Chapter 23 #2
She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. What else could be said? Though he talked to his brother and their friends, and though he laughed and participated in the party, his heart wasn’t in it. She knew him well enough by now to be able to tell that.
Every so often, his leg would brush against hers, and she’d have to fight the urge to lean into him, to let him soothe the ache that only grew worse the longer she sat next to him. There might’ve been a million miles standing between them rather than half an inch.
“Hope?” he said, drawing her out of her thoughts. “Luke was asking if you like living on Gansett.”
“Oh, sorry. Yes, I love it. My son does, too.”
“Alex and Paul are lucky to have you,” Luke said.
“It’s been a pleasure to help out,” Hope said, her throat closing. God, she was going to cry if she didn’t get out of there right away. “Excuse me.” She got up and left the deck, hearing Luke ask, “Was it something I said?” as she went.
Hope went into the hallway bathroom to splash cold water on her face, hoping it would help to calm emotions that were all over the place tonight.
Patting her face with a hand towel, she studied herself in the mirror and decided she must not be fooling anyone with her so-called party face.
Time to go home. At least there she could wallow in her misery without dragging anyone else down.
She opened the door to Paul standing in the hallway. He stepped into the bathroom and shut the door.
He overwhelmed the small space with his big frame. “Are you okay?”
“I-I…” She wanted to assure him she was fine, but she couldn’t look at that handsome face and lie to him.
“No,” she said softly. “I’m a mess.” Later she wouldn’t be able to say if she reached for him or he reached for her.
What did it matter when it felt so damned good to be in his arms again, to kiss him, to feel his arms around her, making her feel safe and cherished?
A knock on the bathroom door ended the moment.
They stared at each other, equally dazzled.
“Later,” he said. “We’ll talk later.” He opened the door and walked out, leaving her stunned by the force of her attraction to him as well as the endless need for more.
Hope followed him to the hallway, where Adam McCarthy studied his phone, a sly smile on his face. “Sorry,” she muttered.
“No worries.”
Thankfully, the party was beginning to break up, and Alex asked Paul if he’d give them a ride home. Since she’d had two glasses of wine, she took Paul up on his offer to leave her car there until tomorrow. He held the door to his truck for her and waited until she was settled before he closed it.
Alex and Jenny climbed into the back, whispering and giggling like the happy newlyweds they were. The sounds of sloppy kissing and more giggling seemed extra loud to her, or maybe it was the silence hanging between her and Paul that made it seem so loud.
“Guess what Erin told me tonight,” Jenny said.
“What’s that?” Alex asked.
“Slim, who came to her rescue when she sprained her ankle, has been coming by to visit and asked her out.”
“That’s cool,” Alex said.
“He’s a good guy,” Paul added.
“I’m glad you think so,” Jenny said. “She deserves only the best.”
“Drop us at our place,” Alex said when they drove into the driveway at home. “If you don’t mind staying with Mom.”
“I don’t mind.” Paul pulled up to the dark hulk of Alex and Jenny’s new house, and they fell out of the car, laughing as Alex scooped her up into his arms, whirled her around and carried her inside, calling over his shoulder, “Great time, bro. Thanks!”
Paul waited until they were safely inside before he backed out of their driveway and headed for home. When he killed the lights and shut off the engine, the darkness engulfed them. “Be with me tonight. No commitments, no promises. Just us taking what we both want.”
She should say no. More wouldn’t make the leaving any easier.
His hand found hers in the darkness. “Please.”
The desperation she heard in that single word had her saying, “Yes.”
“It’s dark. Wait for me.”
Her heart pounded and her chest tightened with the effort it took to draw air into her lungs.
She shouldn’t do this. She absolutely should not, but when he opened the door, took her hand and helped her out of the truck and then pressed her against it to kiss her senseless, she wasn’t thinking about why she shouldn’t.
No, she was thinking about all the reasons she absolutely should.
Then he scooped her up the way Alex had done to Jenny, leaving Hope breathless from wanting him. He put her down on the porch. “I can’t shock poor Mrs. Garfield by carrying you inside.” Leaning in so his lips brushed against her ear, he added, “But I want to. I really want to.”
Hope laughed at the salacious tone of his voice and let him guide her into the house, where Mrs. Garfield was on the sofa watching TV. As a retired nurse herself, she’d been a huge asset to the family.
“Hi there,” she said. “Did you have a good time?”
“It was great,” Paul said. “Alex and Jenny can now get married.” He winked at Hope and then walked Mrs. Garfield to the door, waiting until she was in her car before he shut off the outside lights.
Hope loved being “in the know” that Alex and Jenny were already married.
She loved being a part of everything that went on around here, even the difficult stuff with Marion.
And she loved Paul. That much had become painfully apparent since she called it off with him.
Sleeping with him tonight wasn’t going to make anything better.
In fact, it would probably make everything a whole lot worse.
But that certainly didn’t stop her from taking the hand he offered. It didn’t stop her from letting him lead her into his room.
“Give me one second to look in on Mom, and then I’m all yours.”
All yours. Hope fairly swooned at the thought of such an incredible man being all hers, even if it was only for tonight.
Alone in his room, it occurred to her that she could walk out of there and spare herself the agony that was sure to set in tomorrow.
But she couldn’t bring herself to take the first step that would lead to the safety of her own home.
He returned, leaving the door open so they could hear Marion if she got up. The night-light in the hallway made it possible for her to see the look of intent on his face as he approached her.
“You’re so beautiful tonight,” he whispered. “All the time, but tonight… You dazzled me.”
“I like that word.”
“It’s a good word. It sums up rather perfectly how I feel about you.
” He leaned in to kiss her neck, setting off a chain reaction that registered in all her most important places, most particularly in her chest, where her heart beat erratically.
“I couldn’t take my eyes off you tonight.
You might’ve been the only woman in the room. ”
“Paul,” she said on a sigh, utterly charmed by his sweet words.
“The last couple of days have been torture. You’re so close but so far away. I can’t stand it.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You didn’t. You’re being smart and practical and wise when I want you to throw caution to the wind.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I know,” he said with a sigh of his own. He found the zipper on the back of her dress and drew it down slowly, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin on her back as he went. The dress fell to her feet, leaving her in a strapless bra and skimpy panties.
Had she dressed hoping for this outcome to the evening? Not intentionally, but judging by the flare of desire in his eyes, he liked what he saw.
She began unbuttoning the dress shirt he’d worn with khaki shorts. The rest of their clothes fell away until they were both naked.