Chapter 12
Drawn by the powerful pull he’d experienced from the beginning, he moved toward her, fully aware that crossing the threshold into her home would give this thing that had been simmering between them new meaning. It would change everything, perhaps forever.
He went anyway.
As he stood in front of her, neither of them seemed to breathe.
“I’ve never done anything even remotely like this.”
“Like what?”
“Showing up at someone’s house in the middle of the night because I can’t bear to stay away.”
“I’ve never done anything like this either.”
“Like what?” Emotion had reduced his voice to a gruff whisper.
“Like this.” She took a step to close the distance between them, and Finn stopped breathing when she flattened her hands on his chest and slid them up to curl around his neck.
Then she went up on tiptoes to press her lips to his, and he nearly passed out from the flood of adrenaline and desire that surged through him like a tsunami.
Want. Need. Desire. Yearning. It seemed like everything he could possibly feel came over him at the same instant, leaving him astounded and wanting more.
So much more. For the longest time, they stood in her doorway, arms wrapped around each other, tongues tangling in a desperate dance.
How could this be called kissing? The word was too simple to describe what the stroke of her tongue against his did to him.
And that she seemed to want him every bit as much as he wanted her…
Overwhelming.
The kiss became urgent as they each tried to get closer to each other.
Finn tightened his hold on her and lifted her to walk them the short distance to her sofa, where he lowered her and came down on top of her—without breaking the kiss.
She made a hungry, needy-sounding noise that traveled straight to his cock, which was so hard, it ached.
Christ have mercy.
The last thing he wanted to do was slow down, but he needed to be sure she wanted what he did, which was everything. He wanted every single thing he could have with her—and only her, which was an amazing realization for a guy who’d never wanted that with any woman before her.
“Chloe…”
She tightened her hold on his hair, and the slight pinch of pain only ramped up the desire that pounded through him like an extra heartbeat.
“Sweetheart, wait.”
She raised her hips, pressing the heat of her body against his straining erection. “Don’t want to wait.”
Finn’s brain went completely blank. Was she saying she wanted… Then he said something he had never before said when a woman was making it very clear that she wanted to get naked with him. “We should talk about this.”
“No, we really shouldn’t.”
“But…” He thought about what she’d said to him earlier, about not being able to get involved and the sense he’d gotten that she had been keeping something important from him, something that would keep her from doing exactly what they were now on the verge of doing.
“Finn.” She touched her finger to his lips. “Stop talking.”
He wanted what she wanted. He wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything, but he wasn’t looking for a one-night stand.
Not with her. She was already too important for one night to ever be enough.
So even though every part of him wanted to take her directive to shut up and press on, his better judgment screamed louder than all the other parts of him that were demanding instant gratification.
“Wait.” It pained him to draw back from her, to put the brakes on something that felt so damned good. But before this went any further, they were going to talk about it. He sat back, ran his fingers through his hair and tried to calm down.
She closed her eyes and sighed—deeply.
A long, charged silence lingered between them.
Ranger wandered out from the bedroom, took a look at Finn and then turned around and went back to bed, seeming satisfied that his mom was with a friend who provided steak.
“What’re we doing here, Chloe?”
“Do you need me to explain the birds and the bees to you, Finn?”
Under normal circumstances, he’d find the comment funny.
Under these circumstances, he was not amused.
“A couple of hours ago, you left my house after telling me you simply couldn’t do this.
And now you want to… Well, you’re sending me mixed messages, and I’m having a little trouble keeping up.
Despite how it might seem with the way I showed up here, I want to respect your wishes, but I also want to understand. I’m very confused.”
“I’m sorry to do that to you.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He reached for her hand, careful not to go near her swollen knuckles.
Tears flooded her eyes.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” Her tears gutted him. “Make me understand.”
“I’m not looking for a serious relationship.”
“So what was this going to be, then? A one-night stand?”
She sat up, withdrew her hand from his light grip, wrapped her arms around herself and diverted her gaze. “That’s all I’m capable of. I wish it could be more—”
“If you wish it could be more, why can’t it be more?”
“Other than the fact that you’re not going to live here anymore in a few days?”
“Other than that. If you give me a chance, if you give us a chance, I’ll stay.”
Chloe shook her head. “Don’t say what you think I want to hear.”
“I already told you I never say anything I don’t mean. If you’re willing to make a go of this, I would stay.”
She rested her head on the back of the sofa and gazed at him with the stunning eyes that had held him in her thrall from the beginning. “You can’t change your plans for me, Finn.”
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you really can’t.”
“Tell me why not.”
“I’m dealing with some things. It’s just…” Glancing down, she took a deep breath. “It’s not the right time for something like this. It’s not you, so please don’t think that. You’re amazing and wonderful, and if things were different…”
He wondered if she heard the way her voice wavered as she tried to let him down easy.
The landing had never hurt more. “I hear what you’re saying, and even though I don’t understand it, I’ll respect your wishes.
But I want you to know…” His throat closed, and for a terrifying second, he feared he would lose his composure.
“I want you to know that I’ve never felt for anyone else what I do for you.
And if you change your mind, call me, text me, come to me. I’ll always want to see you.”
Finn kissed her forehead and then forced himself to get up, to walk away from her when every fiber of his being was telling him to stay. But she’d made her wishes clear—more than once—and it was time to cut his losses as painful as that would be.
