Chapter 25 #2
I shook my head a few times. “I don’t want to mess up the team. If Mase learns about his teammate threatening me or giving me any kind of trouble, he’ll want to deal with him, and he can’t jeopardize his future. I won’t risk it. Things are already complicated enough as it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“Some stuff he’s dealing with. Also, guys on the team are giving him a hard time because they lost a few games, and they wanted the other guy to be the starting quarterback this year, but he’s injured, and that’s why Mase took his spot.
I guess it’s easier to blame the freshman when you lose than to admit you played like shit.
Mase has always had a hard time letting down people he cares about.
And his team is his top priority, so he’s taking it pretty hard and feels responsible every time they lose or when things don’t go as planned. ”
“It all makes sense why you wanna keep quiet. But about Evan Nichols, if I were Mason, I’d wanna know if one of my teammates was bullying my girlfriend, no?”
“It’s complicated. Also, I’m not his girlfriend.”
“Not yet. From what you’ve told me and all the nights you’ve been staying at his place lately, it’s just a matter of time.
I gave her a pointed look.
“You know what I mean.”
“Whatever. Things got weird today. Anyway, I won’t tell anyone, so Nichols doesn’t have anything to worry about.” I paused. “Do you think he could be the one who is stalking you or who sent that bouquet?”
“No. He would have no reason to scare me. No matter what he said. I’m of no interest to him.”
“Don told me that some guys cornered him at the gym. They didn’t really threaten him per se, but they used homophobic slurs and said stuff about him not being man enough to lift weights.
Nothing super original. You know Donovan.
He wasn’t too affected by it. They never said anything that could link their verbal assault to me—or Nichols—so he has no idea it’s all related. ”
“Whoa. The lengths people go to hide their true selves. It’s kinda pathetic when you think about it.
They’re so miserable that they feel like bullying will fix what they believe is fucked up inside them.
” She huffed a long breath. “Typical. Sorry I’m being all psychological on you.
It’s just both fascinating and troubling how human beings can be sometimes.
I forgot to tell you I talked to Carl earlier. ”
“You did? How did it go?”
“Okay. As I said, he doesn’t fit the profile of a stalker. I think you were right, though, and he has a giant crush on me.”
“Did he admit it?”
“No, but he said we should go for a walk sometimes. And his face got all red when he suggested it.”
“A walk?”
“Yeah. I think it’s his way of asking me out.”
“Wow.”
“You got as far as having a guy matching his Halloween costume to yours, a magician and his magic wand casting a love spell on you, and a real-size hot dog professing his love to you in front of your class, and I got asked out on a walk.” She hid her face with her palms before dropping them to her thighs.
“I really need a boyfriend. Do you think Mason has some decent friend he could match me with?”
“No idea. I’ll ask him.”
“Have you talked to him since the hot dog love declaration?”
“Nope. Let’s just say today has been busy.
I’m not sure what to say to him. He thinks I want a grand gesture, but I want reassurance.
I shouldn’t be thinking about dating right now.
After everything I’ve been through, I should make myself the priority.
Anyway, my head and my heart don’t agree.
Until they come to an understanding, I’m keeping him in the friend zone. ”
“Ouch. Not a place any guy wants to be.”
“I know.”
“Do you feel like being with him could trigger your eating disorder again? Maybe that’s why you’re reluctant to get together because clearly, you have feelings for him that you’re not ready to admit out loud.”
“I thought about it, and I think I used it as an excuse at first. I’m not so sure anymore.
I don’t feel not good enough around him like I used to, but I’ve been scarred in the past, so I’m being extra careful—maybe a little too much.
If it were possible, I’d prefer being friends with him without all the love stuff because it makes me anxious just thinking about us being intimate or kissing.
If we do, there will be no turning back.
Deep down, I know it. Also, I’m not sure we can stay just friends, even though I keep telling him that’s what I wish for. ”
“Give yourself some time.”
“I feel bad about what happened earlier. You should have seen his face. His declaration of love was just too much to handle in front of an audience.” When I had walked her to Hot Shot earlier, I’d updated her on what had gone down in my sociology class.
“It feels like everyone is asking me to come to terms with my feelings these days, but I’ll face them when I’m ready.
Otherwise, I’ll panic, and when I panic, I tend to run away. ”
She took my hand between hers. “It’s okay. Go at your own pace. There is no rush. Talk to him.”
A single nod. “I will.”
“What are you going to do with his teammate?”
“I’ll see how it goes. I would almost like him to come to Lola’s once more to see if he tries to intimidate me again.”
Cassidy flopped back onto her bed, placing her bent arm over her eyes, and sighed.
The phone rang, and she jumped to her feet to answer.
“Hello? Helllllo? Seriously, prank someone else. I’m tired of dealing with this.
” She paused, and her eyes grew big. She cursed and hung up. “I thought we were done with these.”
“Me too. It’s been a while. What did they say?”
“They called me a stupid slut. Some days, it feels like life is prepping me for my future career or testing me. The phone calls, Carl, the stalker, the guy harassing you. I’ll have enough material to write a novel—or a biography—before I even graduate.
At least my term paper should be interesting.
Let’s get out of here. I need shots. There’s a party on Greek Row. We should go.”
“I don’t feel like dancing.”
“We’re not going to dance, roomie, we’re going to get drunk.” She pulled at my arm. “Come on. We both need a change of air. One night out won’t kill you.”