Chapter Sixteen
BAX
The Hard and Heavy Live show’s logo hangs on stage, bright yellow with a warming glow. Dozens of people mill around backstage and the din in the front of the house increases as the audience takes their seats.
Anger, annoyance, and the feigned indifferent politeness Layne and I are coexisting in, tempers my excitement at being here. Soren, Tyler, and I didn’t fly out with my bandmates, and we’re not staying at the same hotel, so the first time I saw the band was at soundcheck a little while ago.
Today, I guess Layne and I are going to do what we’ve done for the last month. Show up, be polite to each other, mainly speak to Gavin and Everett, play music, and leave. No jokes, or stories, or hugs, or fun.
We can’t maintain this forever. Something has to give, but what? And who?
The first band runs onstage. Cracking open my bottle of water, I find an unobtrusive corner to watch their set. And if it keeps me away from Layne, all the better.
“There you are.” Clad in black jeans and a black tee that hugs his muscles, Everett hustles my way. “I need to talk to you.”
“Sure.” I push away from my seat on an empty crate. “What’s going on?”
He grabs my forearm, tugging me down the hall to the dressing room. “Social media comments from fans who’ve seen our shows since the blowup between you and Layne have said our performances seem more robotic, that there’s less chemistry and enthusiasm. They’re right.”
I shrug because I don’t know what to say. Of course our chemistry and enthusiasm is off.
He opens the door and urges me in ahead of him.
“Over the last month, Gav and I have hoped you two would work things out, but that didn’t happen.
Then, we hoped you’d see each other at sound check today and realize things need to change.
That didn’t happen either. We’re about to be seen by Hard and Heavy Live’s massive audience.
So you and Layne need to get it together. Now.”
Sitting on the end of the couch, Gavin points to a stoic Layne staring at his reflection the mirror. “Exactly. You need to resolve this or we’re gonna lose our shot.”
I stand in front of Layne, angry and hurt, flummoxed over the things he said, but beneath it all, even though I’m furious and we haven’t really spoken in weeks, is a undercurrent of concern and caring for my friend.
His eyes sparking fire, Layne has a defiant jut to his chin. Legs splayed, and hands balled into fists at his sides, he’s ready to fight.
We stare at each other. And so many memories, good and bad, happy and frustrating, flash through my mind. I open my mouth, not sure where to begin.
His breath hitches and he collapses, falling into himself. His shoulders round forward as he wraps his arms around himself. Like water dousing a fire, the fight snuffs out of him. Watery eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry.”
Sadness and heartbreak hang heavy in his words.
Seeing Layne so upset, my anger deflates. I rush over, pulling him into a hug. “Me too.”
He clings to me, limbs shaking, repeating that he’s sorry.
Gavin and Everett join us, surrounding Layne with comfort.
“There’s a chemistry between us. We can’t replicate it,” Layne says, sniffling, as he leans back.
“I don’t want you to leave the band.” He grabs my hand, holding so tight my fingers tingle from the lack of blood flow.
“I don’t want to do this without you.” He turns his gaze to Gavin and Everett. “Any of you.”
“I want this to work. We’ve spent years working towards this, and I believe in us.” I squeeze his hand in a sort of reminder of our shared history. Our brotherhood. “You matter to me. But I have Soren and Ty now too. And I need you to be okay with that. With them.”
Layne nods, then ducks his head. “I was jealous.”
“Jealous? Why?” I can’t hide my surprise. In all the years Layne and I have been friends, there has never been jealousy around guys we’ve dated.
“I’ve had you right there with me since we were eight years old. And then, suddenly, I didn’t anymore. I was going through my own drama and it colored the way I viewed everything else.”
I wish I’d realized realized what was happening. I hate that he felt left out or like he didn’t matter anymore. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I see how happy you are with them. The way they look at you.” He pulls me into a hug, and the pressure from the last several weeks eases. “I’m really happy for you, Bax. I mean it.”
“Thanks.” Not wanting to let go, I hold on to my friend until he pushes out of my arms.
His smile turns wistful. “I kind of wish I had what you have.”
“No reason why you can’t.”
“I did, and then I lost it.” His tone is as soft as a whisper, and he seems almost lost. But then, he shakes his head and fists his hands. “It’s so stupid, getting so upset about a guy.”
“The one who inspired the song? You’ve kept it to yourself long enough.” I drape my arm over his shoulders and tuck him into my side. “Tell us. Who was it?”
