Chapter 15
“You can probably figure out for yourself that he forced his way into my room and, in a drunken frenzy, basically attacked me. My funny, charming boyfriend turned into someone I didn’t recognize, and I was so shocked and scared.
I had no idea how to fend him off.” She wiped away tears that infuriated her.
“The next couple of hours were a blur. I don’t remember much about it until my roommate came back later that morning to find me huddled on her bed and him passed out in mine.
“At first, she thought congratulations were in order, until she realized my face was bruised and swollen and put the pieces together. Her dad is a big lawyer in Chicago. She called him and asked what to do. He advised against contacting campus police. He said they’d be likely to bury it because Griffin was a basketball star.
Her father called the Chicago police. They showed up with paramedics for me and arrested him.
I didn’t understand the implications then, but I certainly know now what happens when law enforcement is brought in and how the ball starts to roll before you’re even aware of what’s happening. ”
Riley wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him, rubbing her back and offering comfort and support that meant the world to her.
“My friend’s father was a tiger on my behalf.
He went to bat with the cops. With him on the job and the evidence of a violent assault backing up his claims, they charged Griffin with first-degree sexual assault, felony battery, breaking and entering.
The press coverage was relentless. I couldn’t go back to school.
People were angry with me because he was in so much trouble. ”
“That’s unreal.”
“I would’ve thought so, too, if I hadn’t experienced it.
It was a nightmare. His parents hired an attorney who tried to make me sound like a total slut who’d been out to land the big man on campus.
My friends spoke out to say that wasn’t true, but they were no match for a big-name attorney who had the press hanging on every filthy lie he told about me.
My grandmother came and got me and brought me here.
I recovered physically, but emotionally, I was a disaster.
I just kept thinking that the only mistake I’d made was opening the door to him. ”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Nikki,” he said fiercely. “None of this was your fault.”
“I knew that intellectually, but I still questioned everything I’d said and done since I met him.
Had I given him some sort of indication that he could do that to me and get away with it?
Had I led him on? We’d been friends for two years before we started dating, and I’d never seen any sign of this in him. How could I have missed it?”
He covered her lips with his finger. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Nikki closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his, breathing in the rich, appealing scent of cologne and soap that would forever remind her of Riley.
“My Gram and I hunkered down here, and after a couple of months in my favorite place, I began to feel more like myself again. I started to think about going back to school—somewhere else—and starting over. The trial was more than a year away, and I knew I’d have to testify, but I tried not to think about that too much.
My grandmother had gotten me a therapist, and we met twice a week by Skype, and I’d been making real progress when… ”
“What, honey?” Riley sounded as tense as she felt.
“Griffin… He… He took his own life.”
“Oh my God. Oh no.”
“If I thought what’d happened before that was a nightmare…”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“People blamed me.”
“How could they blame you?”
“I don’t know, but they did. Just when I was starting to get back on my feet, this happened, and I was right back to day one. I grieved for him, even after what he did.”
“You grieved for the version of him that’d been your friend.”
“Yes, exactly.” His understanding made this so much more tolerable than it might’ve been otherwise.
“It didn’t make any sense to me in light of everything that’d happened, but my therapist helped me to see that grief is messy and often doesn't make sense. I grieved for the young man who’d made a terrible mistake and ruined his life in the process. ”
“You grieved because you’re a kind and loving person who understands that no one is all bad or all good. My dad always says that.”
“Your dad is very wise.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through such an awful thing, Nik.”
“Last night… When we were kissing…”
“You don’t have to say any more. I get it.”
“It had nothing to do with you.” She drew back so she could see his face. “It’s really important to me that you know that.”
“I understand.”
She swallowed hard and glanced up at him. “For the first time since everything happened, you make me want to take a real chance on things I thought I’d never want again.”
“For the first time ever, you make me want to take a real chance on something I’ve never wanted before.” He kissed her gently and then leaned his forehead against hers, the moment charged with possibility and promise.
Nikki waited expectantly, hoping he might kiss her again.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. How about we eat those lobster rolls and then spend the afternoon packing up your kitchen?”
