Chapter 43 #2
I exchanged a glance with my brother and closed my eyes, wishing I was dreaming the entire scene.
I was completely trapped. My heart sank inside my chest, and I prayed the floor would open and swallow me whole.
This was bad. Way worse than the time Melinda or even Craig had found out the truth.
Why had I assumed he would rat me out? What was wrong with me?
I’d been so nervous about getting caught the last time after Nichols’s encounter that I’d ended up exposing myself.
Tremors ran through my body. I started shaking, and I wasn’t even cold.
My nerves deserted me. Whatever fake bravado I had left dissolved on the spot.
I didn’t feel like cracking jokes anymore.
“I’ve got you, bro. I love you,” Craig whispered in my direction. “Don’t do or say anything stupid, okay? I have your back… Always. We can get you through this…huh, maybe.”
I offered him a half-nod, still searching for bits of courage scattered inside me. To no avail. I had none left.
“You better start talking now, boys, or neither of you is playing the next game, and you’re not going back to Crestwood anytime soon. You’ll spend the winter break at home until we get to the bottom of this.”
“Mommm. You can’t do this. I’m the starting QB. The team counts on us.” My outrage fell flat. Just shut up, Mase.
“Watch me.”
I felt tiny as she watched me, her eyes like laser beams ready to dissect me.
“It’s…it’s not what it sounded like. No need to go all prison-guard on us.
” I hated myself in that instant. Once again, I should have kept my mouth shut instead of trying to be a smartass.
With every word, I was only digging a deeper grave for myself.
My folks weren’t stupid. They would never let me walk out of here unless I told them something. It didn’t have to be the full truth, but it had to be believable enough for them to think I spoke the truth. Geez, I was such a lame liar.
My brain was overactive, coming up with scenarios that didn’t even make sense.
I had to face the fact. I was screwed. I had screwed myself over like a true champion.
My blood froze in my veins.
Dad directed us to the living room without a word, his expression carved from marble.
I slouched into the couch as the first tear leaked from my eyes. Maybe if I showed some remorse, they’d cut me some slack for what I’d done—and understand why I did it. My shoulders slumped. No, there was no way out of this one.
Craig knew it too because he kept his glance down.
Nobody said anything for the longest time. I fidgeted with my fingers, not sure what to do with my hands, before stuffing them into the front pocket of my hoodie.
At some point, it was like my tongue had untied itself, and I spilled it all out. Every single little detail. I kept nothing to myself. I blurted out everything. From the cliff-jumping incident to wanting to take drugs the night my teammate had fucked me up.
When I was done, my parents looked like they’d seen a ghost.
“Mason… Why didn’t you come to us? Why would you think doping yourself was the solution to heal your shoulder? Why would you put that junk into your body? Ohmygod, my baby was drugging himself, and I had no idea.” Mom dabbed her eyes with a tissue.
I leaned closer and held her trembling hands between mine. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t want to worry you. I-I understand now how wrong I’ve been. It was never my intention to become a drug user.”
“Drug user. I never would’ve imagined those words coming out of your mouth. This is bad. Really bad. You could be an addict. How did you let it get this far?”
“Mom, I’m not an addict. It was just a few times. A desperate measure because I couldn’t see a way out of this…situation. Not a habit. And I stopped. I’ve been clean for weeks now.”
“Do you even hear yourself? You’re talking like it’s nothing. It’s a big deal. A huge deal.”
“Mason, we could have helped you if you had confided in us sooner before it got too far…before it got that far.”
“Mom, I…I didn’t think, okay? I was so ashamed of myself for letting my shoulder affect my game. With pool therapy, I really was doing better… Until…until Nichols happened. He messed it all up. I know there’s no valid excuse…”
My father watched us with his arms folded over his chest, his posture rigid.
“You can’t lose that scholarship, Mase. If you wanna go pro, this is your only chance.
Why would you screw this up? Why would you jeopardize everything you’ve worked so hard for?
Please enlighten me because it makes no sense to me.
What the heck were you thinking, son? I’m so disappointed in you right now.
Disappointed in your choices. I’m two seconds away from paying your coaches a visit.
That’s what you would deserve for acting like such an idiot.
Your health, Mase. For God’s sake, son. I’m so mad right now.
I…I thought we taught you better. Your head’s usually screwed on straight.
