Chapter 24 #2
“Let’s talk about that. You know that you wouldn’t have been with them all the time. Even if your mom had told you about your dad sooner, they’d still have stories and family things that you weren’t part of, right?”
“I suppose so.”
“You would’ve been with your mom most of the time. You would’ve still missed out on much of what went on with your siblings.”
“At least I would’ve known them,” she said, blinking back tears. “I would’ve liked to have known them. And the rest of you, too, especially my dad.”
“I know,” he said gently, “and what I think might be happening is in addition to grieving the loss of your mother, you’re grieving the loss of what you should’ve had with your dad and the rest of your family. Do you think that’s possible?”
“Probably.” She wiped away tears. “I tell myself that what I have now is enough. It’s more than I ever could’ve hoped for when I came looking for my dad.”
“And yet you’re still angry.”
Mallory laughed even as she wiped away new tears. “And yet I’m still angry.”
“You know what might help? If you wrote her a letter and told her everything you’re thinking and feeling about what she did. Maybe if you got it all out there and off your chest, you might be able to get past the anger.”
“That’s an interesting idea.” Especially in light of her habit of writing things down, Mallory thought.
“It might also help you to know that you’re not the only one who has had some anger with how this was handled.”
Surprised to hear that, Mallory said, “Who else?”
“Who was the other person who should’ve been told?”
Mallory stared at him for a long, charged moment. “Dad?”
Kevin nodded. “He would never, ever speak poorly of your mother, not to you or anyone. But I know he’s wrestled with why she didn’t tell him. It’s been hard on him, too.”
“He’s never said that to me.”
“He wouldn’t. He’d never burden you with something you had nothing to do with.”
“He wouldn’t be burdening me.”
“That’s how he would see it. He aches over what he missed with you, Mallory. Please don’t think for one second that he doesn’t. And I’m not speaking out of turn here. He’s spoken to me about this as his brother, not as his doctor, and I’m telling you this as my niece, not my patient.”
“I understand.” She wiped her face with the tissue he handed her. “Is it normal, after something like this happens, to feel disconnected from your life?”
“It’s normal, after losing your mother, finding your father and a family you didn’t know you had and then losing your longtime job—all in one year—to feel extremely disconnected.
Nothing about this new life resembles the old life, and it’s only natural that it’ll take some time for the new to seem normal to you. ”
“I’ve been offered a job here.”
“On the rescue? I heard. That’s wonderful.”
She shook her head. “That’s a summer job. There’s no budget for the off-season. The job I’ve been offered is director of nursing at the healthcare facility Jared and Lizzie James are opening this fall.”
“That’s amazing! Congratulations.”
“Thank you. It’s nice to feel wanted after the way I was unceremoniously dumped by my former employer.”
“Why do I sense there’s more to this than you’re letting on?”
“Because you’re good at this, and because there is.” Mallory sighed. “The offer came from the man I’m seeing, Dr. Quinn James, the facility’s medical director.”
“Ahhh, sticky.”
“Right.”
“Would he be your boss?”
“He says no, that we’d be colleagues and could set it up so I’d answer directly to his brother and sister-in-law.”
“That would seem to negate any potential conflict of interest issues.”
“It does.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“The relationship with him is new, and the worry becomes what happens at work if things go south between us. His brother owns the place. He’s not going anywhere.”
“Which is a reasonable concern.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“I can tell there’s more you’d like to say. Speak to me as my uncle and not a therapist.”
“As your uncle, I’d remind you that you’re a highly qualified professional with impeccable credentials who could probably land the job of your choice in any city in this country. If things go south with him personally, and it becomes untenable to work with him professionally, you leave.”
“You say that as if it’s simple.”
“It is. You’re still in that early career mind-set of having to hold on to a job at all costs because you might not be able to find another.
We both know the shortage of qualified nurses would make you a hot commodity anywhere you chose to go.
So go into the new job with the new man holding your own set of cards. Play them as you see fit.”
“You’re good at this. You might want to consider a career.”
Kevin’s ringing laugh made her smile. “If only I were as good at sorting my own crap as I am with other people’s.”
“Are things okay with Chelsea?”
“Things are great with her, other than everything being on hold until my divorce is final at the end of the summer.”
“What then?”
“We’re waiting to talk about it when I’m free and clear.”
“And that’s driving you nuts.”
“Little bit. She’s the one, you know? Took me more than fifty years to find her, and I worry all the time that I’m going to lose her.”
“I’ve seen you two together. She’s not going anywhere.”
“Still… I’ll be happy when we can make it official in some way or another. Stuff like this, what I have with her… When you live long enough, you know it doesn’t come along every day, which makes it that much more urgent. Does that make sense?”
“It does. I’ve experienced some of that myself in recent weeks.”
“With your doctor friend.”
She nodded.
“So it’s something special with him?”
“Could be. I’m taking baby steps.”
“If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to grab something that feels special and hold on with everything you’ve got.
I spent thirty years in a mediocre relationship that I don’t regret because I got my amazing sons from it and we had a good life.
But I can tell you there’s absolutely nothing like the real thing. ”
Mallory already knew that to be true and had begun to realize that her feelings for Quinn were similar to what she’d felt for Ryan. He hadn’t been gone so long that she’d forgotten the thrill of being truly in love. “Thank you for your wisdom,” she said as she got up to leave.
He stood to give her a hug. “I’m here for you as a therapist or an uncle or a friend, any time you need any of the above.”
“That means the world to me. You have no idea.”
“We’re all happy to have you as part of our family, Mallory, and I’m a big believer that things happen for a reason. Maybe if you’d known your dad as a child, you wouldn’t be here now, and you wouldn’t have met Quinn. It’s possible this was how it was always meant to be.”
“You’ve given me plenty to think about.”
“Then my work here is finished.”
“I’ll see you at Dan and Kara’s wedding?”
“Yes, you will.” He walked her to the door and opened it for her. “Be kind to yourself, sweetheart. You’ll figure out the path that works for you when the time is right.”
She gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Appreciate it.”
“My pleasure.”