Chapter 5
Why had she said that? I’m really sorry you’re planning to leave.
What the hell was wrong with her? She didn’t do this stuff.
She didn’t gnash her teeth over how she’d left things with a guy for days and then spend extra time on her hair, makeup and clothes before she went to casually meet him for a tour of his family’s new business.
She also didn’t send mixed signals or play games when it came to men.
That was not how she rolled.
She didn’t get involved. Ever. Keeping her dealings with men at the surface level had worked perfectly her entire adult life. She wasn’t about to let one stupendously handsome, charming, sweet man upend her existence.
“Are you talking to yourself?” Katie Lawry’s amused voice interrupted Chloe’s musings as she waited on the sidewalk for her friend.
“Was I?” Talking to herself was another thing she didn’t do—not out loud anyway.
“Ah, yeah, but don’t worry, I think I was the only one who noticed.” Katie linked her arm through Chloe’s and escorted her into the South Harbor Diner. “What’s got you so wound up?”
Chloe slid into a booth across from Katie. “It’s not a what but rather who.”
“I’m officially intrigued.”
Rebecca, the owner of the diner, came by to say hello and dropped menus on their table. “I have minestrone and broccoli cheddar today. Be right back to take your order.”
Katie, who wore pink scrubs as her uniform at the clinic and had her blonde hair gathered into a messy bun, leaned in. “Speak.”
“Finn McCarthy.”
Katie’s eyes went wide, and her lips parted in soundless surprise.
Chloe wanted to shoot herself for being so stupid as to confess her crush to the woman who was about to marry his cousin. “Forget I said anything.”
“Like that’s going to happen. Tell me everything.”
“There’s not much to tell.”
“Tell me anyway.”
She told Katie about him coming in for a haircut, how he’d asked her out and she’d said no only to later run into him in the grocery store.
“We ended up having dinner together, but I was such a jerk to him that night.” Chloe cringed every time she thought about how that evening had ended.
“Today, I kept our appointment for him to show me the Wayfarer. I was nervous after the way we’d left things the other night.
But he was so cool and friendly and acted like nothing was weird, even though I made everything weird.
” She dropped her head into her hands. “And then he said he’s leaving soon to go back to the mainland, so what does it even matter? ”
When Katie had no response, Chloe looked up to find her friend staring at her. “What?”
“I’ve never seen you like this.”
“That’s because I don’t do this. I don’t do drama or angst over men. But I felt bad about being such an ass to him the other night when he was so nice, and then I saw him again, and he’s so damned sexy and sweet and… You’re still staring at me.”
“Sorry. It’s just that you’re the last person I’d ever expect to be so overwrought about a guy, even if he is a nice, sweet, very handsome McCarthy kind of guy.
” Katie leaned in closer. “I’m so glad we’ve become friends over this last year, but I recently said to Shane that sometimes I feel like I don’t really know you as well as I could—and I think that’s deliberate on your part. ”
Chloe had her reasons for keeping her relationships closer to the surface, but that had led to a lonely, isolated existence. Maybe it was time to let a few people in, starting with the woman who had been such a good friend to her.
“You’re not wrong about that.” She fiddled with her napkin, shredding it as she thought about how much she should say. “My childhood was a train wreck. I don’t like to dwell on it.”
“I know what you mean. Mine was, too.”
“It was? Really?” Katie seemed so together, and she was close to her brother Owen and her mother, Sarah, both of whom lived on the island.
“My dad is in prison for abusing my mom. He was finally convicted two years ago, but he was violent with us the whole time we were growing up.”
Flabbergasted, Chloe stared at her. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
Katie shrugged. “We kept it quiet when the trial was happening because it was right around the time Owen and Laura were getting married. We were so ready to move on. Like you, though, talking about that is the last thing I want to do when I’ve moved so far past it. Or at least I’ve tried to.”
“You never completely outrun it.”
“No, you don’t.”
When Rebecca returned to take their order, Chloe asked for a cup of the minestrone and a grilled cheese.
“That sounds good,” Katie said. “Make it a double.”
Chloe grinned at her. “Copycat.”
Katie laughed. “My siblings used to call me that. I always think I know what I want until someone else orders, and then I want what they’re having.”
“You were lucky to have siblings.”
“You have no idea. I never would’ve survived without them, especially Owen. He was the oldest and ran interference for the rest of us.”
“Wow. I never would’ve guessed that he’d been through that. He and Laura brought the kids in for haircuts a couple of weeks ago. He seems so lighthearted and happy.”