His sigh is so forlorn, I swear we can all feel it. “Thorne.”
Everett’s eyes bug out. “The security guard we hired for you at the show on Halloween?”
“We had a real connection. He took me home, and we hooked up, saw each other for a couple of weeks. It was a whirlwind. I’d never felt that way before. I fell in love. And then he broke things off. Told me he couldn’t do this anymore.” He sniffs and winces and his voice breaks. “I chased him away.”
I bristle at some asshole making my best friend feel less than the talented, amazing person he is. “Why would you think it’s your fault?”
“I’m a lot to handle.”
“Fuck. No, you’re not.” Maybe I can get Thorne’s information from the security company and track the jerk down and… What? Shake him until he knows what a fool he is for giving up Layne? I breathe through my irrational, protective thoughts, and hug my friend closer.
“You sure about that?” He elbows me in the ribs. “I seem to remember you saying something about having to babysit me all the time. And that watching out for me is exhausting.”
Fuck. My stomach churns. I’m an even bigger asshole.
“I’m sorry I said that. You can’t take what I said when I was angry and hurt to heart.
” I spin him so we’re facing each other and clamp my hands on his shoulders.
“You know I don’t mind looking out for you because you look after me in return.
Your high energy and jumping from one thing to the next are what make you who you are, and I love you for it. ”
Eyes glassy, Layne bites his trembling lip and nods. My stomach keeps churning because I was no better than Thorne. Worse, in fact, because I know Layne’s insecurities, and I still said shitty things to him in anger.
“Ethically, the guard probably isn’t supposed to date the person they’re assigned to protect,” Gavin pipes up, defusing some of the tension.
“That never made any sense to me. If you look at the Sacred Band of Thebes, they believed couples would fight more fiercely for each other. If I were in love with someone, I’d burn the world down to save them.
” Like I was ready to burn down everything we’ve worked for as a band, and possibly my friendship when I felt like my relationship was being attacked.
So, maybe it’s not all positive. I need to find a balance.
“Same,” Layne says. “Anyway, I promise I’ve pulled my head out of my ass. I’ll be better.”
“Me too.” I give him a playful punch in the arm. “You mean so much to me. That’s never changing. I promise I’ll make more time for you.”
He pulls me into another hug and when he sniffles and wraps around me tighter, I hold on. “We’re good?”
I squeeze him harder. “Of course.”
Loud ringing startles me into knocking my chin into the top of Layne’s head. Rubbing the spot, he pulls away. “Ow.”
“Sorry.” Slinging my arm around his shoulder, I kiss the spot.
Gavin grabs Layne’s phone from the table. “Holy shit. It’s Luke Thompson.”
Layne stabs the button. “Hello?”
“Layne? Luke Thompson here. How are you and guys?”
“Luke, good to hear from you.” Layne turns wide eyes on all of us. “We’re all here together. Waiting to go on Jett’s show.”
“Jett’s always been a good friend to my band and our label.” Luke’s voice echoes like he’s in a large room. “I won’t keep you long, but Furious Records wants to offer Flame Shade a contract.”
My ears ring, and I’m sure I didn’t hear that correctly. We all look at each other with mouths agape. Layne’s the first to come back to his senses, and he pumps his fist in the air. Everett and Gavin grasp hands, and I reach for Layne, resting my hand on his shoulder.
Layne mouths Well?
The three of us nod.
He does one of his fancy footwork moves and spins, and I can’t help but laugh. Then he brings the phone closer to his mouth. “That’s amazing, Luke. Thank you so much. You’ve made our year.”
“Awesome, boys. I’ll send it over tonight. Take some time with it, and give me a call once you’ve had your attorney look at it. We’ll fly you out to LA so we can talk about it.”
Nodding at the phone, Layne’s smile gets wider and wider. “Thanks, Luke. We’ll do that.”
“I’ll let you go. Have a great show.”
The call ends.
We all stare at each other, and I think that this must be what stunned silence feels like.
With a cheer, Layne throws himself at me. "We fucking did it!”
“Damn right.” Laughing and so freaking happy, I squeeze him. Gavin flies in, throwing his arms around us, and Everett crashes in from the other side, knocking us all off balance.
The emotional ride from how this night started to now is wild.
The stage manager knocks with our five-minute warning, and the high from our call with Luke layers on top of the pre-show anticipation. I’m so full of energy, I could power our entire performance myself. I’m sure the guys feel the same way.
We make our way to the stage, laughing and talking, just like old times. It feels good to be settled again.