Rain “Rebel” Crawford #2
For the first time since he’d put his hands on me, he looked vulnerable, so I didn’t waste the opportunity.
Still struggling to catch my breath, I put more distance between us, my chest rising and falling as I sucked in lungfuls of air.
My throat throbbed from where he’d choked me, but the pain only fueled the rage burning inside me.
Not wasting another second, I reached into my baggy pants and pulled out my Glock.
My hands shook from the alcohol, adrenaline, and pure hatred coursing through my veins, but my aim never wavered.
I raised the weapon and pointed it directly at his chest. The rain continued to pound against us as we stood there staring at each other.
One wrong move and somebody was leaving that cemetery in a body bag.
“Try that shit again,” I warned, my finger hovering near the trigger. “I dare you.”
Titan slowly straightened up, one hand still covering his groin while the other wiped the blood trickling from the side of his head. Despite the gun pointed at him, a smug grin spread across his face.
“You gonna really shoot your own pops?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Over a little disagreement?”
I tightened my grip on the Glock and stared him dead in the eyes.
“You stopped being my pops a long time ago,” I shot back. “The day you chose the streets over your daughters was the day you lost that title.”
I cocked my head to the side. “So don’t stand there acting like blood is supposed to mean something to me now.”
“Go ahead then. Pull the trigger. Let’s see if you got the guts to kill the man who helped bring you into this world.”
A cold laugh escaped my lips. “You got a lot of nerve calling yourself my father. Last time I checked, fathers actually raise their kids. Fathers protect them. Fathers show up.” I took a step closer, keeping the Glock trained on his chest, and continued giving him a piece of my mind.
“You weren’t there when Rose and I needed you. You weren’t there when we went hungry. You weren’t there when life kept kicking our asses. The only thing you ever did consistently was disappoint us. So don’t confuse biology with loyalty, Titan. The only thing you gave me was your last name.”
That nigga had me so pissed off, I was ready to drop his body right next to my big sister’s grave and not give a fuck. The only thing that stopped me from riddling him with bullets was the sound of motorcycles pulling up.
Keeping my Glock trained on Titan, I turned toward the noise to see who it was and immediately spotted two people I damn sure didn’t want to see in the fucked-up state of mind I was in.
Still, I knew exactly why they were there.
They had come to pay their respects to Rose.
They always showed up when it mattered. The rain was coming down hard enough to make riding dangerous, but that hadn’t stopped either one of them from getting on their bikes and making the trip.
That’s how much my sister had meant to them.
They didn’t share the same blood, but we were close.
Dice swung her leg off her MTT Y2K/420RR, and I couldn’t help but notice she was still rocking her red bottoms. Rain, snow, or blazing heat, it didn’t matter. At this point, she needed those damn shoes more than oxygen, which had become a running joke between all of us.
A few feet behind her, Kash climbed off her Ducati 959 and immediately took in the scene unfolding before us.
My eyes drifted to the green eyeliner she was wearing.
It was her lucky color, and she rarely went anywhere important without it.
The sight of it hit me harder than expected because she hadn’t been wearing it the day Rose died.
I don’t know why I remembered something so small, but grief had a funny way of holding on to details nobody else cared about.
The second their eyes landed on Titan, their expressions hardened.
They already knew about the bad blood between my father and me.
Hell, everybody close to us did. So, when they saw me standing there in the pouring rain with a Glock pointed at his chest, neither of them looked surprised.
If anything, they looked disappointed that they hadn’t gotten there sooner.
While Titan wiped the blood from the side of his head and flashed that same arrogant grin that made me want to pull the trigger even more.
“I see you brought it back up,” Titan said, not giving a fuck.
“Nigga, shut the fuck up before I end you,” I threatened before shifting my attention to Dice and Kash. “What the fuck y’all want?”
Dice folded her arms across her chest and stared at me like I’d lost my damn mind. “What do we want?” she repeated. “Nigga, we came to visit Rose. The same reason we come every year.”
Kash’s eyes flicked from me to Titan and then back again. “The better question is why the hell you’re standing over a grave with a Glock pointed at your father’s head.”
I clenched my jaw. “Mind your business.”
“The hell we will,” Dice snapped. “You think Rose would’ve wanted you catching a body at her gravesite?”
My grip tightened around the gun. “Don’t bring my sister into this.”
“Why not?” Kash shot back. “You’re the one standing at her grave ready to paint the grass with this fool’s brains.”
Titan chuckled under his breath. “See? Even they think you’re being dramatic.”
“Say another fucking word,” I warned.
The smile slowly disappeared from Titan’s face when he realized I wasn’t bluffing.
For a moment, nobody spoke. The only sounds were the rain tapping against the headstones and the distant rumble of thunder overhead.
Then Dice stepped forward, her voice softer than before, trying to speak some sense into my black ass.
“Rose wouldn’t want this, Rebel.”
That hit harder than any punch ever could.
“You don’t know what she would’ve wanted. Just like you didn’t know how not to fuck up the mission. You had one job.”
The words came out cold and meant to hurt. “Rebel, you know that’s not fair,” Dice said sincerely. “I beat myself up every day over what happened, but how the fuck was I supposed to know that one of the guards took time off?”
I knew she was hurting. Hell, I knew she loved Rose like they shared the same blood.
Losing Rogue had affected all of us differently.
No matter how many years passed, we had spent the rest of our lives carrying the weight of her death.
Some wounds never healed. They just became part of who you were.
Still, my anger refused to let up, and the alcohol burning through my system wasn’t helping either.
I wanted her to know all the pain that had been eating me alive since the day we buried my sister.
I laughed bitterly. “Do you?” I asked. “Because from where I’m standing, it seems like everybody moved the fuck on except me.”
“That’s not true,” Kash cut in.
“The hell it isn’t.” My voice rose. “Y’all go home to your families. Y’all laugh, celebrate birthdays, take vacations, and live your damn lives.” I paused for a second, my chest heaving as I pointed toward Rose’s headstone. “My sister doesn’t get to do any of that shit.”
Silence fell over the cemetery. Even Titan had enough sense to keep his mouth shut. My chest tightened as I stared at Rose’s name carved into the stone.
“She was supposed to be here,” I said, my voice cracking despite my efforts to stop it. “She was supposed to grow old. She was supposed to be an aunt to my kids. She was supposed to be here.”
“Don’t you think I know that, Rebel?” Dice shot back.
“It’s been four years, and I still beat myself up about what happened.
” She shook her head and wiped the rain from her face.
“I know it looks like I don’t care because I don’t break down the way you do.
I know it probably seems like I’ve moved on, but that’s not the case.
” Dice’s voice softened, and she continued talking.
“I’ve just seen so much death that I learned how to shut parts of myself off.
It’s how I survive. It’s how I’ve always survived.
“But don’t ever mistake that for me not caring.
Not when it comes to Rose. I loved her, too, Rebel.
And there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could change what happened. ”
Kash finally stepped forward, her green eyeliner streaked slightly from the rain. “Don’t mistake survival for not caring, Rebel. Some of us learned a long time ago how to keep living after burying the people we love.”
“Whatever,” I waved them off.