Chapter 7 #2
She stared at him, astounded. “You’ve… With whom?”
“Someone who doesn’t want me.”
“Wait a minute… Are you trying to tell me that you’ve met a woman—a living, breathing, woman—who doesn’t want you? What the heck is wrong with her?”
That brought a faint smile to his lips. “Ahhh, Gracie. You’re good for what ails me, love.
” He squeezed her hand. “There’s nothing wrong with her.
That’s the problem. Everything about her is right.
She’s all I think about. Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible to expire from the agony of wanting something I can’t have. ”
The despair she heard in his voice touched her deeply. How would it feel, she wondered, to want Evan with every fiber of her being, but not be able to have him? It didn’t bear thinking about. “Why can’t you have her, Seamus?”
“She’s older than me and can’t get past that obstacle. Among other things.”
“What other things?”
“I work for her son, for one thing.”
Grace’s eyes bugged out of her head. “Joe’s mother?”
“Shhh, don’t say it out loud. No one knows. No one.”
“Start at the beginning. Don’t leave anything out. I want every detail.”
“I probably shouldn’t…”
“You’ll feel better when you tell someone. Tell me. Maybe I can help.”
“You can’t tell anyone, Grace. I mean it. Not even Evan.”
“I won’t breathe a word of it. I promise.”
As Seamus haltingly conveyed the story of the unforgettable night he’d spent with Carolina Cantrell, his voice was soft and his eyes full of emotion that made Grace ache for him.
“You haven’t seen her since Luke and Syd’s wedding?”
He shook his head. “It’s killing me, Gracie,” he whispered. “I can’t sleep or eat. I can’t think about anything but how much I want to be with her.”
“Have you thought about telling her that?”
“What good would it do? She looks at me and sees a man roughly the same age as her son. I’ll always be a couple of years older than him, so that puts me permanently off limits to her.”
“That’s so ridiculous! If two people love each other and want to be together, what difference does it make if there’re a few years between them?”
“If only her thinking was like yours, we wouldn’t be needing this conversation.
What am I to do? Now that I know she’s out there and what it’s like to hold her and kiss her and…
” He dropped his head into his hands. “I can’t bear it.
Sometimes I think I’ll have to give notice and leave this job I love, because it’s too hard to know she’s right here on the island but as far away from me as it’s possible to get. ”
Grace put a comforting arm around him, which was how Evan found them a few minutes later when he came in the door, stopping short at the sight of Grace and Seamus sitting close to each other on the sofa.
His smile faded, and his eyes went dark with fury. “What’s going on?”
“Seamus is having a rough day and needed a friend,” Grace said, shooting her boyfriend a warning look.
“Is that so?”
“I should go,” Seamus said, straightening.
“Don’t go,” she said. “Stay and have dinner. You’ll feel better to be around friends.”
“You’re a love, Gracie, but there’s only one thing that’ll make me feel better, and it’s not to be.” He kissed her forehead, squeezed her hand and released it. “Thanks for listening.”
“Any time. Will you let me know how you’re doing?”
“I will, love.” To Evan, he said, “Thank you for letting me borrow your lady for a few minutes. You’re a lucky man.”
“I know.”
This was said in a tone Grace had never heard before from Evan. Her stomach began to hurt.
“You folks have a nice evening,” Seamus said on his way out the door.
“Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” Evan said when they were alone.
Clearly, he was spoiling for a fight, and Grace was in no mood. “Not really.”
“How would you feel if you came home and found me snuggled up to some woman?”
“We weren’t snuggled up, and he’s not some guy. He’s my friend.”
“A friend who’s interested in being much more than friends with you.”
“You are such an idiot sometimes, you know that?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“He was here talking to me about a woman he’s in love with, and her name is not Grace.”
“Oh.”
“You can apologize any time now.”
“Apologize for what?”
“Implying I was fooling around on you.”
“I didn’t imply that.”
She raised an eyebrow to let him know she wasn’t buying his crap. “Oh no? What would you call it then?”
“I don’t know.” He flopped down on the sofa. “Why are we fighting?”
“Because you acted like a jealous fool when I had a male friend here.”
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I overreacted, but that guy pushes my buttons with all his Irish blarney.”
“I think you mean Irish charm,” Grace said, sitting next to him and reaching for his hand.
Evan scowled at her.
“Are you still mad at me?”
He shrugged.
She moved so she was straddling him and framed his face with her hands. “Look at me.” When she had his full attention, she bent her head to kiss him. “I love you, you silly, jealous fool. Only you.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then why do you still look all funny in the face?”
“I’ve been thinking…”
“About?”
“I want to understand why you didn’t tell your parents about me, and I think I get it, but still…”
“Still what?”
“Is it because my job situation is up in the air right now? Is that why you didn’t tell them? Because I’d understand if that was why—”
“No! That has nothing to do with it. I swear to you, I didn’t tell them because of stuff between us. Not because of anything to do with you.”
“What did they say when I wasn’t around?”
Grace diverted her gaze. “Not much.”
He cuffed her chin. “Liar.”
“It doesn’t matter, Evan. They’ve got nothing to do with us. That’s why I didn’t tell them.”
“They’re your parents, honey. You can’t disregard them like they mean nothing to you.”
“You heard what my mother said the other day about there being other ways to lose weight besides going under the knife?”
“Yes, and I didn’t think she needed to say that.”
“It’s the least of what she’s had to say since I decided to have the surgery. Who knows better than she did how I tried every other possible way to lose weight before I opted for surgery? Yet she made me feel like a loser for doing it. She’s still making me feel like a loser.”
“Probably because she doesn’t have the courage to do it herself.”
“You think so?”
Nodding, he said, “She’s probably jealous that it worked so well for you and you’ve lost so much weight. How long has she been heavy?”
“Always.”
“There you have it. You’ve managed to successfully address a situation she’s grappled with her whole life.”
“I suppose you’re right. Sometimes I wonder why she can’t be happy for me, you know?”
“Don’t let her—or anyone—take away from your accomplishments, Grace. You have a lot to be proud of.”
“Do you know what I’m proudest of?”
“What’s that?”
“You and me. We’ve come a long way in the last eight months. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
“Same here, honey. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, and I’m sorry I overreacted about Seamus being here.”
Grace leaned her forehead against his. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell my parents about us.”
“It’s okay. I have a few thoughts about how you can make it up to me.”
“What kind of thoughts?”
As Evan whispered in her ear, Grace felt her face get hot. Would she ever get used to the blunt way he talked about highly personal matters?
“Right now?” she asked.
“Uh-huh.” He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. “Unless, of course, you’re not really all that sorry. In that case—”