Chapter 9 #2
“Hey.” Shannon cleared his throat and sat up, running his fingers through his hair. In the bright light of day, he experienced a pang of embarrassment over the emotional breakdown his friend had witnessed and helped him through. He’d even told Kevin the truth about how he’d hurt his hand.
Kevin handed him one of the coffees. “How’re you feeling?”
“Not bad considering how much Jameson was consumed last night, among other things that transpired. Thank you for the coffee—and everything else.”
“No problem at all.”
“Sure it was,” Shannon said with a small smile. “I kept you here until three o’clock in the morning.”
“I’m glad I was able to help you.”
“You did help. More than you know.”
“So what’s your plan for today?”
“I’m going to take a shower, get cleaned up and go find Victoria. At the very least, I owe her an explanation for the way I behaved yesterday and for why I haven’t been able to fully commit to her.”
“What’re you hoping to accomplish? Have you decided if you want to get back together with her?”
Shannon drank from the cup of coffee and took a moment to consider his reply. “You’ve helped me to see that I’m completely in love with her, even if I didn’t intend for that to happen when we first got together.”
“Love happens when you least expect it. I can certainly attest to that.” Kevin leaned forward, arms on knees.
“You need to give yourself permission to be happy again, Shannon. What happened to Fiona wasn’t your fault.
You couldn’t have done anything to prevent it.
Her death was a senseless, awful tragedy. ”
“I know, and you’re right. I have to stop blaming myself. Even if I had taken a dinner break that night, it might’ve been too late to stop what happened.”
“That’s right, or you could’ve ended up dead yourself.”
Shannon stood and folded the blanket Kevin had given him, leaving it on the sofa. He picked the coffee up off the table and extended his sore right hand to Kevin. “Thank you so much. I’ll never have the words to adequately thank you.”
Kevin carefully shook Shannon’s injured hand. “I’m glad I was in the right place at the right time. I’ll be hoping for good news about you and Victoria.”
“Me, too. I’ll call you for an appointment to start regular therapy.” Kevin had made the suggestion in the wee hours of the morning, and Shannon had agreed to continue what they’d started.
“I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
“Thanks again.” As he went down the stairs from Kevin’s office and walked to the Beachcomber to shower and change, Shannon’s stomach ached from more than just the whiskey he’d consumed last night.
He was afraid he’d blown it so badly with Vic yesterday that she wouldn’t be willing to talk to him today.
He had so much to say to her and could only hope she’d be willing to listen.
Shannon rushed through a shower and shave, and before he left the room, he retrieved the envelope containing Fiona’s pictures to take with him.
He set off for the clinic, hoping to catch Victoria between patients to ask if he could see her for a minute now or after work.
He’d thought about texting her, but had decided this situation called for a personal appearance.
Besides, he was suspended from work, so he certainly had the time to go all out to try to win her back.
He walked through the main doors at the clinic right after nine o’clock and encountered David Lawrence standing at the reception desk, speaking with Anna. David did a double take when he saw Shannon.
“David,” Shannon said haltingly, “I wondered if I could have a word with Victoria.”
“She’s not in today.”
His stomach fell at that news. “Oh. I guess I’ll try her at home, then.”
“She’s not there either.”
“Excuse me.” Anna got up and went through the double doors to the treatment area.
Shannon took a deep breath and forced himself to look the other man in the eye, well aware that he was staring down one of Victoria’s closest friends. “Do you know where she is?”
“I do.”
Shannon understood that he was going to have to go through David to get to her. “Are you going to tell me where she is?”
“Depends on why you want to know.”
“I want to make things right with her.”
“She’s very upset.”
“I know. I… I’m sorry to have upset her. All I want is the chance to explain things to her.”
“And then?”
“That’ll be up to her, I suppose.” He held David’s steely stare without blinking. “I love her. I want the chance to tell her so.”
David blew out a deep breath. “If I tell you what you want to know, you have to assure me that you won’t hurt her again.”
“It was never my intention to hurt her the first time. I… There are things, in my past, that I’ve never dealt with the way I should have. I’m taking steps to fix that now, and… I… I just want the chance to talk to her. That’s all.”
After a long charged moment, David said, “She’s at my place. I’m going to warn her you’re on your way. It’ll be up to her as to whether she’ll be there when you arrive.”
“I understand. Thank you for being such a good friend to her.”
“She is my good friend. I thought you were, too.”
“I was. I am.”
“Then don’t make me sorry I helped you.”
“I won’t. I want to try to make her happy. If she’ll let me.”
“I would say that’s a very big if.”
Shannon already suspected as much, but hearing David confirm it didn’t do much to reassure him.
“Thanks again for your help.” He turned to get the hell out of there before he lost the courage he’d built up with Kevin during the night.
Kevin had helped him see that confronting his demons was the only chance he had to fix his relationship with Victoria and to live an authentic, happy life.
Nothing could ever bring Fiona back, but to ruin his life too would only compound the tragedy.
The thought of losing Victoria forever made him panicky.
He’d lost Fiona through no fault of his own, and somehow he’d managed to survive that loss.
Just barely, but he had survived. If he lost Victoria, that would be completely his fault.
He wasn’t sure he’d survive that kind of loss a second time.
Straddling his bike, he fired it up and headed for David’s apartment on the James estate, determined to do whatever he could to fix the damage he’d done to his relationship with Victoria.