Chapter 2
I had dreams to fulfill and a girl to win
With fifteen yards to cover and ten seconds on the clock, I drew my arm back, relaxed my shoulder, and scanned the field.
This was my first college game, and one I would remember for the rest of my life.
The entire scene unfolded in slow motion.
I spotted all my players, wearing teal jerseys, dotting the green man-made turf.
Then I studied all the white and red jerseys’ trajectories.
My guys moved into place according to the play I’d called seconds ago.
Craig avoided the cornerbacks closing in on him with a jump and a twist of his body to the right, getting into position.
Another angry white and red jersey blocked his way, and I had to improvise.
The game would end in a tie if we didn’t score.
Seven seconds to go on the board. We had one last chance to bring the victory home.
Two cornerbacks closed in on my brother, and all my other guys were blocked by defensive players from the opposite team.
With no time to think and perfectly rehearsed movements, I escaped the players chasing after me and ran. I ran as if my life depended on it. With jumps, sidesteps, twists, and feints, I slipped past the opposing players.
I sprinted with one goal in mind: to reach the end zone. I evened my breathing and pushed harder.
Sweat rolled down my nape.
A hand connected with my hip, gripping my shirt, but I broke free with a step to the left. My grip on the pigskin tightened. An elbow hit me in the ribs, and I sucked in a breath and pivoted to my right, as a dull ache radiated through my side. I clenched my teeth.
Five yards to go.
How could such a short distance feel like I was running for my life? It seemed like I’d been escaping these white and red jerseys for a much longer race.
Two yards to go.
My pulse pounded in my skull.
All my senses were attuned to each detail surrounding me.
A hand clamped my ankle.
No. This couldn’t be happening.
Squatting a little to anchor my feet to the ground, I leaped forward in the biggest jump I could muster.
Touchdown.
I threw the ball down and lifted my arms above my head. “Fuck yes.” Relief and pride waltzed through me. A wave of teal swallowed me, and I got lifted off the ground as my teammates cheered, and the small crowd who had come to see us play today erupted into screams and applause in the bleachers.
For a second, I searched the crowd of teal and navy-blue jersey supporters, just in case Melinda Shepard had been there, cheering me on, and I wasn’t aware. Like she had done last fall when we were seniors at Elk River High.
My heart deflated when I couldn’t spot her and remembered she wouldn’t walk on the field to congratulate me this time or banter with me about my ego.
My teammates lowered me, and Craig jumped into my arms like we did after every win. He tapped my helmet. “Proud of you, Mase. So fucking proud of you.”
“That pass you caught in the second quarter, I’m having goose bumps just thinking about it,” I said, tightening my grip around his shoulders.
These days, I tried to give my brother hugs and some much-needed love as often as possible, most of the time using football as an excuse to pull him into my arms. “You’re a superstar, man. I’m so glad Coach let you start today.”
He said nothing, but from the way his arms wrapped around my body, I could tell he had longed to hear those words.
One day, I would get my brother back—the funny, though sometimes stuck-up, guy I’d always been looking up to. My best friend since the day our parents had brought me home from the hospital. My almost twin. The guy I would die for any day of the week if it meant protecting him from the same fate.
Rutherford, a running back on the team and one of my roommates, neared us. “Good job, Mase. Fuck, we beat the Stallions. The Phoenix will be the team to watch this year. I can feel it in my bones. We’ll be fucking celebrities by the end of the semester. You have one hell of an arm, QB.”
My grin probably reached my ears.
I had been leading the team for about six weeks now, including the preseason camp, but already the guys considered me their leader. The thought warmed my heart.
If we kept playing like this, we’d reach the top position in our division, and I’d be one step closer to my ultimate dream of playing pro.
“There’s a party tonight. To celebrate our win. Are you in?” Rutherford asked as soon as I stepped into the house we shared. Craig and I had scored rooms in a house with two other players on the team, instead of the dorms, which was a sweet deal, considering we were only freshmen.
I dropped my book bag by the staircase and slouched onto the couch beside the one he was sitting on with Amber, his long-time girlfriend, who had her head pressed on his shoulder, holding one of his hands.
I was still riding the high from our earlier win, but the exhaustion from the game had kicked in.
I had to get moving soon, or else I wouldn’t leave this couch all night.
I’d spent the last two hours at the library.
I had a paper due Monday that I hadn’t started until after the game earlier, so I’d needed some calm and quiet to focus and get it done.
Devin Rutherford, Carson Bailey, Craig, and I lived in a two-story townhouse just outside of campus.
Blonde wooden floors, mushroom-gray walls, and dark cupboards, it looked better than any apartment I thought I’d ever share with a bunch of football players in college.
In the living room, two black leather couches perpendicular to each other, that Bailey’s parents had gifted us since they were remodeling their house, were set before a giant TV screen mounted on the wall.
Empty vintage wooden crates had been affixed together to create some sort of media storage unit where we stored bottles of liquor, DVDs, and video game consoles.
The room opened onto a small patch of grass we called our backyard through a wide patio door.
An old chest that had seen better days doubled as an ottoman and a coffee table.
In one corner was a weird-looking, red velvet hand-shaped chair Rutherford had found in a garage sale, that no one ever ventured to sit on, and a large plant my mom had sent over as a move-in gift because she joked a house full of testosterone would need some fresh oxygen.
Rutherford had named it Bob and dressed it with a cap and a pair of sunglasses.
Both Craig’s and my rooms were located upstairs on the second floor, while our teammates slept on the main floor, their bedrooms connecting to the hallway leading to the double garage, the laundry room, and a four-piece Jack and Jill bathroom.
Even though Craig could have picked the master bedroom, my brother chose the smaller one, barely wide enough to house a queen-size bed.
