Chapter 22 #2
“Hey, baby,” he said when he answered. The sound of his familiar voice sent love and regret surging through her. “How was the shower?”
“Good. It was fine.” She wanted to tell him how Maddie’s mother had come, how she had made that happen, but she couldn’t get the words past the huge lump in her throat.
“What’s wrong, honey? You sound funny.”
“I don’t feel so good.” She winced at the lie, knowing she was only postponing the inevitable. “It came on in the middle of the shower, and now I’m miserable.” That was certainly the truth.
“Oh, bummer. I had a big night planned for us, but we can do it another time. I’ll come over and take care of you.”
“No.”
He paused. “Why not?”
“I feel gross. I don’t want you to see me like this. I’d really rather be alone tonight.”
“Is something else wrong, Janey?”
It was all she could do not to break down at the hurt she heard in his voice. “I just. . . I need to be alone. Is that all right?”
“If that’s all it is.”
“I’ve got to go,” she said.
“Janey—”
“Bye, Joe.” She ended the call and stretched out on the sofa as hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She had no doubt it was better this way. But if that was true, why did it hurt so much?
Joe stared at the fog outside the window of his South Harbor office. Something was up. She wasn’t sick. How he knew that he couldn’t have said. He just knew. “Oh, Janey,” he said. “What’re you doing?”
He glanced at the suit he’d brought from home to wear on the date that wasn’t going to happen now.
The way he saw it, he had two choices—sit here and do nothing, hoping she’d come around, or storm over there and demand she tell him what was going on.
Neither option was all that appealing, but the idea of doing nothing was unacceptable.
Since it was foggy and chilly, he grabbed a company pullover and headed out of the office.
On the short walk to Janey’s house, he replayed their brief phone call and tried to figure out why he hadn’t believed her when she said she didn’t feel good.
He knew her. The closer he got to her house, the more annoyed he became.
If something was wrong, why couldn’t she just tell him the truth rather than giving him the brush-off? That’s what he intended to find out.
Approaching her house, he noticed the lights were out and wondered if she was even home.
He experienced a moment of trepidation as he opened the front gate.
What if she really was barfing her guts up and would be embarrassed for him to see her like that?
Well, too bad. He was in for better or worse, and it was high time she realized that.
He knocked on the door, and the dogs went crazy inside.
“Janey?” he said, knocking again. “Come on, honey. I need to see you. I know something’s wrong.”
The dogs continued to howl, but Janey didn’t come.
“I’m going to wait, Janey. I’m not leaving until I see that you’re all right. If you don’t want me to call Mac—”
The inside door swung open.
One glance at her ravaged face told Joe that something was very wrong. He pulled open the screen door and stepped into the dark room. The dogs danced around his legs. “Baby, what is it?”
“I, um. . .” She looked up at him, her eyes shiny with tears. “I can’t do this, Joe.”
“Do what?”
“This. Us.”
He forced himself to remain calm so he could figure out what the hell was going on. “What happened today? What changed since we woke up together this morning and made love—twice?”
Sobs shook her petite frame, and it took all he had not to go to her, to put his arms around her and assure her he’d fix whatever had her so upset. But he couldn’t seem to bring himself to move.
“I never should’ve let this happen,” she said between sobs. “I was messed up. Mixed up. You tried to tell me. . .”
Joe took a deep breath, hoping to slow his rapid heartbeat. “What happened today?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“I woke up from the daze I’ve been in since everything with David, and now I can’t seem to stop crying or thinking about all the years I gave him and how I have absolutely nothing to show for them.
” She was crying so hard Joe wondered how she was able to breathe.
“We were supposed to get married and have four kids. I wanted those kids. That’s what I wanted. ”
This was what he had most feared—that when the shock wore off, she’d discover she wasn’t at all ready to move on with him. And where would that leave him? Right here, loving her and losing her.
Needing an outlet for the energy zipping through him, he ran his fingers through his hair and tried to resist the urge to tear it out. “You can still have anything you want, Janey. I’d give you anything and everything. You have to know that.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
He felt like she’d ripped the heart from his chest, and right then and there, he realized he’d never get over losing her. Not after all they’d shared.
“Janey, whatever is wrong, we can fix it. If you need more time, take it. But don’t try to tell me what’s between us isn’t love. You’ll never convince me of that.”
Janey wiped the tears from her face. “Then I won’t try.”
Hearing that, something inside him broke, and he knew he had to get out of there or risk saying something he’d never be able to take back. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I think we could’ve had something pretty great, but I’m certainly not going to beg. You know where I am if you change your mind.”
Joe forced himself to turn around, to walk out the door and down the stairs. Once he was through the gate, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Mac’s number.
“Sleeping,” Mac mumbled.
“Wake up. Something’s wrong with Janey.”
“What?” Mac asked, instantly awake. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. She won’t tell me.”
“What happened?”
“I wish I knew. Will you go over there and check on her?”
“On my way. Are you okay, Joe?”
“I’m confused. Everything was fine this morning and now it’s not. Something happened, but she won’t tell me what it is.”
Mac remained silent.
“You know, don’t you?”
“Joe—”
“Forget it. I don’t want to know. If she can’t tell me herself, screw it. Screw this whole thing. I’m done.”
“Wait—”
Joe turned off his phone. Enough already.