Chapter 55 I’m Sorry
I did not push him off. I only let him bite.
That pain could not cancel the bitterness he seemed to have been holding in.
Only after a long time did he let go.
Then he lifted a hand, fingertips shaking, and touched the tooth marks.
He pulled back as if burned and buried his face in my chest again.
His shoulders moved a little.
After a while, a muffled voice came.
He said, "Brother Ye, I'm sorry."
I could guess what he wanted to say.
But the one who should have been sorry had always been me.
If I had not treated him that way in the beginning.
Maybe we would not have gone through so many twists.
I had not told love from obsession.
I had mistaken possession for protection, and dressed appetite up as kindness.
He left carrying hate. I sank under the crime.
Time had not filled the gully; those sharp pains were still a sickness I did not dare touch.
His arms tightened a little. Warm breath brushed my skin.
Then he sank into sleep in my arms, his breathing going long.
I looked at the ceiling and felt that heavy weight on my chest.
After all that circling, what we had wanted had only ever been an embrace where we could rest.