“He is now, but it was a long road to get there. Having my dad in jail helps. Thank God for Laura. He would tell you that she saved him in so many ways. You know she’s Shane’s sister, right?”
“I did know that. It’s too cute that you and your brother are marrying a brother and sister.”
“You’d be amazed how many people think it’s got to be illegal.”
Chloe laughed. “I love it.”
“Listen, you don’t have to tell me your shit if you don’t want to, but I want you to know that whatever it is, I probably understand.”
In all the years she’d lived on Gansett, Chloe had never told anyone on the island about the horror of her past.
Rebecca brought their soup and put it on the table along with crackers.
“Thank you,” Katie said for both of them.
Chloe took a sip of the tasty soup but had trouble getting it past the lump in her throat that appeared whenever she allowed the past to overtake the present.
Katie had been a good friend to her, and they’d had a lot of fun times together.
Hearing what she’d been through made it easier for Chloe to share her past. “My parents fought a lot when I was little. It escalated as I got older. They went from screaming to hitting to him leaving for a while before he worked his way back in. It went on and on like that until she told him she wanted a divorce and full custody of me.”
“What happened?”
“He came home with a gun.”
“Oh my God… Chloe…”
“I was upstairs, so I didn’t see it happen, but he shot her and then himself.”
Katie blinked rapidly to hold back tears as she set down her spoon. “God. How old were you?”
“Seven.”
“Chloe. I’m so sorry.”
Rebecca brought their sandwiches and put them on the table, quickly retreating when she realized she was interrupting something.
Katie dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. “What did you do?”
“I waited for a long time to see if someone would come, but no one did. Eventually, I snuck downstairs hoping to find that everything was fine when I knew it wasn’t.
” Chloe pushed the bowl of soup away, knowing she wouldn’t be able to eat.
Not now. “All I remember is there was a lot of blood. I ran out the back door and went to a neighbor, who called the police. I don’t remember much more about that day or the immediate aftermath.
I ended up in the foster system and landed with a nice family.
They were good people.” She shrugged. “I was one of the lucky ones.”
“I’m so sorry you went through such an awful thing.”
“You know what I’ve figured out?”
“What’s that?”
“Everyone has been through something awful. Some may be worse than others, but no one slides through life unscathed. Take you and what you went through. I’ve known you more than a year, and I never would’ve guessed you grew up in an abusive home.”
“My siblings and I have often said the victory is in surviving and thriving. That’s what we’ve tried to do. It’s our way of showing him that he didn’t win.”
“I love that.” Chloe met Katie’s gaze across the table. “I didn’t mean to bring down our lunch.”
“You didn’t. Not at all. I feel like we went from fun girlfriends to true friends in the last half hour.”
“I don’t mean to make it difficult to get to know me. I just tend to keep to myself. Old habits are hard to break.”
“I totally get it. I used to be a crazy introvert until I moved here, fell for Shane and got sucked into the magic of Gansett Island. Now I’m surrounded by people who genuinely care about me, and I’ve finally let my guard down.”
“I’m still working on that.”
“I understand that, too.”
“You won’t…”
Katie reached across the table and rested her hand on top of Chloe’s.
Chloe tried not to flinch from the fear of pain that didn’t materialize from Katie’s gentle touch.
“I won’t tell anyone, not even Shane.”
“It’s not that I’m ashamed or anything.”
“I know. But it’s not my story to tell. It’s yours.”
“It helps to talk to someone who gets it.”
Katie nudged the plate containing Chloe’s sandwich toward her. “This is a good time for comfort food.”
Smiling, Chloe took a bite of the delicious grilled cheese. There were other secrets that weighed heavily on her heart, but she’d said enough for now. Protecting herself had been her top priority for so long that it had become second nature. Lifetime habits didn’t change overnight.
“There’re a lot of people like you and me here,” Katie said after a long silence.
“Jenny Martinez’s fiancé was killed on 9/11, and he was Erin Barton’s twin brother.
Jenny’s sister-in-law Hope’s ex-husband is in jail for having sex with minors when he was a high school coach.
Stephanie McCarthy waged a fourteen-year battle to get her stepfather out of prison after he was falsely accused of abusing her. ”
“I know them all, and I had no idea.”
“It’s like you said, everyone is carrying something. I don’t want you to feel alone with your stuff. People around here care about you.”
“That’s nice to hear.”