Chapter 24
For two weeks after Riley got back from North Carolina, he did nothing but work—all day at the Wayfarer and every evening at Eastward Look.
On the second day after Adam and Abby brought home their new son, Riley stopped by after work to visit his new baby cousin, who was settling into his new home.
His parents were tired but elated, and their joy had only made Riley’s discontent more profound.
He kept the kitchen project moving forward in Nikki’s absence, hoping it would make her happy to return to an almost-renovated kitchen.
He was leaving some of everything for her to do, since she’d wanted to learn how to do it.
Some nights, Finn helped him, but most of the time, he worked by himself.
Having something to do every waking minute kept him from going crazy wondering when he might see her again.
They texted frequently and talked every day, but she never said anything about returning to the island, and he didn’t want to make things more difficult for her by asking questions.
So while she took care of Jordan in Los Angeles, Riley went slowly insane on Gansett Island.
He worked until he couldn’t stay awake another minute and then stumbled to the sofa most nights and crashed until the morning, when he would start the cycle over again.
He’d tried to sleep in Nikki’s bed one night, but the scent of her shampoo on the pillowcase and the memories of the nights they’d spent there together had been too much for him to handle.
What if she never came back? What if the time they’d already had was all they’d ever get? How would he survive having had her and then losing her? He wouldn’t. It was that simple. If she didn’t come home soon, he’d go to her.
Of course, those who knew him best were tuned in to the fact that he was a hot mess. They gave him as much space as they could, but Mac called him aside at the end of the second week.
“Your friend Nikki who you recommended for the manager’s job. What’s her story?”
“I… I’m not sure.”
“I’m ready to hire someone, and you recommended her, so I wanted to give her a shot. Is she coming back?”
“I don’t know that either.”
Mac gave him a knowing look. “Is this why you’ve been such a gluebag at work lately?”
Riley shrugged. What did his cousin want him to say? He wasn’t about to admit to being a heartbroken fool.
“It’s clear to everyone that your head’s not in the game. I can’t have that, Riley. That’s when people get hurt. Take the weekend and get it together. Come back Monday ready to focus.”
“I will,” Riley muttered. “Sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry.” Mac squeezed his shoulder. “I’ve been where you are when I was first with Maddie, and it totally blows.”
“Yeah, it does. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“Go after her, then. Do what you’ve got to do, Riley. No offense, but you’re not much good to me in your current condition.”
“I know. I really am sorry. I’ll get it together. After the wedding this weekend, I’ll figure out what I’m going to do.”
“Let me know what you decide, and ask her to get in touch with me if she’s still interested in the job.”
“I will. Thanks, Mac.”
“We’ll have some fun tonight. Blow off some steam. It’ll be good for everyone. The winters are way too long around here.”
“Definitely. I’ll see you later.”
“We’ll be there.”
The guys were taking over Mario’s to celebrate Kevin’s wedding, which was the next day.
“What was that about?” Finn asked when Riley rejoined him.
“Nothing.”
“Hopefully he was telling you to get your head out of your ass.”
“He didn’t use those exact words.”
Finn laughed. “But the message was the same. Check out this text I just got from Clint.” He held up his phone. “He sent it to you, too.”
You two are killing me. Would love to have you back, but since I haven’t heard from you, I’ve got to move on. Pulling the trigger on some new hires. Let me know if you ever get back this way.
“To translate—we’re now officially stuck here for the time being,” Finn said, his voice echoing in the cavernous building.
Being “stuck” on the island didn’t look as good to Riley as it would have a few short weeks ago. “We need to finish what we started here anyway. Then we can move on.”
Finn released a deep sigh. “Missy’s going to lose her shit when I tell her I’m here until May, possibly June.”
“Missy needs to move on the same way Clint did.”
“Try telling her that.”
“Maybe you should tell her exactly that.”
“Eh,” Finn said. “You know how I hate to burn a bridge.”
Rolling his eyes, Riley said, “That’s a bridge you should’ve blown up a long time ago.
” They parted company a short time later to go home and clean up for the party.
Since he’d been more or less living at Eastward Look while he worked on the renovations, he went there instead of the house he shared with Finn.
He felt closer to Nikki when he was at the house she loved so much.
