Chapter 8
The party broke up around ten with hugs and well-wishes for Janey and Joe. Kevin was one of the last to leave. He sat on the chaise and hugged his niece. “I’d say good luck, but you aren’t going to need it. We McCarthys are a hardy stock.”
“You make us sound like livestock,” she said with a grin.
Kevin barked out a laugh. “You’ve got this, sweetheart. My money is on you.”
“Thanks, Kev. Keep an eye on my dad, will you? He’s worked himself up into a full panic over the delivery. I’m worried he’ll have a heart attack or something before the baby arrives.”
“I’ll do what I can to keep him calm. Don’t worry about anyone else but you and that little one. We can’t wait to meet him or her.”
“Neither can I.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“I’ll keep in touch with your dad. Don’t worry.”
“Thanks, Kev.”
Big Mac and Linda were accompanying Joe, Janey and P.J.
to Providence tomorrow to help them get settled.
They were due to return to the island in a couple of days.
The island’s chief pilot, Slim Jackson, was on standby to fly Mac and Linda to the mainland if Janey went into labor early.
Otherwise, they were due to return to Providence two days before her due date so they could take care of P.J.
while his mom and dad were at the hospital.
Kevin hugged Joe, wished him the best and walked out with Mac and Linda, who’d stayed to help finish cleaning up.
“I can’t bear this,” Mac said when they were outside. “Maybe we should go with them for the whole time they’re gone.”
“We offered, and they said that wasn’t necessary,” Linda reminded her husband.
“Still, we could stay out of their way and help Joe with P.J. I’d feel so much better being there rather than sitting around here waiting to hear it’s go-time.”
“What about the marina?” Linda asked.
“Fuck the marina. Luke can handle it.”
Linda glanced at Kevin. “Can you help me out here?”
“You need to calm the hell down,” Kevin said. “Janey is worried about you.”
“She’s worried about me?”
“She just told me she’s afraid you’re going to have a heart attack or something equally dreadful.”
Mac’s shoulders drooped. “I don’t want her worrying about me.”
“Then you need to chill. I know this is so hard for you both. I can’t even imagine how terrifying it must be in light of what happened last time.
But they’re doing everything right, getting themselves to the mainland well ahead of her due date.
They’re going to be right where they need to be to ensure a smooth, safe delivery. ”
“Keep telling me that, will you?” Mac asked.
“Any time you need to hear it.” To Linda, he added, “That goes for you, too.”
She went up on tiptoes to hug and kiss him. “Thanks, Kev.”
“Love you guys. Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”
Mac hugged him. “Love you, too. Thank you.”
“Any time.”
He waved them off and got into the sleek BMW he’d had sent from home when he decided to stay on the island.
Funny how “home” used to be somewhere else entirely and now it was a tiny island in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by his big, boisterous family.
He loved it here. He loved listening to their problems and trying to help them the way he had his patients for so many years.
If only he had ready answers to his own problems.
He left Janey’s intending to head home, but found himself parked in the Beachcomber parking lot staring at the door and trying to decide whether he should go see her.
That debate was new. Two days ago, it wouldn’t have been a question.
He’d visited her almost every night she worked since they got together.
It pained him to realize that things between them had changed since she told him she wanted a baby. He didn’t want the changes to drive them apart, so he got out of the car and went into the bar, taking his usual seat and waiting for her to notice him.
She was talking to customers on the other side of the bar, and when she turned to find him there, her bright smile went a long way toward soothing the disquiet swirling inside him.
When she looked at him like that, he had no problems or worries.
And when she came over to lean across the bar to kiss him, he felt like the luckiest bastard who’d ever lived, especially when he saw other guys in the bar looking on in envy.
“How was the party at Janey’s?” She opened a beer for him and then reached for his hand.
He linked their fingers. “The usual McCarthy mayhem.”
“In other words, it was a blast.”
“As always.”
“How’s Janey?”
“Eager to get the baby out. Apparently, Joe is having a vasectomy while they’re on the mainland.”
Chelsea winced. “Ouch.” Then she gasped, and her eyes went wide.
“What?”
“We never actually talked about whether you’d had one.”
“A vasectomy? Nope. Deb had her tubes tied after Finn. I offered, but she said she wanted to be sure. Friends of ours had gotten pregnant after he had a vasectomy. Deb had rough pregnancies. ‘Two and done,’ she said.”
