Chapter 5
Honesty Bailey
For the past three days, I had been locked away in this luxury ass apartment ignoring the world.
With the exception of running out to grab a quick bite to eat, here and there, it was full on seclusion.
I’m not gonna lie and say that it was hard to do because it truly felt amazing to be out the way and not have to worry about just how much I was fucking up.
And yes, I had been fucking up in a major way.
I couldn’t even explain the path that I was traveling down because it was so damn foreign to me.
Shit, while I was out here cosplaying as my sister, it felt like I was turning into her in real life and at the worst of times.
Fucking Fame. He was ruining everything and I was allowing him to!
I came here to prove to myself that I had what it took and that I could have been an incredible agent, had I simply put myself first. And what do you know.
Instead of that happening, I was out here proving that my sister wasn’t wrong and this shit wasn’t as easy as it appeared.
When she voiced this same complaint, I judged the hell out of her.
I said she was just being her usual self and was having a hard time sticking to the assignment because she was too focused on the niggas and the lifestyle.
And I guess in a way, she really was but in her defense, it was hard not to.
Prior to coming here, I would never side with her that staying focused was a difficult task because I knew my sister.
She never applied herself to staying on task when a nigga that looked halfway decent was around.
And that’s a long way off from how anyone would describe Fame!
That nigga was a chocolate coated fantasy and came with the heavy ass dick to compliment the image.
If the physical appearance wasn’t enough to get you, the confidence, power, money and respect would pull you in for sure.
And then to top that all off, he defied the odds of the monster he was supposed to be as stated in his file.
On paper, Fame was a menace to society. One who deserved to be locked up in the darkest corner of some maximum security prison with a release date so far off that he would never live to see it.
He was a monster. A cancer to his community.
According to his file, Fame was nothing more than a drug dealing nuisance who was responsible for more deaths than the Grim Reaper himself.
Again, that was on paper. And what I had quickly learned since being here was that everything wasn’t so black and white and he was no exception to the rule.
A week ago, when Fame invaded my personal space, I didn’t expect for him to hijack two more days’ worth of my time.
In a way, I could tell that he didn’t expect the shit either.
It was obvious that he enjoyed my presence, but he was uncomfortable with just how much.
Little did he know, the feeling was mutual, even if the reasoning wasn’t.
There was no way to explain how unprofessional I had quickly become when it came to my dealings with him, that would put me in at least a halfway decent light.
Sure, agents strayed away from the right side of justice all the time, but that was sometimes the consequences of being under for too long.
I had just dipped my toe into the pool, so surely, I couldn’t use that as an excuse.
The only excuse that I could use, would be the one that would be the reason this whole game of charades would end by blowing up in my face.
Fame. I was prepared to deal with the arrogant, rude and disrespectful person that according to his file, he was supposed to be.
I had it planned out that I would shock him by meeting his disrespect with disrespect instead of fear like everyone around him.
It would be too easy for me, because like I said, I was stiff on a nigga in real life.
I knew that it would present like a challenge and let’s face facts, all alpha men enjoyed the chase.
However, Fame met me with a challenge of his own.
That challenge being that the disrespect I was prepared to meet head on, never came.
The arrogance was there, only tastefully but beyond that, charm.
It was almost like he was the one playing a role for me because this couldn’t be the same man that I was supposed to be building a case on that would lock him away for damn near a few life sentences.
If he was faking it for me, he had successfully sold the role when he took me to the hood by his mother.
That wasn’t planned, but one call from her had him rushing to meet up with her before she “did something stupid”, his words, not mine.
Initially, I thought I surely would have seen the ruthless kingpin they claimed him to be, because the laughter and jokes had ceased and his expression was serious as hell.
The closer we got to the location, something else took over his expression.
He was second guessing bringing me here and he would’ve been spot on with that thought, initially.
Initially, I thought for sure this would be my way into getting intel that he would’ve kept under lock and key.
Behind every nigga that’s up to no good is his enabling mother who knows all the dirt but turns a blind eye.
I knew for sure I could get close to her and have her telling me all his business as mothers unintentionally did when they got too comfortable.
I knew his hesitance was based off of his mother’s issues with drug abuse and the fact that he thought it was this big secret from most. I’m sure he didn’t want to give me a glimpse into that space of his world.
He had no clue that the bureau had done their jobs and that was uncovered a long time ago.
What they didn’t know however, was that he was still in contact with her and that he was essentially supplying his mother with her drugs.
As we drove away, I learned that he and Jude constantly bumped heads because Jude felt like he was enabling her.
I could see why Jude would feel that way, but after listening to Fame’s version; the one where he would rather make sure she got what she needed rather than her doing weird shit for her next high.
I found myself siding with him. Hell, I found myself siding with him about a lot of things and that was why I had decided to distance myself in an effort to catch my head before this shit went so damn far left that I couldn’t get it back right.
I knew that after we spent time together just riding and vibing, the way I abruptly ended our time together confused him, but the way I was feeling in that moment was confusing me.
Nowhere in any of the files my sister gave me, did it mention most of the things that Fame was allowing me to learn about him.
