Chapter 21 #3
He traced the side of my cheek with his knuckles, sending shivers through my entire being.
“The pressure is worse than ever. I’ve hurt my shoulder twice so far this season, and we still have months to go.
I cannot not be at the top of my game. It’s also my future I’m gonna jeopardize if I can’t make it work like it’s supposed to.
I’ve done everything to heal it once and for all, and it’s still stiff most of the time.
Physical therapy, new training regimen, stretching, ice baths, plenty of rest, heat therapy, over-the-counter anti-inflammatories, tapping, painkiller injections.
Nothing works long enough. I’m desperate.
I just needed a boost. Something to help with the pain and stiffness for a little while so I could push through.
It’s not like they’re gonna drug-test us now.
They did a few weeks ago, and unless they have suspicions, we’re good for the rest of the season.
It’s not forever. I woke up earlier and couldn’t fall back asleep, no matter how much I wished to.
The pain radiated up to my neck and down to my elbow.
The team doctor shot me with cortisone at the beginning of the season, but the relief didn’t last for more than a week.
What am I supposed to do? Tell me because I’m clueless. ”
“Oh, Mase. I wished you had told me how bad it was.”
“Nobody knows. Not even Craig. You better not say anything.”
“I won’t. But I wanna help you. Remember when you said you swam laps in junior year after you hurt your elbow?
Maybe we could give aquatic therapy a try.
I could coach you. Help you through it the same way you helped me after my surgery last year.
I have the keys to the pool so I can practice when I need to or according to my schedule.
We could meet there early in the morning, or when we have some time off, and give it a try. What do you have to risk?”
“Everything. Don’t you understand? Everything I’ve ever worked my ass off for is on the line.
How am I supposed to get recruited to play for the big league after I graduate if I can’t even get my shoulder in check now?
My entire future depends on my ability to throw the ball like I’ve always done.
I can’t slack off, or else I’ll be benched and will see all my dreams crash and burn before my eyes.
I won’t let it happen… I can’t let it happen.
It would kill me. This is the only thing I’m good at. I’m nothing without football.”
“False. You are everything because you are you, Mason Pierce. Nobody can steal your mind or your heart away. They are yours to keep. You only think football is your life because you haven’t given anything else a chance. Don’t belittle yourself and your skills. I won’t let you.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, and I could feel the tug-of-war going on inside his mind.
“Breathe, okay? There are solutions. Drugs are not one. How long has it been going on?”
He slid his hands to my hips and pulled me closer as if he needed to be connected to me somehow. “I’m not answering that.”
“Come on. You’re not six anymore. Answer the question, Mase.”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because I wanna know what we’re dealing with.”
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to my shoulder, exhaling a shaky breath that spread through my entire body. “Five times.”
“Truth?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. We can deal with five times. It’s not too late to turn things around. The outbursts, the restless leg syndrome, the jitters, the mood swings, they were all just side effects, right?”
He shrugged, his forehead still glued to my shoulder. “I guess. No idea. Maybe.”
I combed his hair back with my fingers, enjoying how he relaxed against me, trusting me with his truth.
A low sob filled the silence, and it brought a fresh batch of tears to my eyes.
“We’ll figure something out. I swear. I won’t let you down. No matter what, you have me.”
He circled my waist with his arms, erasing the remaining distance between us, his sobs decreasing. “I know. I-I’m sorry for deceiving you. I never wanted you to see me like this…broken and desperate.”
“You are not broken. It’s just a setback. You’re gonna be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Duh, because you’re Mason Pierce, what else?”
We both burst into a low fit of laughter. “Geez, and now you sound just like me.”
I smiled despite myself. “What can I say? I learned from the best. Wanna go back to bed?”
He bobbed his head before tipping it back and meeting my eyes. “Don’t lose hope in me, Mel. Please. I’m fucking scared right now.”
“I won’t.”
With his hand nestled in mine, we lay back on the mattress, and Mason brought the covers over us.
I could feel his new erection pressing against my ass cheeks.
“This time, it’s all because of you. Not the drug.”
“Oh.”
He splayed his hand across my lower belly, toying with the waistband of my panties with his fingers. “Want me to relieve you too?”
“Nah. Tonight is all about you.”
“I wish you would let me show you just how much you mean to me.”
He pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder, and I relaxed against him.
With his strong arms wrapped around me, we chased sleep for the little time we had left before real life pierced our bubble once again and reality became unavoidable.