“Sure,” she said, swallowing her disappointment. “That sounds good.”
They worked for hours in the kitchen, filling plastic bins she brought up from the basement with items she’d decided to keep and making piles of things she would donate to the thrift shop in town.
As they worked, they hashed out a variety of different layouts and scenarios for a reconfigured kitchen, which Riley drew up on a pad of lined notebook paper.
“It’s not to scale or anything,” he said, showing her his drawing. “But does that about capture it?” The drawing detailed her wish to remove the walls that separated the living and dining rooms from the kitchen, opening up the downstairs area into one big room.
“I love that! You never told me you were an artist.”
“I’m hardly an artist. Lots of drafting courses in college made me a fairly competent sketcher.”
“I think it’s really impressive.”
God, he wanted to kiss her and hold her and make love to her and…
Whoa, rein it in, man. Hearing what she’d been through with Griffin had touched him deeply and made him aware of how careful he needed to be with her going forward.
He’d never been in a situation remotely like this and honestly had no idea how to navigate his way through it.
His mind had been spinning ever since she told him the full story earlier, thinking about what had happened and how it must’ve affected her.
One step at a time, he told himself. The saying slow and steady wins the race also came to mind.
He focused on enjoying her company while keeping his hands to himself.
Riley took a call from Mac at four. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Just making sure you’re available to help out tonight. We’re meeting at the marina at eight to get organized. The state sent over sand trucks that’re out now.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Take a nap. Gonna be a long night from what the forecasters are saying.”
“Will do. See you at eight.”
Nikki went to the window to look out on the encroaching darkness. “It’s snowing!”
“That’s why Mac called. We’re plowing tonight. He wants me to take a nap.”
“If you need to go, I can finish this on my own. No problem. I really appreciate all your help.”
“I was going to make you dinner. I even went to the store.”
“You can make it for me tomorrow. Right now, you need to rest up.”
“If you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed your sofa for a couple of hours, I could nap here.”
“My sofa is your sofa.” She went to the window for a closer look at the thick gray clouds. “Snow is one of my favorite things. I didn’t see much of it growing up in Southern California.”
“If you had to spend long, dark nights plowing it, you wouldn’t love it so much.”
With her hands on his back, she steered him toward the sofa. “Lie down.”
“Only if you lie with me.”
“Can we watch a movie?”
“If you want to.” He stretched out on the sofa and held out his arm to her, snuggling her in close to him and hoping his body wouldn’t betray him and give away just how much he wanted her.
She pulled a blanket over them and settled in to watch a chick flick while he tried to slow his racing heart and mind enough to rest up for the long night ahead.
But with the soft silk of her hair brushing against his face, the heat of her abdomen singeing the palm of his hand, her scent filling his senses and her nearness making him hard as a rock, sleep proved elusive.
It was torture being this close to her and not being able to touch her the way he really wanted to. For the first time in his life, someone else’s needs took precedence over his own. His leg slid between hers, which did nothing to assuage the ache in his groin.
“You’re not sleeping,” she said, sounding amused.
“I am most definitely not sleeping.”
She giggled, and the sound of her laughter went straight to his overcommitted heart. “I’ll move to the other sofa.”
Riley tightened his hold on her. “Don’t go.”
“You need to sleep.”
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
“Don’t say that before you go out into a snowstorm.”
“I’m used to it. I’ve lost a lot of sleep to plowing this winter.”
They fell into a comfortable silence as she watched the movie, and he tried to think about anything other than the soft, warm, fragrant female who made him yearn for things he’d never wanted before.
The alarm on Riley’s phone woke them both at seven thirty. Nikki was surprised she’d slept when having him wrapped around her had put every cell in her body on full alert. Outside, the wind howled and snow pinged off the windows.
Groaning, he tightened his hold on her. “Don’t wanna.”
“You gotta.”
“Don’t wanna.”
She elbowed his belly playfully and then turned onto her back. “Time to get up.”
“Come with me.”
“Is that okay?”