Chapter 13 #3
They said their good-byes, ending at the table where Seamus and Carolina sat with Lisa’s boys. Hope ran her hands over their heads fondly and leaned down to kiss their cheeks. “Ethan and I would love to have you for a sleepover sometime soon,” Hope said. “Any time you’d like to come.”
“Thank you,” Kyle said for both of them. “That would be fun.”
“I’ll call Carolina to set it up.” She squatted so she’d be at their eye level. “I can only imagine how sad you must be feeling today, but I hope you know you have a lot of friends on this island.”
“Everyone has been so nice,” Kyle said.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Hope asked, kissing them both again.
“Okay,” Jackson said.
As they left the hotel, Paul noticed she was contending with tears. “That was sweet of you.”
“They’re great kids. I got to know them well when I was helping out with their mom. Ethan likes them, too. I’m glad to pitch in any way I can.”
They were quiet the rest of the way home and quickly absorbed into their usual routines when they got there.
Paul took off to get in half a day at work, while Hope sent Daisy on her way and took over with Marion.
Hope and Ethan weren’t at dinner, and he didn’t see her until nine o’clock that night when he took a beer out to the back porch and saw her coming out of the cabin.
“I was just coming to find you.” She came down the stairs from the cabin and crossed the yard, stopping just in front of where he was seated on the top step. “We’re still on the nine o’clock boat in the morning?”
“Yep. I talked to Joe earlier, and it’s all set.”
“Okay. I’ve got Ethan packed up to spend a few nights at your house with Jenny and Alex. It’s good of them to have him.”
“They don’t mind.” He looked up at her. “I called the place in Yarmouth. They only had one room available for the next two nights. I told them to hold it for us and I’d check with you about whether that’s okay.”
She crossed her arms into her favorite defensive pose. “It’s okay with me if it is with you.”
The words were strong and confident, but the waver in her voice gave away her true feelings.
Paul held out a hand to her. “Come sit for a minute.”
She took his hand and sat next to him on the step.
“We can go somewhere else if you’d be more comfortable with separate rooms.”
“I-I’m looking forward to the time alone with you,” she said. “It would be foolish to have separate rooms.”
“Before we go, there’s one thing we need to talk about.” Paul hated that he had to bring this up, but he had to know before he spent more time with her, before he fell deeper into whatever this was between them.
“What’s that?”
“What you said this morning to Jenny…”
“What did I say?” she asked, seeming genuinely baffled.
“About how you’d never get married again.”
“What about it?”
How to say this in a way that would make sense to both of them…
“I’m thirty-four years old, Hope. At some point, I’d like to be married and have a family.
I’ve done all the casual dating I want to do.
If there’s absolutely no hope of ever getting there with you, I’d prefer to know that now rather than when it’s too late to turn back. ”
“Oh.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Sort of.”
He wanted to ask her what that meant, but he waited, hoping she’d say more.
“After everything happened with Carl, I said I’d never get married again, and I meant it. I never wanted to be in such a vulnerable position again. Extricating my life from his was ugly and messy and costly. But that was then.”
“And now?” Paul held his breath in anticipation of her reply.
“I don’t know, Paul. I just don’t know. I wish I could tell you I’ve totally changed my mind, but I can’t say that for sure.”
“What happens if this thing between us gets serious and feelings are involved on both sides? What then?”
“I can’t speak for you, but I already have feelings for you. I want to see where they lead.”
He brought her hand to his lips. “I have feelings, too. But I’m not looking to get hurt any more than you are. Would you be willing to keep an open mind to all the many possibilities?”
“I suppose I could do that.”
“I don’t mean to put a ridiculous amount of pressure on you, but I just want to know going in that a future together isn’t outside the realm of possibility.”
“That’s fair enough.”
Paul dropped her hand and put his arm around her, bringing her in closer to him. “I’m really looking forward to the next few days.”
“So am I, but I feel guilty, too.”
“How come?”
“I’ve never spent a night away from Ethan, and I feel guilty for looking forward to it as much as I am.”
Her confession made him laugh. “He’ll be totally fine with Jenny and Alex.”
“I know, but still… What kind of mother looks forward to time away from her baby?”
“The best kind of mom. No need to feel guilty for taking a little time for yourself when you do so much for others.”
“If you say so.”
“I say so.” He kissed the top of her head and dropped his arm from around her shoulders. “I’m going to let you get to bed, and I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Sleep well.”
“I doubt I’ll sleep at all.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll be too busy thinking about two days alone with you.”
She surprised him for the second time that day when she turned toward him and kissed him.
Paul cupped her face and lost himself to the sweetness of her lips and the innocent seduction of her tongue. She had no idea what she did to him when she kissed him so tenderly. He wanted to devour her and had to remind himself that tonight was not the time for that.
Though it was the last thing he wanted to do, he backed off the kiss in slow increments. He leaned his forehead against hers while continuing to stroke her cheek with his thumb. “Is it tomorrow yet?”
She laughed softly. “I wish.”
“I’m going to get up and go inside before I give in to the urge to walk you home and tuck you in.”
“Would that be so bad?”
Paul groaned. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
Her fingers slid down his arm to grasp his hand. “I really want you to tuck me in.”
Paul looked at her for a long moment, giving her time to change her mind. “Let me make sure Alex will be here with Mom.”