Gang of Roses: Kash

Prologue - Covering A Rose

SOLENNE “KASH” SINCLAIR

For years, I woke up to my best friend’s smile, it was the best part of my day. If she wasn’t jumping on my bed screaming my name, the heffa was waking me up with her special pancakes. We were two peas in a pod. I loved that girl. It was bittersweet seeing her lay in that casket.

Rose was the sweetest person you could ever come across.

I hated that no one else would get to experience her the way the gang had.

One stupid mistake cost my girl her life, but you better believe I held my bitch down and avenged her within seconds of getting hit.

She just had to stall and spare that hoe.

Anger had been surging through my body since.

“We’ll now have a word from one of Rose’s good friend’s, Solenne. Solenne…” The chosen pastor gave me the floor.

Standing, I walked across the grass to the podium. I was irritated already seeing my girl in the casket. However, I would regret this day if I didn’t take the opportunity to speak my peace. This was the last thing I could do for my girl, so I was sending her home right.

Rose didn’t have many folks in her life she could call.

The gang held her down though. There wasn’t a person alive that could say we were anything but sisters.

We rode together, ate together, bled together, even fell together.

This sisterhood was something we built brick by brick and we refused to let it go.

It was just unfortunate that one of us was parting before our time.

Looking into the small crowd, my focus landed on my sisters.

While Dice and I were bonus sisters to Rose, Rebel was her blood.

I was an only child, so I didn’t know how the whole sisterhood worked until they taught me the ropes.

I learned how to love someone other than myself, dependency, and the real definition of family with these women.

They were all I had, there was no denying that.

I watched tears race down their faces. The hurt was evident.

We lost the glue to our sisterhood and there was no getting her back.

I couldn’t even form the words I’d rehearsed for days on end.

It was like a rock was plunged in my throat and I had to suffer through it. This was a pain I’d never get over.

The pastor stepped up behind me and whispered in my ear, “Solenne, it’s alright. If you can’t do it, we can move on.”

“No. I need to do this… just give me a minute.”

He nodded, and I stood there gathering myself. When I looked back to my girls, they both followed the pastor’s head nod gesture.

I returned it before saying, “Rose was a chick I met in a bar one night giving grown men the blues. God, she was putting them down left and right with Rebel right beside her. That night me and Dice jumped in for the hell of it and had a ball. We were so young. Freshmen in college if I’m being specific.

That was also the night our gang was formed.

Once we got out of jail the following morning, we realized everybody was into bikes and knew how to get busy on one. ”

Both Rebel and Dice cracked smiles. Me and my girls really did have a grand old time that night. When the officers arrived, they thought because we were women we were getting abused.

Imagine their surprise when they realized we were the aggressors.

“Here we are years later burying the heart of it. I don’t want to question God but I’m asking…

Why her? Her presence could turn a mood from gloom to happy.

I’m gon’ miss her laugh, her rants, and damn sure the meals that kept us all fed.

She is and forever will be irreplaceable.

Gang of Roses is and always will be home, not just for her but all of us.

To my dear sister, I bid you farewell. Tell my dad I’m trying my best. I love you, baby girl. ”

Stepping away from the podium, I placed my bouquet of yellow roses on her casket.

This was tailored to our girl for real. While I sported everything green, Rose took on yellow, Dice with red, and Rebel strictly gold.

We never steered away either. Moments later, I took a seat in between Dice and Rebel.

This was hard for all of us, but Rebel lost the only person that knew her inside and out. I felt so bad for her.

“Y’all my sisters for life. I love y’all,” I whispered.

“You know how I feel, sis’. It’s gon’ always be love,” Dice replied.

“Blood don’t make us family, sis’. You know what it is,” Rebel added.

We went through a lot together and although we all agreed on our lifestyle, we never thought it would come to this.

We knew the risk and still stayed because we had each other.

This situation was one we didn’t ever think would come to the forefront.

It threw us all for a loop and now we were grieving a sister.

The pastor finished going through the program we set up. I could barely keep my composure when he read the eulogy. We all knew how this would end, but I didn’t think I could handle seeing her lowered into the ground forever.

“Look, I’m ‘bout to roll out,” I said grabbing my helmet.

Rebel was on her feet right behind me, with Dice following suit. They followed me down the aisle trying to keep up. I was over this shit. One thing I would never accept was lowering any of my sisters into a hole she would be confined to. If they wanted to stay for that, then so be it.

With my arm being grabbed, I was stopped in my tracks and swung around.

Seeing that it was Dice, I rolled my eyes before snatching myself loose.

I didn’t want to shift blame, but she was making it very hard not to do so.

I really wanted to put a hot one in her, but I would lose my shit for real if I lost another sister.

“Don’t ever put yo’ hands on me again, Dice. I ain’t fuckin’ with you right now!” I shouted with my finger pointed in her face.

Slapping my hand out her face, she closed the small gap by getting in mine. “I ain’t fuckin’ with you right now either, bitch… or her,” she said referring to Rebel. “I came to pay my respects and bury my sister, not get tore down by you or her.”

“I ain’t said shit to you, so why am I in it?” Rebel chimed. “You know what… I ain’t even ‘bout to go back and forth with you, bitch. I’m putting my sister in the fuckin’ ground right now.”

“Don’t even trip, Rebel, it is what it is. We’re all here for the same reason, so I’m gon’ let Dice have it. I’d hate to bury another one of us,” I said walking away.

“Likewise, hoe,” Dice commented. She was going to have the last word no matter who the conversation, debate, or argument was with. She wouldn’t let it go if she didn’t.

