Chapter 10 #2
“I have to be honest with you. After we had some trouble with the former manager of the retail store, we investigate everyone we hire. None of this came up when we looked into you before we hired you.”
“Russell is my maiden name. I legally changed my name and Ethan’s after Carl was convicted.”
“I can’t say I blame you.”
“I should’ve disclosed this—”
He squeezed her hand. “No. There was no need for you to do that. Your professional references were impeccable, and your background check was clean. You didn’t owe us anything more than that.”
“Really?”
“Really. Your business is your business, and it has no impact on the amazing way you take care of my mother.”
“Alex might not agree.”
“Yes, he will. He thinks you’re amazing, too.”
When her chin quivered, Paul cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her chin. “Why were you crying earlier? What happened?”
She glanced up at him with a tremulous smile. “You happened.”
“Me? I thought you said this wasn’t going to work.”
“I did, and I meant it because I’m still so messed up over everything with Carl. It wouldn’t be fair to get involved with you—”
“Do you still love him?”
“No. God, no.”
Paul didn’t think. He acted, laying his lips over hers. For the longest time, he did nothing more than rub his lips against hers, hoping she was getting the message that even knowing what he now did, he still wanted her. In fact, if possible, he wanted her more after hearing what she’d survived.
Tears tumbled down her cheeks, but her hand wrapped around his wrist, holding him close rather than pushing him away.
“I’m scared,” she said.
“Of what? You’re not afraid of me, are you?”
She nodded.
“Hope… Why? I would never hurt you or Ethan. If I had you both in my life, I’d consider myself the luckiest guy in the world. Tell me why you’re scared.”
“I had no idea about Carl. I never even suspected. If I let myself go there again…”
“Carl was a bad guy. I’m not a bad guy. I’m not the best guy who ever lived, but I do the right thing most of the time. In fact, most of the men I know do, too.”
“I want so badly to believe you.”
“You can believe me. You can believe in me. I can’t promise you that whatever this is between us will last forever, but I can guarantee that I’ll never intentionally do anything to cause you or Ethan any more pain than you’ve already endured.”
Closing her eyes, she leaned into the hand he still had on her face. “I love the way you make me feel, Paul. I never thought I’d ever feel that way again.”
Paul kissed her, this time more insistently, sliding his tongue back and forth over her lips until they parted to allow him in. God, she was sweet and responsive and sexy. He was thankful that she’d told him about her past so he knew what he was dealing with.
Her arms encircled his neck as her tongue rubbed his, setting him on fire with desire.
Instinct took over, leading him to arrange her under him without breaking the increasingly desperate kiss.
The alignment of their bodies had his erection pressed against the heat of her core.
He wanted to touch her there. He wanted to touch her everywhere.
But more than anything, he wanted her to trust him, and that wasn’t going to happen overnight.
So he softened the kiss and kept his hands firmly planted on the sofa on either side of her head.
The scrape of her fingernails over his scalp made him tremble.
“Why’d you stop?” she asked in a small voice.
“Same reason as last night. Because if I don’t stop, I won’t be able to.”
She squirmed under him, and he had to bite his lip to keep from moaning. “Paul…”
“We’re going to the mainland on Tuesday. We’ll have a day or two alone together. Between now and then, think about whether this is what you really want. And if you’re in, you have to be all-in. Okay?”
“All or nothing?”
“We can’t do this halfway, Hope. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us, particularly Ethan.”
“You’re right. I know you are, but if we’re going all-in, you need to talk to Alex about it.”
“I will.” Though it was literally painful to tear himself away from her, he pushed up and withdrew. He offered her a hand and helped her sit up, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Are you okay?”
“I’m better. Thank you for listening.”
“I’m sorry for everything you went through, but that has nothing at all to do with us. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said tentatively, letting him know it would take a while before she truly believed him.
That was fine. He had nothing but time that he was willing to give her until she realized he was nothing like the man who’d hurt her so badly. Paul kissed her one more time. “I’ll go to the funeral with you in the morning. I don’t want you to go through that alone.”
“That’s really nice of you. Thanks.”
“You’re going to figure out that you can count on me, Hope.
I’ll see you in the morning.” He kissed her forehead and got up, forcing himself to walk away, to give her the time to decide if this was what she really wanted.
And if she decided it wasn’t? What then?
Well, he’d have to accept it and move on, but at least he’d know why.
He took the steps to the back porch and went in through the screen door, stopping short at the sight of Alex, nude, standing in front of the open refrigerator, guzzling a bottle of seltzer water.
“What the hell?” Paul muttered, averting his gaze from his brother’s naked rear end.
Alex closed the fridge, killing the light. “Sorry. Where you been?” When the light over the stove came on, Alex was, thankfully, leaning against the counter.
“Outside.”
“In your underwear?”
“At least I’m wearing underwear.”
“I thought you were asleep.”
“It was a little too noisy around here to sleep.”
“Oh, um…” Alex flashed a big dopey grin. “Sorry again?”
“Hate to say I’m getting used to it, but…”
“We’re moving out next week.”
“Thank God,” Paul muttered.
“So you’re just walking around the backyard in your underwear?”
Paul debated for a second before he said, “Not exactly. I was over at Hope’s.”
“Again I say, in your underwear?”
“We… She and I…”
“Oh my God, Paul. Seriously? Since when?”
“I don’t know yet if it’s serious. It’s new.”
“You have to know I’d never begrudge you the chance to be happy, but if she quits, we’ll be screwed.”
“Why would she quit?”
“If it goes bad between you guys? Hello?”
“I’ve already told her that whatever happens between us will never affect her job.”
“Paul… Dad would flip out.”
“Dad’s not here! You said that yourself just the other day. Or is the gospel according to Dad selectively applied?”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. I’m just surprised by this news. I hadn’t noticed…”
“You’ve been a little preoccupied lately.”
“I don’t want you to think I don’t approve, because that’s not the case. I like Hope and Ethan. They’re great, and she’s incredible with Mom. I’m only concerned about somehow messing that up when we need her so badly.”
“I’m not going to mess it up. I won’t let that happen.” As he said the words, he hoped they were true.
“Good enough, then.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”
“If you were thinking I was going to be a dick about it, you’ll be disappointed. You know what you’re doing, and you know what’s at stake for everyone. What else do you want me to say?”
“Nothing, I guess.”
“I hope it works out. You deserve to be happy, Paul. I’d never stand in the way of that.”
“You’re right about one thing. Dad would flip out.”
“Like you said, Dad’s not here, and I can’t believe he’d feel any differently than I do, especially after all you’ve sacrificed for this family over the last few years.”
Alex’s kind words left a lump in Paul’s throat. “Thanks,” he said gruffly. “I’m going to take a couple of hours in the morning to go to Lisa’s funeral with Hope. Daisy is off tomorrow and coming to stay with Mom while Hope is gone.”
“And you guys are still heading for the mainland on Tuesday?”
“That’s the plan, but don’t worry, I’ll be back in plenty of time for the festivities on Saturday.”
“Great,” Alex said with a laugh. “Just remember—what goes around comes around. Someday it’ll be your turn, and revenge is a bitch.”
“I’ll take my chances. I’m covering my eyes to give you a chance to get out of here without leaving me with images that can’t be unseen.”
“I’m gone. See you in the morning.”
Paul kept his eyes covered until he heard Alex’s bedroom door close. Then he dropped his hands, shut off the light and headed for bed, hoping the progress he’d made with Hope tonight wouldn’t disappear in the morning.