And yeah, that was the point of going undercover, to find inside information that wasn’t easy to find from the outside.
Still, I couldn’t help that I felt disgusting as he filled me in on personal shit, because he felt comfortable with me, and I wasn’t shit but a wolf in skin tight ass sheep’s clothing.
He had never told me anything that would help with the case, I doubt anyone would feel comfortable enough to implicate themselves in some deep shit, to someone they barely knew, no matter how good the vibe was.
But what he did tell me, made me feel some type of way.
It kind of made me feel special. I could tell that Fame wasn’t the type to sit here and do the whole get to know a female thing, but the fact that he was letting me in on intimate details of his life made me feel like he saw me as something more than someone he wanted to fuck on.
And that realization is what made me end our day together and rush home.
He continuously called and attempted to see what was wrong, up until I blocked him late yesterday evening.
Not wanting to admit that I was fucking up in such a grand way, strictly based off of a stranger that I didn’t really know shit about, I blamed it all on being out here, out of my comfort zone and lonely.
I didn’t even have my sister to talk to because she was voluntarily staying in the mental hospital to properly heal.
I guess that’s why when I bumped into a handsome stranger while getting something to eat a few days ago, I didn’t decline when he asked for my number.
And while the conversation didn’t excite me or effortlessly flow like the many I had with Fame, I didn’t turn down his offer to go out on a date tonight.
These walls were closing in on me and who knows, maybe the chemistry would be better in person.
The lack of nervousness I experienced as I eased in to the area for valet parking, should have been a sign.
Hell, maybe it was a huge sign, but I chose to shrug it off and stick the blame on just how fucked up Fame had my head.
The entire time I got ready for my date, I wondered what he was up to, how did he feel about me being blocked and more importantly, was he with Desiree.
Which is wild within itself, because why wouldn’t he be with her?
That was his woman and I knew that before I even met the man.
Desiree hadn’t personally done anything wrong, outside of simply being a bitch, yet I was avoiding her ass too.
She called my phone so many times that I almost blocked her ass too.
I didn’t feel like being fake friendly with her ass when I knew I was really sitting over here wishing that I met her man first and under different circumstances.
Behind the dark tent of my windows, I added another layer of my Summer Friday lip balm and freshened up my scent of the night.
I noticed that my date was already there, just as he texted me that he would be and smiled at the bouquet of flowers he clutched.
As soon as I turned off the car, the valet as well as my date stepped towards my door.
Again, I smiled when he made sure he was the one to open my door and help me out.
No words were needed because the expression on his face as he fully took in my appearance told me that I made the right choice when I decided on this long sleeved, floor length red number.
When he told me about the popular upscale restaurant we were dinning at, I knew this dress would do the trick.
It fit like a second skin and because of the full coverage and high neckline, it gave modest. Until I turned around and you saw that the entire back portion was open and dramatically dipped into a v that stopped right before my ass would be exposed.
It was so deep that I had to abandon underwear for the night.
The dress was reminiscent of the whole Chinese look and I amped that up with the chopsticks in my hair.
My dark chocolate skin shimmered thanks to my golden body dust that complemented the gold accessories I selected. I didn’t need my inches stealing the moment away from the back of the dress, so my hair was pinned up in a curly updo with bangs framing my face.
“Honesty, damn. I’m sorry but, shit.” I smirked as I accepted his extended hand and slowly made my way towards the doors of the restaurant.
I wasn’t purposely moving slow but floor length dresses don’t leave much room for a quick pace.
You just take your time and make the uncomfortable walk look sexy. “These are for you.”
“Aww Justin, they are beautiful! Thank you, I love roses.” I accepted what looked to be about three dozen long stemmed roses wrapped in beautiful black paper.
“I love your cologne.” I complimented him as he walked me into the restaurant.
Before he could respond, we were greeted with champagne and directed to the hostess booth.
“Welcome to Oak & Ember, do you have a reservation?” The polished male questioned.
“No, this was last minute. Is the wait time long?” Justin questioned and I swear for some reason that irritated me.
It wasn’t even about having to wait, because even if they said there was no wait time I would have been annoyed.
My annoyance came from him already knowing this was a popular location, he was the one who mentioned that to me in the first place, yet, he still didn’t take the initiative to make sure everything was in place for us.
I tuned both him and the hostess out so I never did hear what she responded, but it must have been good news because he took a seat next to me on the tufted bench that sat near the door.
“It won’t be long. I’m just glad they’ll be able to squeeze us in.”
“So am I. If the food is half as amazing as the decor, I’ll be impressed.” I offered as I looked around.
The restaurant was beautifully decorated in black and gold, and the dim lighting took the ambiance to another level.
As I looked over at Justin and took in his bright red complexion, handsome chiseled features, perfectly cut hair with the deep waves to match, I couldn’t help but to wish that somehow, it wasn’t him that I was here with.
It was so crazy that I was thinking about Fame to the point that I could literally smell his cologne.
Just when I thought that my imagination was playing tricks on me, the chill from the door opening caught my attention and I made direct eye contact with him. And his date, Desiree.