Chapter 15 #3
“Ha. Ha. Very funny. I’m not interested in psychoanalyzing the poor guy.
He looks terrified every time I take his order.
Then he smiles awkwardly. I get awkward too, and before we know it, we’re both stuck in awkwardness until he pays and leaves.
He always puts exactly three dollars in the tip jar.
” She paused and winced as she just realized something.
“Fuck, you’re right. He’s stalking me. I should have been able to see it a long time ago.
Do you think I chose the wrong career path? Perhaps I’m not qualified to—”
“Lady, can you wrap it up? I’m kinda in a hurry, and I need my bagel, or my blood sugar will drop. You can talk another day. There are people here who actually have a life to get back to,” the guy standing by the counter said in a clipped tone.
Cassidy fixed the fakest smile on her lips. “I’ll be right with you, sir.” She emphasized the sir in a condescending tone. I’ll see you later, she mouthed as I thanked her and returned to my table.
Left to myself, I did some people-watching while I ate, trying my best to avoid thinking about the guy who was messing with my head—and my heart.
As if he had sensed my despair, Donovan entered Hot Shot less than five minutes later and sank into the chair across from mine. “Girl. I had a feeling I would find you here.” He glared at the half-eaten croissant. “Is that your pre-meet meal? Damn, it looks delicious.”
I shrugged. “Maybe. I was yearning for some comfort food. Rough night.”
He grabbed the sandwich and took a bite. “Don’t tell me. You know the guy I’ve been seeing?”
I nodded.
“It turns out he has a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend. He’s not sure if he’s ready to tell the world he’s gay.
And believe me, he’s like super gay. Even my own dad wouldn’t be able to deny the fact.
I can’t believe his girlfriend hasn’t picked up on the clues yet.
Anyway, I told him I refuse to be his dirty little secret. ”
“Fair enough. So, you’re back to being a free agent?”
He slouched lower in his seat. “I guess. It sucks.”
Cassidy brought him a cup of tea before he even had to order. We clinked our mugs.
“Welcome to the club. Men are complicated,” I said.
“You tell me, girl, you tell me.”
We both burst into contagious laughter.
“Wanna tell me what kept you up all night?”
I dragged a hand over my face. “I’m not ready yet. I gotta put some order into my messy thoughts—and life—first.”
“Okay.” He surveyed the space around us. “Why didn’t you tell me Carl was back being his stalker self this morning?”
I tossed a balled napkin at him. “Shhh. He’ll hear you.
I really do think he has a crush on Cassie.
She told me the other day she thinks he’s adorable, for a guy who dresses like he’s forty years older than his actual age.
There’s no future for them, but as long as it’s just an innocent crush, there’s no harm. ”
“Cassie would eat him alive. The poor guy stands no chance. Also, she called him adorable. That’s a dead end right there.”
I sighed, watching in Carl’s direction with my chin resting on my fist, my elbow propped up on the table. “I have to agree on this one. He always stares at her like she’s some sort of celebrity. It’s kinda cute, though.”
“For a twelve-year-old.”
My smile dipped as memories of Mason and me playing basketball and having dinner together the day I’d moved to Elk River flashed through my mind, followed by the words he had spoken last night.
I once told you I was in love with you…that I’ve been for years.
Since I was eleven years old, to be precise.
I don’t see that changing in the near future.
Oh, Mason. I wanted to see him, to talk to him.
How did he manage in just one day to jeopardize all my resolves when it came to him?
Cassidy was right, I wasn’t done with him, no matter what our story would look like from now on.
My thoughts started spinning. Would I be able to avoid putting pressure on myself if we rekindled what we once had?
Would I be able to be unapologetically myself without second-guessing my appearance and my life in general?
Gosh, there was so much at stake and so many uncertainties about us.
It felt as if everyone was asking me to come to terms with my feelings, but the truth was, I would deal with them on my own terms. When I was ready.
Baby steps, as my roommates had said. I should go slow and see how it evolved.
Could I do that, though? The thought didn’t send me into a spiral of panic or make me want to drop weight, so it was good—really good.
Luciana would approve. The realization soothed something inside me.
“Earth to Melinda.”
Donovan’s voice brought me back to the present. I blinked a few times. “What?”
“I was asking if you were ready to go. We’ll need a proper breakfast and some pre-meet visualization and warm up before we board the bus at noon.”
“I need to grab my bag from my dorm room first. We could go for a light jog or do some yoga.” We stood, and Donovan went to discard our plates, mugs, and food wrappers. “Are you walking me to my place?”
“Yes. You know how stressed I get before a meet. You’re stuck with me until we get there.” He snaked his arm through mine.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”