Chapter 2 #2
She was still muttering to herself when she stepped into the mudroom and stopped short as images from the carnal encounter flooded her mind, making her mouth water for another taste of him. This was utter madness, and it was enough already.
After stomping up the stairs to the bedroom, she sat at her computer to record the weather conditions and seas on the Coast Guard website she reported to every day, which was another of the regular duties required of her position.
The job wasn’t exactly the best use of the MBA she’d earned at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business, but she liked her life at the lighthouse and on the island, where she’d made friends she greatly enjoyed.
They kept her busy and engaged in island life, which was exactly what she needed after years of floundering following Toby’s death.
She finally felt rooted again and ready for the next phase of her life, whatever that might be.
The morning passed quickly as she replied to several emails from her parents and sisters, who worried about her far more than they should—not that she hadn’t given them ample reason to worry over the years.
Her parents were talking about coming to visit this summer, and she hoped they would.
She’d love to show them “her” island and introduce them to her new friends.
Speaking of her friends, it was time to get ready to go to Syd’s.
She’d offered to arrive early so Syd’s husband, Luke, could go to work for a few hours.
Suddenly, she realized she could no longer hear the beast and went over to the window to look out at the lawn, which was devoid now of the mower and the hot man who ran it.
He was gone. That was fine. She had to go, too.
But as she drove away from the lighthouse on her way to Syd’s, she wondered if or when he’d be back.
Jenny arrived at Sydney and Luke’s oceanfront home a short time later. She was accustomed now to the breathtaking views the island afforded, but theirs was one of her favorites. Carrying the brownies she’d baked, Jenny tapped on the glass door and heard Syd’s dog, Buddy, bark inside.
Luke came to the door and smiled when he saw Jenny there. “Oh, good, you’re here. Syd can’t wait to be rid of me.”
“That’s not true,” Syd called from her perch on the sofa. She had decorated the room in shades of navy and cream and made the most of the exquisite view. Jenny absolutely loved this room. “He can’t wait to go to work.”
“Also not true,” Luke said with a wink.
“Glad to see you two lovebirds getting along so swimmingly,” Jenny teased.
“We’ve been spending a lot of time together,” Sydney said. “And not the fun kind of time.” Her long red hair was piled into a messy bun on the top of her head, and other than the dark circles under her eyes, she looked great.
Luke bent over the sofa to kiss his wife. “We’ll be back to fun in a couple of weeks. In the meantime,” he said to Jenny, “she’s under orders to take it easy. No heavy lifting or strenuous activity.”
“Got it,” Jenny said. “I’ll take good care of her. Don’t worry.”
“Call me if you need anything,” Luke said to Sydney. “I can be home in a couple of minutes.”
“Go already, would ya? Honestly, I can’t get rid of him.” This was said with a warm smile for her handsome husband.
“Never let it be said I can’t take a hint. Back in a couple of hours.”
“We’ll be here,” Syd said.
“Thanks again, Jenny,” he said on his way out. “I appreciate the break from the ball and chain.” He quickly shut the door so he could get in the last word, which left Sydney shaking with silent laughter.
“Hurts to laugh,” she said.
“You two are funny.”
“We’ve been together around the clock for more than a week. I knew he was dying to get back to the marina but would never say so. Thanks for coming over to babysit me. I told him I was fine by myself, but he wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“He’s very sweet.”
“Yes, he is. He’s been an absolute rock through the whole thing. All this hassle and who knows if it’ll even work?”
“It went well, though, right?”
“The doctor said it all went perfectly. Couldn’t have asked for better. He was able to successfully reconnect both of my fallopian tubes.”
“So why don’t you seem more excited? You want a baby, don’t you?”
“I do, but…”
“But what?”
“It’s scary to think about having a baby and then worrying all the time about something happening to it. I don’t know if I could survive that again. But I’m trying to follow Luke’s lead and think positively. He says I’ve used up my lifetime supply of bad luck.”
“I have to agree with him.”
“I do, too. But it’s still scary.”
“Could I ask you something that might seem weird and out of the blue?”
“Of course you can. You know that.”
The two women had bonded initially over their mutual experience with tragedy and had become close friends.
Syd had been the first to reach out to Jenny after she arrived on the island and had connected her with a vast circle of friends she’d come to adore.