On the way, he stopped to buy a six-pack of beer and a bag of ice for the cooler he’d brought to the house.
At the front door, he punched in the four-digit code Nikki had told him was her birthday—and Jordan’s.
In the foyer, he took off his dirty work boots and hung up his coat, yearning to see her coming down the stairs, dark hair piled on top of her head, wearing the yoga pants and T-shirt she called her “work clothes” and brimming with excitement to see him.
But the house was silent and empty, devoid of life without her there to make it a home.
He ached for her. Taking one of the beers to the sofa, he put his feet up on the coffee table and leaned his head back, exhausted in more ways than one. His phone vibrated with a new text from his uncle Frank, confirming the time of the party.
Riley replied to Frank and then opened a new text to Nikki, whom he hadn’t heard from since yesterday.
For a long time, he thought about what he could say that didn’t include I miss you, I love you, I need you, When are you coming back and Please tell me what’s going to become of us.
Since he couldn’t say any of that, he decided to go with something totally random.
What’s your position on dogs?
His heart gave a happy jolt when he saw that she was responding.
In general, or as pets?
As pets.
She sent thumbs-up, heart and dog emojis.
With or without cats?
Without.
Good answer. Cats freak me out. They know too much.
True. How was work?
Fine. Glad it’s Friday.
Is everyone excited about the wedding?
Yeah. Everyone except me, he wanted to say but didn’t. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel bad about how she’d left things with him.
What’s your position on the color yellow?
In general, or in particular?
As in a paint color for the kitchen…
That’ll look good.
Glad you agree.
His phone chimed with another text, this one stopping his heart.
What’s your position on kids?
He told himself to stay cool and not read too much into an innocuous text, but that was a huge challenge when he wanted to read everything into that innocuous text. In an attempt to keep from overreacting, he went with witty over serious. In general, or as pets?
As pets. Definitely. She added a laughing emoji.
No objections but would prefer they not outnumber the adults in the house.
Good call.
The ache, which had been a dull roar in the area of his breastbone, intensified with every text they exchanged, making him wonder if missing someone could bring on a heart attack.
His phone lit up with a new text. Have I told you twins run in my family? My dad is a twin and so are my mom’s cousins. Although identical twins don’t run in families. That’s a biological anomaly.
Are you warning me?
LOL, just providing full disclosure.
Because he couldn’t go another second without hearing her voice or seeing her sweet face, he switched over to FaceTime.
The room was dark enough that she wouldn’t know he was at her place.
He wanted to surprise her with the work he’d done to the kitchen in her absence.
He hoped she’d come back at some point and he’d get the chance to show her.
She popped up on his screen looking pretty and fresh and sexier than any woman had a right to be. Everything about her did it for him and had from the first time he’d ever seen her.
“Hey,” she said, smiling.
“Hey yourself. You look gorgeous.”
“No, I don’t. I’m all sweaty from yoga.”
He held back a groan as images of her bending into interesting positions assailed him, making him instantly hard for her. It was all he could do not to beg her to come home to him.
“You look tired. Are you okay?”
“I’ve been better. You’re way too far away.”
“I know,” she said, sighing. “Believe me, I feel the same way about you. Three thousand miles is way too far.”
“How’s it going?” he asked, because he couldn’t not ask. He had to know.
“She’s doing better every day. The broken arm is the biggest issue. Makes it hard for her to do the simplest things.”
“Glad she’s doing better.”
“She talked to a lawyer today about filing for divorce, which is the first time she’s actually used that word. Maybe now he really will be her ex-husband. Finally.”
“That’s a step in the right direction.”
“I’m cautiously optimistic.”
“How’re you holding up?”
“I’m okay, but I miss you. I wish I was there slamming my sledgehammer into walls, among other things.” That last part was said in a sexy, suggestive tone that added to his torment.
“You have no idea how much I miss you and wish you were here.” Filled with despair, he dropped his head into his hand.
Come back, he wanted to say. Please come back to me.
It took everything he had to hold in words that were burning to be said.
“So Mac told me today he’s ready to hire a manager for the Wayfarer.
He wants to know if you’re still interested. ”
“That would be a dream job. Could I let you know what’s going on in a couple of days?”
“Sure.” There was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn’t. Not now. “I suppose I ought to grab a shower and get ready for my dad’s party.”