You’re smarter than this… Gosh, you’re better than this.
How could you think you could heal it all by yourself without outside help… medical help. Not drugs.”
I stared at the floor. Never had I deceived my parents in such a flamboyant way before. Compared to this, playing a lame football game felt like a perfect day.
Craig, sitting on the opposite couch, said nothing. Anyway, there was nothing he could do to fix my shame—or save the situation.
As if he could read my mind, Dad turned to him.
“And you.” He pointed an accusing finger at my brother.
“Why would you keep quiet about that? I thought you were the mature one. I’m so freaking angry at you too.
I can’t believe you lied to protect your brother.
There will be consequences, boys. I just haven’t decided what they will be yet.
I gotta consult with your mother first. In private.
” He shook his head, looking defeated. “You’re smarter than this, guys. ”
More tears clouded my vision. I had not only jeopardized my life and my sport, but I had also put my brother in trouble for something that didn’t even concern him.
Melinda, with her sick sense of timing, walked through the front door. Her smile dipped when she took in the scene. She blinked fast. “Huh…you guys look busy. I-I can come back later.”
Mom moved to her feet to greet her. “How are you doing, honey?”
“Better.”
“I’m so sorry about what you’ve been through. I’m glad you’re doing good.”
“What is this?” My girlfriend locked eyes with me. “What is going on? Did someone die?”
My mom offered her a tiny smile. “An intervention, honey. No one died. I think you’re involved too.”
“I am?”
I shook my head, hoping she would understand that she needed to get away from here.
Instead, she followed my mom and sat next to me, pushing her small hand between mine.
“Mase? Care to tell me what’s going on?” Now my bad judgment would also shadow her.
Just how much more of an idiot could I be?
My stupidity was affecting the ones I loved the most, and they had done nothing wrong. They’d only kept my fuck-ups quiet.
“It’s over, love. I messed up, and I gotta pay the price.”
“What do you mean?”
“Melinda, what do you know about Mason’s drug use?” Could my mom be any blunter? She went straight for the jugular, not missing a beat.
All color drained from my girlfriend’s face. “Huh…I…can…well…”
I squeezed her hand. “It’s okay. I told them everything.”
She blinked a few times. “You did?”
I bobbed my head. “Yep. Like a stupid fool. I blurted it all out. Long story.”
“What now?” She focused on my mom. “He’s not doing this shit anymore. He hasn’t taken anything in a long time. I’ve been keeping an eye on him.”
Shame crippled me. I swallowed. How much worse could it get? I was done lying. “I haven’t…but I almost did the night of the attack... I was in so much pain. I know it’s no excuse. You were hurting just as much. You had pain meds, though… I didn’t.”
“But you said you were done and you got rid of your stash. You promised.”
“Technically, I did, but in real life…that’s not exactly how it went down.
I kept three vials…as a back-up plan or something.
” By now, my grave was at least a dozen feet deep.
Fresh tears blurred my vision. “I didn’t mean to take them, but I don’t know…
I never threw them all away like I said I did. ”
She leaped to her feet and pressed her fists to her hips, her face a mask of pain and betrayal, the weight of what I’d done clouding her eyes.
“Mason Pierce, you lied to me. In my face. After we said no more lies. Are you kidding me? Earlier, you called me out on my bullshit, but you’re no better.
You tricked me into believing something that wasn’t true. ”
I stood up and mimicked her posture. “Come on, hate me. That’s all I’ve succeeded at doing right so far tonight. Have everyone turn on me.” I grabbed her hands, and she let me.
“I’m not sure I can keep doing this. You gotta straighten things out. I won’t watch you throw your life away.”
She spun around, ready to leave, but I tightened my grip on her hands, refusing to let her go.
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“But we’re supposed to have dinner together…to drive back to Crestwood later tonight. Move in together for the holidays.”
“As of now, I don’t wanna be around you. Maybe we really need that break after all.”
“No. Don’t say that.”
“Fix your life, Mase. I love you, but I can’t deal with you and your lies right now.
You gave me that whole speech earlier about being honest and opening up and trusting each other, and all this time, you were doing the exact opposite.
It’s a bit hypocritical coming from you, don’t you think?
” After a beat, she looked away, building a wall between us.
I sensed it in the way her hands became slack in mine, the dejected look painting her face, and the hollow curve of her spine.