Chapter 8 #3
“Because if he was happy, truly happy with your mom, he never would’ve noticed anyone else.
I’ve seen a lot of this very thing in my practice.
An affair is almost always the result of years of unhappiness.
That doesn’t make it right, but most decent people don’t just wake up one day and decide they want someone else.
It’s a long, slow process of disillusion and often loneliness that leads someone to look outside their marriage for fulfillment. ”
“You’re very smart about so many things. When you explain it, something that has never made sense to me makes all kinds of sense.”
Kevin snorted with laughter. “If I’m so smart, maybe you can tell me why my own wife was so unhappy she went elsewhere without me even noticing until it’d been going on for months.”
“Sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of us.”
“That’s very true.” He ran his hand up and down her arm in a soothing caress. “I want you to do something for me.”
“What?”
“I want you to repeat after me. It wasn’t my fault that my father left my mother for my best friend’s mom. Come on. Say it.”
Chelsea smiled. “It wasn’t my fault that my father left my mother for my best friend’s mom.”
“Do you need to say it again to truly believe it?”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“I’m sorry you went through such a difficult ordeal at such a young age. It had to be devastating.”
“It was,” she said softly. “Everyone knew. People looked at me everywhere I went. In school, at the grocery store, the local pizza place. It was mortifying.”
“I can only imagine. What about your friend? She must’ve been in the same boat.”
“She was, and it was worse for her. Her parents had already been divorced for years, so her mom was considered the homewrecker by people in town. She… That’s when she started cutting herself.
It went on for years until she finally found a good therapist who got her back on a positive track, but her life has been kind of a mess. ”
“And she’s your stepsister now, right?”
“Yeah, but we aren’t really close anymore. The drama kinda killed our friendship.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”
“So am I, but it taught me a lot about what I didn’t want in my own life.”
“Like what?”
“Drama. Relationships that are too much work. People who are disloyal, especially to the ones they love.”
“That’s a good list.”
“It’s worked for me and so has island life. The drama can’t find me here.”
“It does have that advantage.”
“I want you to know…” Her courage failed her before she could get the words out.
“What do you want me to know?”
“I never had the slightest urge to have children until I had someone in my life who made me feel safe to want more.”
“Chelsea…”
“It’s okay if you don’t want the same things I do, Kev. I just wanted you to know that your love gave me the courage to want things I thought were out of reach for me.”
“I’m so honored that you feel that way about me. I keep thinking I should step aside and let you go find someone closer to your own age who hasn’t already been a dad for almost thirty years.”
“I’m not looking to go off and have kids with just anyone, and I swear to you, if you decide it’s not in the cards for us, I’ll understand.”
He reached out to caress her face. “I heard everything you said, sweetheart, and I love you for being honest about how you’re feeling. It means a lot to me that our relationship has made you feel comfortable and confident enough to ask for what you want.”
“It has.”
“You want to talk about what it’s done for me?”
“I’d love to,” she said with a grin that made him smile, too.
“It’s made me believe in love again. It’s made me believe in myself again.”
“I can’t believe you ever didn’t believe in yourself. You’re too confident for that.”
“That might be how it seems, but when your wife of more than thirty years walks out the door for a younger man, it does lead to a crisis of confidence.”
“I hate that she made you feel that way. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. Well, except for your brother, of course.”
Kevin poked her, and she cracked up. Her “crush” on Big Mac was something they joked about often. “You know he’s going to want to hire you away from the Beachcomber to be the general manager of the new McCarthy’s Wayfarer, don’t you?”
“Seriously?”
“Of course. He loves you as much as you love him.”
“You say that so matter-of-factly, as if it wouldn’t be a BFD for me. Did he actually say he wants me for that job?”
“Not yet, but I have no doubt you’re on his radar. He’ll pour on that famous Big Mac charm to woo you away from the Beachcomber.”
“He could do it. That charm is formidable.”
Kevin moved quickly to pin her to the bed. Hovering above her, he scowled playfully. “All this talk about your affection for my brother is making me jealous.”
“Is this the same head doc who likes to say that jealousy is a wasted emotion?”
“The very same one. See what you’ve done to him?”
“What’ve I done to him?” she asked, her expression wistful and serious.
He leaned in to kiss her. “You’ve made him crazy and jealous and happy. So damned happy.”
She raised her arms to curl them around his neck. “You make me happy, too.”
“We’re going to figure this out, Chels. I promise you that.”
“You know you have no need to be jealous of anyone, right?”
“Yeah, baby. I know.” When he kissed her again, she opened her mouth to his tongue and lost herself to the desire that overwhelmed her any time he held her this way.
If this was all they ever had, it would be enough, or so she told herself.