just shooed me toward the bathroom.
I went and turned the shower on so it could heat up.
While it did, I turned on some music, and “Who’s Crying Now” by Journey started to drift through my speaker.
Yanking a brush through the bird's nest that was my hair, I made a mental note to put more hair ties in my car to prevent this from happening again.
Once I was tangle-free, I put a hair mask on for the ultimate self-care night.
Stepping into the shower, I let the hot water wash over me, loosen up my muscles, and wash away the lingering nerves.
I washed and shaved while the hair mask sat for another few minutes, before rinsing it out, followed by a double shampoo of my hair and conditioning the ends.
By the end of my shower, I was completely relaxed.
Wrapping the giant fluffy towel around me as I stepped out, I realized I forgot to bring my pajamas into the bathroom with me.
Quickly peeking out to see if Spencer had made it back to the room, and with no sign of him or Dolly, I quickly dried off, threw my pajamas on, and walked to the kitchen to find them.
“Hello?” I called because I didn’t see them anywhere.
“Out here!” Spencer's voice rang out from the backyard.
Stepping through the opened French doors, I was met with the lingering humidity of the night. Spencer had the fairy lights on and was throwing a ball with Dolly, looking every bit at ease and at home.
“You’ve done it now. She’ll never want to stop playing fetch. It’s her favorite game.” I walked up next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me as I snuggled into his side.
“Feeling better after your shower?”
“Yes, much better. I needed that. Do you want to see what sweets I have in the kitchen?”
“Good, I’m glad, and umm, yes, I do. My sweet tooth is massive, so let's go find a treat. Dolly, come on, girl, it's time to come in.” She barreled her way inside, and I went and looked in the pantry while Spence looked in the fridge.
“Hmm, I don’t have much. I have some of these pre-made brownies from the bakery?”
“Works for me. I’ll grab some plates.” We stood there next to each other munching on our brownies, just talking about the evening and how he liked seeing how me and my family interacted with each other.
I knew it was hard on him, even if he didn’t say it.
I could never imagine that type of pain of having no one.
Especially after all he told me on the drive home.
My father, and I use that term loosely, may have been an abusive piece of shit, but at least I had my mom, who would drop anything for me, and my little sister, who would possibly take someone’s kneecaps out if I was upset enough.
When we were done, we worked together cleaning up, putting the plates in the sink, and putting away the pizza boxes too.
I grabbed some cleaner and did a quick wipe down of the counters while he made sure all the trash was thrown out.
He did what needed to be done without me having to ask or say anything.
It was refreshing compared to what I was used to—to have help with even the simplest task instead of having to do it all.
All of the overhead lights were off, and the kitchen was lit by the various lamps I had on.
The smell of lemon from the cleaner we used mingled with the scent of summer that floated in from the open window above the sink.
I was washing my hands when Spencer walked up behind me and ran his fingers along my arm and then up through my hair, playing with the damp strands there.
He ran his nose along the curve of my neck, “You always smell so fucking good.” He moved my hair to the side and peppered kisses down my neck and onto my shoulder.
“I know I said I wanted to be a gentleman, but my restraint is hanging by a thread that unravels more and more every second we’re together. ”
Turning around so I could see him, I leaned back against the counter, my voice coming out husky, “I never said I wanted you to be a gentleman.”
War waged between his eyes of wanting to do the right thing and take this slow, or to say to hell with it and do what he wanted to do. I gently nibbled on my bottom lip and looked up at him, and I saw the moment that the thread unraveled a little more.