Chapter 14
Mallory watched him go, noting the way his jeans molded to his sexy ass.
She’d wanted a moment to herself after the earth-shattering orgasm.
She hadn’t experienced anything like that—with a guy, anyway—in years.
It was nice to know it was still possible.
The kind of craving desire she’d experienced with Quinn reminded her of being with Ryan.
It had been like that between them from the start, and she’d never had that kind of physical connection with another man, until now.
That was kind of scary to acknowledge. She’d only recently met him, had spent time alone with him exactly three times, and already she recognized feelings she’d had only once before. The idea of having what she’d had with Ryan and potentially losing it again made her entire body cold with fear.
She put her clothes back to rights, sat up and smoothed her hair with trembling hands. If there was one thing she knew for certain, it was that she couldn’t possibly survive that kind of disaster a second time. She’d barely survived the first time.
Being with Quinn was fun and exciting, but it was also risky, and she needed to keep her eye on the ball where he was concerned. Protecting herself and her damaged heart had to be paramount. Brutus had actually done her a favor by interrupting them before things went any further.
She needed to take a step back, to really think this through before she got any deeper into a relationship she hadn’t expected to have. The Summer of Mallory was about having fun, not getting serious, and this thing with Quinn, whatever you might call it, had serious written all over it.
By the time he and Brutus returned from the beach in the dinghy, Mallory had regained her composure and her determination to consciously control whatever happened next rather than going with the flow and being sucked unwittingly into his alluring web.
If she was going to end up in that web, she would do so intentionally, not because her hormones went spastic whenever he kissed her.
Brutus came bounding up to the cockpit well ahead of Quinn, who moved slower and more carefully as he went from the smaller boat to the bigger one.
Mallory put all her focus on the puppy, who licked her face with an exuberance that made her laugh. He was so damned cute.
“He’s salting on my game,” Quinn muttered.
“What does that mean?”
“He’s getting what I want.”
“Which is?”
“More of you.” Reaching for the hem of his T-shirt, he pulled it up and over his head, revealing a spectacular man chest, chiseled abdominal muscles and tattoos that banded around his biceps that she hadn’t noticed the first time she saw him shirtless the day they met.
Mallory went stupid in the head as she took in the perfection before her and quickly forgot her resolve to be deliberate and intentional where he was concerned.
Screw that.
Quinn saw the way she looked at him, and it had a predictable effect on him. Goddamned Brutus. If it wasn’t for him, Quinn might still have his hands and lips on her naked body. But maybe Brutus had done him a favor interrupting them before things got completely out of control.
He hadn’t been with a woman since he lost his leg, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to let someone see his stump, to make himself that vulnerable, even if Mallory would be the ideal person to be the first. She was a nurse.
She’d seen it all. Nothing about his injury would be new or particularly revolting to her.
Even knowing all that, he wasn’t sure he was ready to go there.
It was ironic, really, when you considered his sex-addicted past when the notion of being afraid to have sex would’ve been so foreign to him as to be laughable.
He used to get laid so much and so often that he’d forget who he’d slept with and who he hadn’t.
He certainly wasn’t proud of that chapter in his life, but he’d learned through a lot of therapy to own it as part of his history.
He’d put that version of himself so far in the past that he no longer bore any resemblance, except physically, of course, to that guy.
Mallory made him want to be the best version of himself, and he was determined to be that for her, which meant taking it slower than he ever had before with a woman.
He had many good reasons to take his time with her.
One, she wasn’t sure if she’d be staying after the summer, and he was committed to being here for at least the next couple of years.
Two, he hadn’t been intimate with anyone since he lost his leg.
And three, he refused to fall into old habits of letting his dick do the thinking for the rest of him.
So while his dick was very, very interested in the amazing, sexy Mallory Vaughn, the rest of him needed to take a pause and not let things get out of control the way they had earlier, until he was sure he was ready to take the next step—and that she was, too.