“Well, it’s good that you still can,” she said, giving him a shy smile. “If we decide to try.”
“I still can.” Even if the thought of another baby made him more anxious than anything had in a very long time. “I talked to Laura about babysitting for them, and she said any time we want, so I made a date for Sunday.”
She gave his hand a squeeze. “Thank you for arranging that.”
“No problem. How hard can it be to get three kids under the age of two ready for bed and settled for the night?”
“Umm, is that a rhetorical question?”
Kevin laughed and then released her hand so she could tend to other customers.
“You’re a lucky guy,” a man on the next barstool said.
“Excuse me?” Kevin said.
“She’s a beautiful woman,” the man said, nodding at Chelsea, a note of wistfulness in his tone that put Kevin on edge.
“Yes, she is.” Kevin took a subtle glance at the man, noting he was probably in his early- to mid-thirties. And, he admitted grudgingly, the guy was good-looking. He was the sort of guy Chelsea ought to be with, a thought that made his chest ache.
Was he holding her back by holding on to her? Ugh, now there was a cheery thought. Christ, when had the simplest thing in his life become so bloody complicated?
I want to have a baby. That was when. He took a deep drink of the beer he hadn’t planned to have.
What the hell was he going to do? One minute, he had himself convinced there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, including father and raise their child.
The next minute, he was balking at the thought of becoming a father again at his age.
The internal debate was driving him mad.
Kevin nursed the beer over the next two hours while Chelsea tended to customers, cleaned the bar and cashed out. The young man who’d admired her had left a while ago, wishing Kevin a good night, but he’d left him with a whole new set of questions.
When Chelsea was finished, they walked out together.
“Are you coming over?”
“Yeah, if that’s okay.”
“It’s okay,” she said, smiling.
He waited until she’d pulled out of the parking lot and then followed her home, parking behind her in the driveway.
Inside, Chelsea went directly to her bedroom, pulling her Beachcomber T-shirt over her head and dropping her khaki shorts on the floor.
“I need a shower.” In the doorway to the bathroom, she turned to him. “Join me?”
Kevin was momentarily struck dumb by her sweet, sexy smile and the plea he saw in her lovely eyes. She knew things were “off” between them, and she certainly knew why. But she was trying, and that meant the world to him.
He pulled the shirt over his head and kicked off his jeans.
Chelsea’s smile got even bigger before she disappeared into the bathroom to start the shower.
He stepped into the shower, wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her shoulder. He’d never thought shoulders could be sexy until he met her.
“Hi there,” she said, resting her hands on his arms.
“Hi yourself.”
“You okay?”
“I’m great. You?”
“I’m… anxious.”
He hated to hear that. “What about?”
“You know. I feel like I’ve made a big mess of things.”
“You haven’t. Not at all, sweetheart.”
“Do me a favor, Kev. Don’t lie to me to make me feel better.”
He turned her to face him, drawing her in tight against his erection. “I love you, Chels. That’s the one thing you can be sure of.”
“I know you do, and I love you, too. But we’ve both lived long enough to know that sometimes love isn’t enough.”
Settling her head on his chest, he swallowed the panic that seized him at the thought of losing her.
This was one of those moments when he’d give her anything she wanted if it meant he’d get to keep her in his life.
“There was a guy in the bar tonight. The one sitting next to me. He said I was a lucky guy to be with you.”
“That was nice of him.”
“I completely agree. I am lucky to be with you this way.”
“Why do I hear a ‘but’ coming?”
“I could tell he thought you were hot, which of course you are, and I thought for a second that he was the sort of guy you should be with—young and handsome with his best years ahead of him, not behind him.”
“Does it matter at all that I’m in the shower with the guy I want to be with?”
“Of course it does. That means everything to me. You know that.”
“Then stop trying to replace yourself and acting like you don’t bring anything to our relationship besides this.” She wrapped her hand around his cock and gave a gentle stroke that his head falling back as he groaned. “You are so much more to me than this, Kevin.”
He rested a hand on the wall of the shower because it was either that or fall over. “You could have anyone…”
“I don’t want anyone but you. I haven’t wanted anyone else since the first night we spent together.”
God, she was so sweet and sexy and perfect in every way. He dropped his hands to her ass and lifted her, pinning her against the wall.
She gasped when her back met the cool tile and released her grip on his cock. “Kevin…”
“What, honey?”
“Make love to me.”