Chapter 11 #2
Seeing Riley obviously enthralled with Nikki made Finn wonder about what might be around the next bend for him. As far as he knew, Riley had never been serious about any woman, but he was putting out vibes that had Finn wondering if Nikki might be the one for Riley.
Things were changing all around him, whether Finn wanted the changes or not. It was high time he made some changes of his own, beginning with ending things once and for all with his ex-girlfriend.
Shell-shocked. That was the word of the day for Mac McCarthy Junior.
Maddie was pregnant. Again. And, after their appointment at the clinic, he’d heard the news about Shane’s ex-wife, and shock had been compounded by more shock.
Both sets of grandparents had offered to stay with their kids so they could go to Janey’s, but after the appointment at the clinic, they’d decided to stay home.
After calling Shane to express his condolences and check on his cousin, Mac went through the motions of helping Thomas and Hailey get ready for bed, giving them baths and wrestling them into pajamas. They were in the mood to fool around, and he wasn’t, which made for a stressful hour.
“Daddy cranky,” Hailey said, taking him by the face and puckering her sweet lips into a frown that made him laugh.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” Thomas said.
“Maybe a little,” Mac conceded.
“How come?” His son studied him in the intent way that often made Mac want to squirm.
The child watched his every move, mimicking what he did and said—and how he did and said everything.
He’d never been more seen by any human being in his life than by the son who’d come into his life when the boy was nine months old.
“No reason, buddy. Nothing to worry about. Whose turn is it to pick a story?”
“Mine,” Hailey said as Thomas groaned.
“No princesses,” Thomas said.
“Yes, princesses,” Hailey said.
They compromised on one princess and one Star Wars story that left everyone happy. Mac tucked them into their beds and kissed them good night, leaving them with stern warnings about staying in bed. That had been their biggest challenge lately.
He went into the bedroom he shared with Maddie, who was breastfeeding Mac as tears rolled unchecked down her face. Her tears broke his heart. “Is he asleep?” he asked, leaning in for a closer look at the baby who everyone said looked just like him.
“I think so.”
Mac moved carefully to pick him up without waking him. Gazing down at the perfect, sweet face of his son, Mac couldn’t help but be thankful for their many blessings. No, they hadn’t been planning to have more kids, but they also hadn’t been as careful as they could’ve been since baby Mac was born.
As he settled the baby in his crib, he blamed himself.
He should’ve been more careful. Maddie had her hands full with three little ones, and the thought of a fourth was taking her right over the edge.
And how could he blame her? He worked all day—and in the summer, he worked two jobs.
She was the one home with the kids, so most of the work of child-rearing fell to her.
He’d hire a nanny or someone to help her, especially in the summer when he was also working at the marina.
And he’d cut back his hours wherever he could, give more responsibility to Luke, Shane, Riley and Finn.
The latter two had proven they were no longer the babies of the family and were capable of much more than he’d asked of them so far.
Returning to their bedroom, Mac found Maddie right where he’d left her, staring at the far wall with the tears continuing unabated.
“We can’t tell Adam or Abby about this,” she said.
His brother and sister-in-law had been grappling with fertility challenges. “We’ll have to tell them eventually.”
“I don’t want them to ever know.”
“Maddie,” he said, sighing as he sat next to her.
“It’s not fair. She wants a baby more than anything, and I can’t seem to stop having them. And if you laugh, I’ll stab you in your sleep.”
“I’m not laughing. I swear.”
“You’re getting a vasectomy,” she said. “This is it.”
“Okay.”
“I thought you said no one was cutting your junk ever.”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“That’s good, because I was prepared to do it myself with the kitchen scissors if I had to.”
Mac winced. “No need to get violent. I’ll do it.”
“Mac…”
“What, honey?”
“What the hell are we going to do with four little kids?”
“We’re going to love them and raise them and lose our minds for the next ten to fifteen years, but we’ll get through it. Together.”
“They’re all going to be teenagers.”
“I know that.”
“At the same time!”
“Just think, we’ll get it over with all at once.
” He paused, considering whether he should tell her about Courtney when she was already so raw, and decided talking about it might help to give them both some perspective.
“I want to tell you about a girl I used to know, who was married to Shane. Only he didn’t know she was an addict until it was way too late.
She was a sweet girl, pretty and funny, and he loved her so much. ”
“Courtney, right?” She hadn’t met Courtney because Shane’s marriage had been over before she and Mac got together.
Mac nodded. “Today we heard she died, possibly of an overdose.”
“Oh God, Mac…” She began to cry again. “Is Shane okay?”
“I talked to him a little while ago, and I checked with Laura, too. Katie is with him, and he’s coping as well as can be expected.”
“And here I am sobbing over another baby when you’d think I’d learned my lesson after we lost Connor. I said I would never overreact to being pregnant again after that. You see why I’m not liking myself very much lately?”
Mac leaned in to kiss her. “It’s a good thing I like you enough for both of us. I wanted to tell you about Courtney to remind us both that we need to count our blessings, all the time, even when we’re overwhelmed. As long as we have each other, there’s nothing we can’t handle, even four kids.”
“You make me believe that.”
“You can believe it. We’ll get some help, so you don’t have to do it all yourself during the day when I’m at work.”
“I hate to say I might need that.”