Underneath her enthusiastic response to him, he’d sensed her reticence, even if her actions had indicated interest.
They both had a lot on the line and carried deep scars they didn’t need to make worse with a summer fling gone wrong.
He’d taken his shirt off because he was hot, but now he recognized his error in the hungry way she studied his bare chest. Her hungry stare had his dick standing up to take notice of her.
Stand down, he ordered his wayward appendage, grimacing when said appendage told him to fuck off and surged to full mast. Naturally, she noticed that, too.
Sighing, Quinn sat next to her in the cockpit.
She drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, the protective pose not lost on him.
“Speak to me,” he said, nudging her with his shoulder.
After a long silence, she said, “That got kind of intense before.”
“Good word for it.”
“I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”
Quinn wanted to say it had felt like a pretty damned good idea to him, but he didn’t. “How come?” He had his reasons for taking a step back, but he wanted to hear hers.
“I’m in this really weird place right now with so many things up in the air, and getting serious with someone is the last thing I ought to be doing until I figure out the other stuff.”
“So let’s slow it down.”
“Define ‘slow it down.’”
“We hang out without tearing each other’s clothes off every chance we get. For now, anyway.”
Mallory laughed at his blunt statement. Her infectious laughter made him smile. With her face resting on her folded arms, she looked over at him. She could’ve passed for twenty-something in that position, and he found himself incredibly drawn to her. “And you’d be okay with that?”
“Sure, I would. I’d be okay with anything that gets me more time with you, even if it’s hands-off platonic time.”
“I feel like I’m being hot and cold with you, and that’s not my intention.”
“I know that.” He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. “So what do you want to do now?”
“Can we maybe sail some more? That’s really fun, especially when you help me stay on course.”
Quinn smiled at her. “Sure, we can do that.”
Quinn dropped her off at home around five o’clock, leaving her with a platonic kiss on the cheek and a promise to “hit her up” later.
The sailing had been spectacular, as had the company.
They’d settled into fun, flirty banter for the remainder of the afternoon, and Mallory had been relieved that they were on the same page with taking it slow.
She’d loved her first time on a sailboat.
Quinn had been a patient teacher as he showed her the secret to keeping the boat on an even keel.
If only it was as simple as a small correction here or there to keep the rest of her life on an even keel.
Mallory had been “heeling” hard since her mother died, with her orderly life tipped upside down by the discovery of her father and his family.
She’d only begun to right the ship when she lost her job and her footing once again.
Now that she was settled into her little cottage on the island for the summer, she could begin to make the subtle adjustments that would put things back where they belonged.
Here she was at nearly forty, trying to reinvent herself once again.
The last time she’d been forced to reinvent herself and her life, she’d been shattered by grief that she’d tried to numb with alcohol.
This time, she was facing reinvention stone-cold sober and eyes wide open to the many possibilities.
Those possibilities certainly included Quinn, but she would proceed with caution with him.
As she showered, she thought about how easy it would be to say to hell with caution and dive headfirst into what was sure to be a thrilling…
something… with him. An affair? A relationship?
A summer sex fest? Twenty years ago, she wouldn’t have had a second thought about jumping into whatever it turned out to be.
Now she knew the pain of heartbreaking loss all too well and was wise enough to protect herself from ever having to feel that pain again.
Mallory dried her hair and took note of the slight windburn that colored her cheeks and nose.
She dressed in jeans and a sweater and grabbed the brownies she’d baked earlier before heading out to Janey and Joe’s house for the welcome-home dinner for Evan and Grace.
She was also looking forward to spending more time with Grant, Stephanie, Dan and Kara, all of whom had spent the winter in Los Angeles, but were home now for the summer.
After just a couple of days here, it was already apparent that her personal life on Gansett was going to be much busier than life in Providence had ever been.
Every night, or so it seemed, there was something going on in her family and their group of friends.
That was fine with her. The more she got to see of her siblings, their families, her cousins, uncles and, of course, Big Mac and Linda, the happier she was.