“Oh, that’s tonight. I’m sure it’ll be great. He’ll appreciate the effort you and Finnbar put into it.”
Nothing is great without you. Everything sucks. Every fucking thing. Even hearing you call my brother Finnbar hurts. “Yeah.”
“Riley…”
He needed to go before he said something stupid or desperate. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow? Not sure when. Things will be chaotic with the wedding.”
“Text me when you can. I’m thinking of you. All the time.”
It helped to know she was thinking of him, but still he ached. “Same, babe. I’ll see you.”
“Bye.”
Nikki put down her phone and leaned against the wide kitchen island.
He looked awful, and that was entirely her fault.
She’d left him with no idea of when they might see each other again.
He’d been nothing but supportive and had never once made it about him, which she appreciated more than he’d ever know.
She’d never felt more torn between what she needed to do and what she wanted to do. And God, she wanted him with the kind of yearning she’d never imagined possible until she’d been forced to walk away from him to care for her injured sister.
Jordan came into the kitchen, stopping short at the sight of Nikki hunched over the island. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her skin golden from an afternoon at the pool. The bruises on her face had faded to a pale yellow, and her lip was slowly healing.
“Nothing. You need something?”
“A refill.” Using her broken arm to hold the insulated water bottle against her body, she used her other hand to unscrew the top.
A week ago, she couldn’t have managed that on her own.
Using the filtered-water dispenser on the door of the fridge, she refilled the bottle.
“You should go back to Gansett,” she said, as if that wasn’t the biggest thing she could say to her sister. “I can get by on my own.”
“No need for you to get by on your own,” Nikki said, forcing a smile.
Jordan leaned against the counter. “I know you’re here because you’re afraid I’ll go back to him, but that’s not going to happen.”
“That’s not why I’m here.”
“It is why you’re here, and I’m telling you, it’s not necessary. I’ve deleted him, blocked him, and my new lawyer is requesting a restraining order, so he can’t come anywhere near me.”
Nikki stared at her sister in mute shock. She’d never seen or heard Jordan so resolute about removing Zane from her life, even after the tape was released. Then, she’d just been flattened. Now, she was finally furious. Nikki wanted to sing hallelujah.
“I am never going back to him. I swear on my life. It’s over.”
For the first time, Nikki truly believed her.
“As much as I appreciate everything you’ve done, I can tell you’re dying to be somewhere else. You should go, Nik. I promise I’ll be okay without you.”
“The press…”
“I hired a publicist today to deal with the inquiries. I told her to put out the word that I’m not talking about Zane now or ever. They’ll go away when they realize they aren’t going to get anything from me.”
“Who are you, and what’ve you done with my sister?”
Jordan smiled. “Your clueless sister finally got a big, fat wakeup call in a hotel room in Charlotte. I’m only sorry it took me so long to figure out what you and everyone who loves me already knew.”
“We only want what’s best for you.”
“Believe it or not, I want that, too. It’ll take me a while to figure out what’s best for me, but I’m determined to move past this and to be rid of him. I also made an appointment with Yvonne.” Jordan referred to the therapist they’d seen during their parents’ contentious divorce.
“I’m really, really proud of you,” Nikki said softly.
“I don’t deserve that. Not yet anyway, but I hope at some point, I’ll deserve it.”
“You do deserve it.” Nikki went to her and hugged her, careful not to jar her injured arm. “I just want you to be safe and happy and loved.”
“I want that, too.” Jordan gave her a playful shove that ended the hug. “Go back to your boyfriend, Nik. You know you want to.”
She wanted that more than anything, and now that Jordan was telling her to go, she felt excited again for the first time in weeks. “His dad is getting remarried tomorrow.”
“If you get a flight out tonight, you can get there in time for the wedding. In fact, let me handle the arrangements for you for a change.”
“I can get my own plane ticket.”
“I want to do this for you. Please let me. You’re always there for me when I need you, even if that means putting your own life on hold. From what you’ve told me about Riley, you have a real chance of happiness with him. The last thing I want is to stand in the way of that.”
The thought of seeing Riley again—soon—filled her with the sort of joy she’d rarely experienced until she’d met him.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”
“I’m positive.”
“In that case, I’d be happy to let you send me back to Gansett.”