Despite us being at each other’s necks, these bitches weren’t going anywhere. Anytime I called, I could expect both of them to answer. This was just a tragic moment for us that we were all trying to endure. Our world had come to a complete stop, and we had no clue on what to do.

As we strolled up to our bikes, I turned around with glossy eyes. I never wanted to fight with my sisters because they were all the family I had left. If I had to bite my tongue to keep our family together, then so be it. However, I was getting the hell up out of here.

“So, you just gon’ leave? That’s that selfish shit I be talking ‘bout. We trying to put Rose to rest and you walking away like she ain’t meant shit to you!” Dice shouted.

“Fuck you, Global!” I shouted addressing her by her government name. Since she wanted to have a shouting fest, I was up for it. “Rose meant everything to me. I loved her,” I said letting my words trail off.

Rebel chuckled at our dysfunction with tears racing down her face.

I had no idea what was running through her mind at the moment.

Being an only child meant my emotions for others were misplaced.

However, when it came to Rose, Rebel, and Dice, I would tear down a fuckin’ building behind them without question.

Rebel shared her blood but dammit we were just as close.

I grew up with Dice, but when me and Rose met, it was an instant connection.

That was my ace, and it wasn’t shit nobody could tell me.

“Yeah, I can’t do this shit. If y’all want to stand here and do all this goofy crap, then so be it. I don’t give a fuck what y’all do from here on out. Since y’all ‘bout respect so much today, is meeting here for my sister birthday too much?”

Both Dice and I dropped our heads while nodding in unison.

“Cool. Get the fuck on man.”

Rebel continued to walk away, and something tugged at my heart so bad I just couldn’t let her. I yelled at her back to try my best to get her to stop. She ignored me until she couldn’t.

“Rain. Rain!” I called out.

“What Kash? What?” she threw back with nothing but rage on her tongue.

“We don’t leave sisters,” I stated choking up.

Being here was causing more distance between us than anything, but I knew for a fact hurt was something we all had coursing through our veins.

Depending on her response, I’d know if I still had a sisterhood.

I could see Rebel fighting back more tears.

Anybody with eyes could tell that she was done with this sisterhood shit, but her heart wouldn’t allow it.

I needed her to fight her inner thoughts and think about everything we’d been through.

“Not on the road,” Dice chimed.

“Not in prison,” I added.

Rebel’s head fell back to the sky as her chest heaved. When she finally gave me and Dice eye contact, she had the waterworks flowing double time. My little sister was breaking down right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do.

Rain was indeed the rebellious one out the crew, but she was also the most emotional. Rose comforted her in ways we didn’t know how. She understood her in ways we didn’t as well. Not being funny but Rose was our interpreter for everything Rebel.

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” Dice voiced.

If Rebel wanted to truly end this shit here, then that was something we’d have to deal with.

Sighing deeply, she finished with, “And not in the ground. Pretty as a flower.”

“Solid as concrete,” Dice and I spoke in unison.

A weight was lifted off my shoulders as the reassurance of still having my sisters settled. I straddled my bike, placing my helmet on my head. I was done with this as a whole. I needed a minute to myself where I could be vulnerable without judgement.

Once again, I was grabbed by the wrists from Dice. “Solenne, I know you ain’t leaving for real. We’re not only here for Rose but Rain, too. She needs us right now. Stay and put them first for once.”

“You got the nerve to come at me crazy ‘bout some shit you fucked up. Rose would still be here if it wasn’t for you, Dice. You don’t move a muscle if you ain’t got a pair of stilettos and red lipstick on.

You can remember that but when it came to double checking the fuckin’ plan, you dropped the ball. ”

“Oh, you don’t want me to get started on rituals, bitch.”

Throwing her hands up, she stopped herself from going down that route.

“You know what… fuck you.”

With that she walked away finally leaving me alone.

After double checking my gear, I started my bike.

She was an emerald Yamaha YZF-R7. I called her the Green Goblin simply because my girl came through putting shit down.

She could terrorize any biker that thought they could hang with her.

And not to brag, she got me out of a lot of shit before cuffs became my new fashion.

Before I knew it, I’d hit the road and was hit with memory after memory of Rose.

I’d held up as best I could in front of the girls, but this was a pain that could never be duplicated.

I lost a best friend, a fuckin’ sister. Shit, if I was being honest, a soulmate.

Rose saw me in a way even Dice couldn’t.

Rose was my better half, and I lost her due to one small mistake.

The further I got down the road, the more my vision became blurry. I was bawling underneath my helmet. I felt like somebody ripped my heart out my chest and was just squeezing the fuck out of it.

She didn’t deserve that.

My vision was so impaired I had no choice but to pull over on the highway.

“Dammit Rose. Why did you have to spare that bitch?” I screamed pulling off my helmet then throwing it into the woods.

I leaned onto my bike and allowed every piece of me to shatter without restriction. Every ounce of pain was heard in the cries I released. These were tears I didn’t even give my father. It was something about this death that hit different.

Time and time again, I would tell Rose how her kindness would get her in trouble.

If only she had the balls to put bitches down no matter the reason, she would still be by our side.

I spared no one when my sisters were involved.

Their lives came first. I’d put down the family dog behind them because the love I carried for them wouldn’t allow me to see them harmed in any shape, form, or fashion.

“I miss you like crazy, Rose,” I whispered touching the yellow patch on my jacket that was dedicated to her. I was trying my best to contain my emotions but damn I selfishly wanted her here.

Magnolia was home to all of us, but now it was a place of pain. I no longer wanted any parts of it. I had no reason to be here if I was being honest. I retrieved my helmet and was back on my bike within moments. I didn’t know where I was going, but I was getting the hell out of Magnolia Valley.