Gangland: A Hood Love Story

Prologue

BECOMING HONESTY LOGAN

Amina Daniels

The sounds of Amiyah’s loud sobs seemed to be amplified in the quietness of the car.

I was so annoyed that the idea to drown her out by turning on the radio had crossed my mind more times than I liked to admit.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care that my sister was hurting or anything like that, it was just that over the years I cared so much that it was taking a toll on me.

The crazy part is, for as far back as I could remember, I had been warned that this day would come.

The day when I would grow tired of being super woman for my sister.

The day when I would finally see that it was no longer worth cleaning up her image and messes, at the expense of it costing me mine.

I hated that I was finally seeing what it was that my father saw so many years ago when he told me that there was no helping Amiyah.

Though we were identical twins and there really was no telling us apart, our looks were where the similarities ended.

I was Miss Goody Too Shoes, as she called me; and just as my father always said, she was the bad apple.

Pulling into the garage of my modest, two-bedroom home, I continued to ignore my sister’s carrying on.

The fact that she was in the car sounding like a wounded animal was actually pissing me off and I guess it was evident when I slammed my door so hard that the windows shook.

I didn’t even bother to look her way before I entered through the kitchen door, because I truly hated just how pathetic, she looked to me in this moment.

Looking around at my space, I smiled at the sight before me.

I had only been in my home for seven months and while it may not have been much to most, to me, it was everything.

Though my career path took a drastic pivot, I was still able to make something of myself that I and my parents would be proud of and became a homeowner.

I began undressing as I climbed the stairs, where the one full size bathroom and the two bedrooms were located.

Normally, I would have dumped my clothing off into a dirty clothes hamper but the fact that I had barely worn my Sunday’s best for more than an hour or two played the hugest role in me placing it back on a hanger and back in my closet.

Just as I redressed myself in some loungewear, I heard my alarm alerting me that Amiyah had finally gotten out of the car and made her way inside.

Just at the thought of what happened back at the church caused me to shake my head at her and the foolishness she always found herself wrapped up in.

This feeling was foreign to me when it came to my twin sister because usually this is when I would feel heartbroken for her, but I was truly fed up with her antics.

“I didn’t think that today would turn out this way.” Amiyah quietly spoke as soon as I stepped back into the living room, where she was seated.

“Amiyah, that’s the problem with you. You simply don’t think.

I don’t know what has to happen for you to take your life seriously, at this point, but I wish that it would happen sooner rather than later.

I don’t get it because you have so much potential, but you continue to sell yourself short, time after time.

And it always involves a nigga! Oh my God!

As embarrassed as I am for you, it is like you have no shame because you have been doing the same song and dance with these men for as long as I can remember.

” I finally grew tired of biting my tongue and the expression on her face let me know that she was as shocked as I was.

“Wow Mina, go ahead and kick me while I’m down.” She fell right into her victim role as her phone began ringing, something that it had been doing since she arrived here two days ago. And just like all the other times, she ignored the call and responded back with a text.

“You can miss me with that shit; you are nobody’s victim! You got off easy as hell, if you ask me. You had no fucking rights to be at the damn funeral and if I had known the full story, you would have for sure been there on your own.” I spat.

“I had just as much rights as that bitch! He didn’t even love her!” She barked, jumping to her feet.

“He sure the fuck didn’t love you!” I matched her tone.

“You didn’t know him, so you damn sure don’t know how he felt about me!”

“What I learned about him in the five minutes it took his fucking wife, to minimize you to nothing more than a nut rag, was all that I needed to know that he didn’t give a fuck about your ass!

The fact that you were sneaking into a funeral that you knew you weren’t welcomed to and chose not to tell me shit, was wild as fuck.

However, nothing was wilder than you actually thinking that you were about to embarrass me even further by arguing with that damn woman, as if you weren’t in the wrong!

” I was so fucking angry that tears stung my eyes.

“Nah what’s wild is you making this about you! You think I give a fuck about embarrassing you when I am mourning the death of the man that I loved? Instead of being there for me, you were too worried about how you would look because his bitch caught a temper tantrum?”

“And what would you have liked me to do when that man’s wife demanded that me and my homewrecking ass twin vacated the funeral before she called the police, huh?

What should I have done but got you the fuck up out of there before she took shit further?

” I just needed to know how else she saw that shit playing out.

“How about remember who was your sister in that moment, instead of apologizing to the bitch and giving her your condolences. The only reason they were still married is because she was using their kids as a weapon. He didn’t want that hoe, he was in love with me and if time was on our side, we would have been together.

So, to answer your question, you should have trusted me in that moment and had my fucking back for once!

” She angrily wiped her tears as she spat.

Hearing Amiyah say that last part was what did it for me.

In that moment, every single sacrifice that I had made for her played through my mind like a movie reel.

I suddenly found myself looking into her large almond shaped eyes, the ones that mirrored my own, and I saw no familiarity.

I had shared mostly every moment of my life plus nine months prior to that, with this person and still, I didn’t know shit about her.

I kept waiting for her to be a better person, but that wasn’t in her.

My father was right, she was rotten to the damn core, and this was it.

There was no more rescuing her, I was hanging up my cape and letting this all play out however it was gonna play out at this point.

“I’m sorry, I must have heard you incorrectly. Did you just say that I should have had your back… for once?” I asked in a deathly quiet tone. I didn’t even recognize my own voice in this moment. I saw her eyes widen when she realized she had fucked up, but it was way too late for regret.

“You know that I didn’t… I was just mad… Mina…” She was so flustered, her ass couldn’t complete a sentence, and I wasn’t about to let her find her words, either.

“Nah, I like when a muthafucka gets mad and starts saying shit that they normally wouldn’t have said.

Your anger didn’t cause you to lie, nah it caused you to expose something you’ve been thinking.

Which is wild as fuck to me that you would even have that thought in your muthafucking mind when I have always had your wide ass back, even before having my own.

Since we were kids any time I got in trouble, it was because I was covering for you.

And maybe daddy was right, maybe that was the reason you grew up to be such a fuck up, because I never allowed you to take accountability for your shit!

I handicapped you and instead of learning and correcting all of your fucked up ways, you kept right on fucking up because you knew that I would be there to catch you before you fell.

I literally sacrificed myself for you over and over again and still, you continue to fuck up as if it all meant nothing! ”

“I never asked you to do anything for me! I could handle myself!” She spoke in a childish tone that did nothing but further piss me off.

“No, the fuck you couldn’t then, and you still can’t now!

You never had to ask me to do a fuck ass thing for you, because I truly felt like that was my role as your sister!

And what’s crazier is every time I sacrificed myself for you, I waited for you to step in and say something…

anything! I waited each time to hear you say that you would take your charge.

I waited for you to rescue me the way that I had always rescued you, but you know what, Amiyah.

That shit never happened. A normal person would resent you, but I loved you way too much to think ill of you.

I knew that you had went through some shit that would have changed most people and because of that, I excused every bit of wrong that you had done.

I ignored soooo many warnings and I just kept going out of my way trying to change the way people viewed you.

I hated that everyone had an opinion on you that I didn’t feel you had rightfully deserved.

It wasn’t a badge of honor that I was looked at as the good twin and you the evil one.

I despised that though they looked at us and saw similarities, people gravitated to me and while nobody wanted to be near you.

Daddy died warning me that he saw past our lies because he knew there was no good in you.

He knew you would take and take as long as I kept giving, until I was left with nothing.