Jenny hadn’t felt so at home anywhere since she lost Toby and was forever thankful to Syd for making the overture.
“Do you ever dream about Seth and the kids? As if they’re still alive?”
“Not as much as I used to right after the accident, but occasionally. Why? Do you dream about Toby?”
“Same as you. It used to be more frequent when it first happened, but now it’s only once in a while, and it always messes me up for a couple of days afterward.”
“It messes me up, too. I felt so bad because I had the dream when Luke and I were on our honeymoon. Of all the times for a blast from the past.”
“Oh jeez. What did you do? What did he do?”
“He was great about it, like he is about everything. He just rolls with whatever comes his way and keeps me calm, too. I tell him that’s his special gift—instilling calm.”
“It’s a good gift.” Jenny thought of Alex and how he’d instilled passion rather than calm.
“Yes, it is. Anyway, the honeymoon dream threw me for a loop for a couple of days. It’s always a shock to wake up from the dream and remember what happened.”
Jenny nodded in agreement—and in understanding. “I had the Toby dream this morning. Same thing.”
“What do you dream about?”
“It’s always the same thing. The last morning we spent together. I want so badly to know what he said to me before he left, and what I said to him, but I wake up before I get there. Every time.”
“Do you think it would make a big difference to know what you said?”
“Intellectually, I know it won’t make any difference. He’ll still be dead, you know? But I’d like to know.”
“It would give you closure.”
“If there is any such thing.”
“I don’t like that word very much for the same reason.”
“That’s one thing I’ve come to understand in the last twelve years. I’ll never get true closure, but peace is possible, and so is happiness and joy and other things I thought I’d never experience again.”
“Love is possible, too, Jenny.”
“Maybe so.” Jenny couldn’t help but think of the fiery encounter with Alex. That had been a long, long way from love, but it had reminded her that she was still very much alive and still very much a normal woman.
“So no sparks with Mason, huh?”
“Afraid not. He’s a very nice guy, though.”
“Yes, he is. Doesn’t mean he’s the one for you. Who’s next?”
“I’m having dinner with Linc tomorrow night.”
“Ohh, he’s so cute. I bet you’ll feel sparks with him.”
“I guess we’ll see.” Sparks… Was that what she’d felt with Alex?
No, that had been a full-fledged flame. She wanted so badly to tell Sydney about what’d happened with him but decided not to.
It felt intensely private, and not only because her behavior had been so far out of character.
The minute she told someone else about it, it wouldn’t belong just to them anymore.
And for now, she wanted to keep it between them.
That led to another, far more startling thought: What if he told people?
He wouldn’t do that, would he? How could she be certain he wouldn’t?
She didn’t know him at all. With those worries churning in her belly, she made a cup of tea for Sydney and chatted with her about a wide variety of island gossip.
“So Daisy actually turned down the house she was offered?” Jenny asked.
“That’s what I heard. David wants her to move in with him, and they’re talking about that.”
“Good for her—and for him. I’ve always thought he was a nice guy, despite what happened with Janey.”
“I’ve thought so, too. He was certainly good to us when we were weighing our options before I had the surgery. He referred me to the surgeon in Boston, someone he knew from his residency.”
“No one is all good or all bad, right?”
“That’s been my experience. Daisy surely seems happy with him.”
“What’s up with her ex-boyfriend?”
“He’s back in jail for violating the restraining order. Even though Daisy wasn’t home, the neighbors saw him kick in her door, so that counts as a violation. His bail was revoked.”
“Thank goodness he’s back in jail where he belongs.”
“No kidding. Poor Daisy. Imagine a man of his size beating up a woman her size—or any woman, for that matter.”
“I can’t imagine it. I refuse to.”
A knock on the door preceded Maddie coming into the house. She carried Hailey in her car seat and set her down on the floor by Jenny. “Be right back with the food I brought.”
“Let’s get you out of there,” Jenny said to Hailey, who beamed up at her with a smile full of baby teeth.
Relying on her years of aunt experience, Jenny unclipped the straps and lifted Hailey out of the seat.
At ten months, Hailey was sturdy and chubby and showed no signs of the trauma she’d experienced at birth.
Like her older brother, Thomas, she had light blonde hair and big blue eyes.
“You’re a natural,” Syd said.