I ended up with the larger bedroom that included a small desk, an en-suite bathroom, and a walk-in closet, more spacious than the room I lived in back home.
The old Mason who used to fuck like it was his life’s mission would have loved the setup.
Rutherford set his girlfriend beside him, rose to his feet, and disappeared down the hallway leading to his bedroom.
Amber straightened up. “Are you a free agent?”
I pointed to my chest. “Me?”
She perused the room. “Huh, who else?”
I shrugged. “Huh… Bob?”
She poked her tongue out at me as I offered her a cheeky smile.
“Why?”
“I wanna match you with Christina, my roomie. She’s smart and the coolest chick I know.
I think you two would get along.” She sipped from the beer bottle in her hand, watching me.
“So? Interested? I can show you a picture.” She unlocked her phone, scrolling through what I assumed was her photo feed.
I scratched my temple, glancing at my feet. “The thing is that I kinda already have someone…”
“Who?” Interest flashed in her eyes when I met her gaze. “Do we know her? You’ve never said anything about having a girlfriend… Unless it’s a boyfriend… Whoever makes your heart happy.”
“It’s not a boyfriend. She…she’s a she, as you can tell…huh…anyway…we used to be friends… Now, let’s just say... I don’t know what we are anymore. She goes to college here. I haven’t run into her yet...”
Amber blinked. “You’re telling us you’re in love with a girl who doesn’t know you’re in love with her, and you haven’t seen her in a long-ass time, so you have no idea if you’re even friends?” She exhaled. “Wow.” She didn’t look impressed, but more like confused.
I felt my cheeks warming up. “That pretty much sums it up…”
“Whoa, that’s quite…huh…interesting? I’m not sure how else to describe it.”
“When you put it like that.” I sighed. Once I said it out loud, my infatuation with Melinda Shepard sounded lame. I shook my head and dragged a hand over my face. “Yeah, it’s complicated. We have history… We kinda grew apart a few months ago.”
“Man, that’s sick,” Rutherford added as he joined us, lifted Amber into his arms, sat back, and positioned her over his lap, watching me as if I were a lab specimen he had just discovered. “I thought you were the a different pussy every night kinda guy.”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
“Nah, I respect you even more.” He leaned forward, shifting his girlfriend on his lap so he could bump my fist. “Are you going to that party later? Maybe your mystery girl will be there.”
“A bunch of us are going to Lola’s first to grab a bite. Are you guys in?” I asked.
Amber shook her head. “No, we’re having dinner, just the two of us.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “I love to congratulate my man in private.”
I tapped my thighs and jumped to my feet. “Enough. No need for details. I’ll be out of here in thirty minutes. Please keep your hands to yourself and your clothes on until I’m gone.”
They both burst out laughing. “Fine, it’s a deal. I hope you make it to the party.”
“Yeah, I’ll think about it. See you later, guys.”
Without waiting for a reply, I jogged up the stairs and changed into a pair of washed-out jeans, a black T-shirt with the Phoenix logo printed on the front, and a red hoodie.
The cool late September air filled my lungs when I stepped outside, and I decided to walk to Lola’s. On the mile-long stretch, I crossed paths with one of my teammates and his girlfriend, a girl from my entrepreneurship class, and my marketing professor walking his chihuahua.
Energy zipped through me as I noticed the pub two blocks down.
The more I neared the old red brick building, the more my body vibrated with awareness.
I clamped the black wrought iron handle, about to go inside, when I saw her.
My heart thundered at her sight, ready to escape my chest cavity.
I hadn’t seen Melinda Shepard in weeks, not since the day I spotted her on her front porch as I was driving away to football camp—and still, my entire body came alive at her proximity. Taking a step back, I chose to wait until I regained some sort of composure before going in.
Since our friendship had fallen apart, I had put all my focus into my sport and taken my dedication to a brand-new level.
Nowadays, I trained harder and ate healthier.
Sometimes, even I had a hard time believing it was possible since I was already kind of a health freak, to begin with.
I’d also improved my grades back in high school.
I wanted to be the best… Scratch that. I needed to be the best, to prove to myself I wasn’t a failure and that I had control over some parts of my life.
Eight months ago, I’d stopped attending parties for the most part and pushed away anyone who tried to get too close to me for the wrong reasons.
Even Tanya, Elk River High’s cheer captain, had gotten the message loud and clear at some point because she had stopped flirting with me.
I heard all kinds of rumors at school about my being gay or that I had joined a cult where sex was prohibited.
Whatever. I couldn’t care less about what everyone thought of me anymore.
I had dreams to fulfill and a girl to win. Nothing else mattered.
I clutched my chest, as if I could stop my heart from bursting through my ribs. My breathing increased, and my palms started to sweat.
Melinda was here, at Lola’s, and from the looks of it, she worked at the pub. How had I missed this fact the two times I’d come here since the semester began?
She carried a tray toward my teammates’ table, a smile I knew to be fake grazing her mouth.
Her features appeared smoother now, her eyes more alert.
She looked less like the girl I once knew and more like a woman—all delicious curves and silky skin.
She was more beautiful than I remembered, coming across as self-assured and relaxed.
My body reacted to her even more than it did back when we used to hang out together in high school, and I had no idea it was even possible.
My feet brought me close to her of their own volition.
The moment I stood behind her, I saw her shoulders relax. My own heart rate decreased.
The scent of her orange blossom shampoo hit my nostrils.
How did I spend so long without being around this girl?
She hadn’t even acknowledged me yet, and already she made me feel like I’d come home.
I was so screwed.
Deep down, I prayed we could at least resume our friendship because losing Melinda Shepard a second time would be the death of me.
That I knew for sure.
She would ruin me.
Who would have thought that, in the end, she would be the one breaking my heart?