Chapter 12
Honesty Bailey
Speechless. Words literally failed me as I took in the scene that was surrounding me.
The extravagant gesture accompanied with the way this man was staring into my soul had me losing the internal battle that I felt I could win, up until this point.
My feelings were all over the place and it was frustrating to me because if at no other time, I definitely needed to be in control of my emotions more than ever.
I had been trying everything I could think of, to stop myself from falling for this man’s charm but it was hard.
For a while reminding myself that he still had ties and connections with Des was working.
And now, I was full on delulu and telling myself that she didn’t want or appreciate this man and we deserved each other.
I was literally telling myself that fate not deception brought us together and it felt like a hill that I was getting way too comfortable on.
The shit was sick and as I stood in the middle of the living room that was now unrecognizable with the floral set up that featured tons of balloons and candles, I knew that it was only gonna get sicker as I read the question that was in the center of an oversized heart.
It was a simple request. ‘Give me a chance?’ And I stood here reading it over and over as if I needed time to think of my answer.
It was obvious what I had to do, right? Turn him down and focus on the assignment.
And if I couldn’t step back into my role, then naturally I should end this whole game and run far away from Fame and all of the problems that he could bring for not only me, but my sister as well.
I finally tore my attention from the question in the middle of the setup, to his eyes that seemed to be asking the very same question.
Except in his eyes, I saw that he didn’t just want me to say yes, he damn near needed my answer to be yes and o don’t understand it.
I knew I started feeling something for him prematurely, but shit, that’s to be expected.
Fame wasn’t no regular nigga. I didn’t want to fall, but he really left you with no choice. What was his reason though?
“Usually, I hate when women ask why me, in situations like this. I used to think it made them look insecure to even ask something like that. Because you know, why not you. But my curiosity is getting the best of me and before I can decide whether I’m willing to risk it all or not, I really do need to know two things.
The first being, why are you coming on so strong for me?
You barely know me, but you act as if you need to be in my presence or something. ”
“Shit crazy huh?” He replied with a shrug.
“What does that even mean?”
“I’m saying. I think the shit is just as wild as you’re thinking it is, but I do need to be in your presence.
In the short time since you’ve allowed me in…
alright since I forced my way in your space, I don’t like not being there.
The feeling was a lil foreign to me and that’s what I was talking to my mama about.
I mean, I’ve been in long term ass relationships and ain’t never felt this deeply about someone.
I can’t focus on shit I’m supposed to be focused on when I’m not by you because you be fucking with my mental man.
I be needing to have eyes on you just so that thoughts of you aren’t filling up my mind.
I really went to my mama of all people for advice and at first, she was on that crackhead shit.
Talking ‘bout you must have cooked me some tomato gravy. She been told me don’t eat no red gravy from you, by the way.
But then after a while, she told me she was happy that I had finally found my person.
She said it was no real way to explain the shit because it was just something rare that few were blessed to experience.
Then she said she experienced it with her first hit of crack.
That muthafucka said I’m high off you and ain’t even felt the pussy.
” Despite the tears falling from my eyes at the realization that I wasn’t alone with my crazy feelings, I had to laugh at that explanation.
“Okay. This question is gonna be weird, but I need an honest answer. When you first laid eyes on me, like the very first time we were in each other’s presence; not the night we left the club together.
I’m talking first introduction. Did you feel anything for me?
” He didn’t get the importance of the question and he wasn’t supposed to.
But in order for me to feel as if something supernatural was happening between us; I needed to know that it wasn’t just physical.
I would be devastated if he answered wrong, but at least I would know it wasn’t worth risking this whole assignment.
“Ma, I hope you don’t take this any kind of way, but I have to be honest. I didn’t really see you until the night of Jude’s party.
Like before that, you were around but shit you were only considered as one of Desiree’s lil followers.
I don’t know if I ever gave you any real attention.
But that night when I walked up on y’all, I ain’t been able to see shit but you since. I told you, I’m fucked up about you.”
Between my heart beating double time and those damn butterflies going crazy in my stomach, I could barely contain myself.
I wasted no time launching myself in his arms and happily accepted his tongue into my mouth.
Despite all of the confusion and uncertainty about what was to happen when all of my secrets were exposed, I felt safe in the arms of the man that I was supposed to be taking down.
It was a good thing that my sister knew me better than I knew myself, because I desperately needed her plan to work.
My happiness and at the end of the day, maybe even my life, were depending on it.
“Fameeeee, fuck baby!” I moaned out as I expertly took every inch of dick he was thrusting into me.
He was going long and strong, per usual and I was taking it all like a champ.
I’m not even about to run game as if that had been the case because I had to get adjusted to this big muthafucka.
And get adjusted I did. Trying to delay the inevitable and ensure that we bonded enough to withstand the harsh truths that were due to be exposed sooner than I cared to admit; I took almost three weeks adjusting on the islands of Fiji.
There I learned to fuck and suck my man just the way he loved and that was why we had barely made it home and he was once again digging in my guts.
“That’s what the fuck I’m talking bout mama.
” Wrapping his hand around my neck, he applied light pressure and pulled my face down towards his lips.
Both of our movements slowed as I felt him release in his favorite place and let out a relieved sigh.
If Fame told me anything after that moment, he was talking to his damn self as I was knocked out before my head hit the pillow.
Between the long flights and the long fucks, I was drained.
I had no idea how long I was sleeping but I knew it had to be some of the best sleep because I could hear my sister talking to me in my sleep.
I couldn’t make out what she was saying but a hard slap to the face, was all I needed to realize that this was far from a dream.
“Oh my God, sis! I missed you so much! Wait, how are you even here?” The look on her face stopped me in my tracks. Her eyes filled with tears, and it was annoying me that she hadn’t said anything to explain them away yet. “Amiyah!” I yelled.
“Sis, it’s Fame. The plan went left. He must have popped in to show his face since y’all were back.
You said you would keep him home! We had Desiree and Jude with enough drugs and weapons to send them away until our grandkids were walking.
I didn’t know Fame was there and I entered with the team.
When they saw me, Jude… Jude had a gun. He tried to kill me.
I was too cocky and not wearing my shields.
It was supposed to be quick, easy and quiet. In and out.”
I wanted to fucking vomit!!
“So, Fame knows? He knows that I’ve been undercover this whole time?” My heart shattered when I thought about how he had to feel. “Oh my God, he hates me!”
“I wish that was it, sis. I’m here to pick you up. Jude tried to kill me, but he failed because Fame jumped in front of the bullets. It’s not look good, sis. He thought he was saving the woman that he loved.”
I heard a loud scream pierce the air, and I didn’t even realize it was me making the noise. The image of my sister reaching out for me was the last thing I saw before black took over. I welcomed the darkness because if surviving Gangland meant living without Fame, I didn’t care to survive.
If you are a realist and understand that not all endings are happy, then this is the end. But if you are one of those Delulu girls, let’s take it up a notch.