As he walked down the long, dark driveway that led to the road, he felt shredded.
He should’ve cut his own damned hair the way he had many times in the past. If only he’d done that, he wouldn’t now have to live with knowing she existed, so close and yet so far from him.
It’s not that he expected women to fall at his feet in gratitude for having gained his attention.
But these things weren’t usually all that complicated for him.
He liked women, women liked him. Everyone had fun. It was that simple.
So how had everything gotten so bloody complicated? Between Missy’s meltdown and Chloe’s rejection, Finn’s head was spinning.
He thought about calling Ned, but decided to walk home, mindful to keep an eye out for cars coming in either direction on the dark road.
As he walked, he relived every second with Chloe, trying to make sense of it.
But nothing added up. He knew she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her, so why wouldn’t she give him a chance?
It’s not you, so please don’t think that. You are amazing and wonderful, and if things were different…
If things were different. What things? He wanted to scream from the frustration and confusion.
Though it was late, and his brother was probably asleep, Finn called him anyway.
Riley answered on the first ring. “How’d it go?”
“The next time you get a big idea, keep it to yourself.”
“Oh damn. She wasn’t glad to see you?”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“I don’t know! I don’t fucking know! She’s as into me as I am with her, but she says the timing isn’t right, that she’s dealing with some stuff and it’s not me. I’m wonderful and amazing. What the fuck does that even mean, Ri?”
Finn heard a rustling sound and then Nikki came on the line. “Tell me exactly what she said.”
Finn went through the entire conversation, Chloe’s words permanently seared into his memory. He told her how Chloe had wanted to fool around—once—but that was all she’d wanted. When he stopped talking, he waited for Nikki to say something. “Nik?”
“I’m sorry, Finnbar. I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s great. Just great.”
“Do you want to come over? You shouldn’t be alone when you’re upset.”
“No, I don’t want to come over, but thanks for asking. Go to bed. I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.”
Finn ended the call feeling more dejected than he had before he called them. If Nikki, one of the wisest, coolest women he’d ever known, couldn’t explain this to him, who could?
Nikki handed Riley’s phone back to him. “We should go over there.”
“It’s almost midnight, and we all have to work in the morning.”
“He’s really upset.”
“He said he doesn’t want company.”
“Because he doesn’t want to inconvenience us. We can stay there tonight so he doesn’t have to be alone.”
Riley moaned. He’d been asleep when Finn called, and now he had Nikki imploring him with those eyes that could bring him to his knees. Riley sat up, rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair. “Let’s go.”
Ten minutes later, they left Eastward Look, which they had spent the winter renovating, and headed out on the dark winding road that led to town.
“Go that way,” Nikki said when they reached a three-way intersection.
“Why?”
“A hunch.”
Riley took the right-hand turn that would take them into town the long way, around the island’s north end.
Nikki sat up straight, her eyes peeled.
“What’re you looking for?”
“Your brother. Ned took him there, but how much you want to bet he’s walking home?”
“At this hour? He’ll get himself killed.”
“Not if we get there first. Hurry up.”
Riley pressed down on the gas and made quick time getting to the west side.
“That’s where Chloe lives.” Nikki pointed to a driveway. “Start looking for him and slow down so you aren’t the one to run him over.”
They went another mile before Nikki said, “There!”
Riley brought the truck to a stop next to his brother, who was dressed in dark clothes. He leaned forward so he could see around Nikki. “Do you have a death wish?”
“Nope.”
“Get in the truck, Finn.”
“I told you not to come.”
“This is all Nikki’s doing, so make it easy on us both and get in the truck.”
Finn got in and slammed the door.
Riley directed the truck toward town, pulling up to Finn’s house ten tense, quiet minutes later.
“You guys can go. I’m okay.”
Nikki got out of the truck. “We’re not leaving.”
Resigned to losing more sleep, Riley followed them inside.
Finn flopped on the sofa.
Nikki went into the kitchen, got a beer out of the fridge, opened it and brought it to Finn. Then she sat in front of him on the coffee table. “What can I do?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. It was a thing. It’s not going to happen. I’ll get over it.”
Riley thought about the merciless way Finn had busted his balls when he was first with Nikki, and how he’d wanted to punch him half the time.
Now he’d give anything to see his brother happy.
Funny how that worked. Even when Finn was driving him crazy, Riley wanted only the best for his lifelong best friend.
“Maybe I could talk to her,” Nikki said.
“Please don’t. That’s not going to help. But I appreciate the offer.”
“I hate to see you hurting.”
Finn’s face lifted into a small smile. “Thanks, Nicholas. But I’ll survive. In other news, Missy has been blowing up my phone like a crazy stalker since I told her we’re not getting back together.” Finn looked at his phone. “We’re up to two hundred texts and sixteen voicemail messages. So far.”
“Why don’t you block her?” Riley asked.
“I did. She’s using other people’s phones. I keep blocking the numbers and then a new one pops us.”
Nikki gasped. “Holy crap! Who does that?”
“People who can’t take no for an answer,” Riley said. “Do you think you need to get the cops involved?”
“God, no. No cops. She’ll give up when she realizes she’s not getting anywhere. She’s the least of my concerns.”
Having seen her in action in the past, Riley didn’t agree that Missy would give up on Finn without a fight, but he kept the thought to himself. For now anyway.
“You guys can go home. I’m really fine. I swear.”
Nikki patted Finn’s knee. “We can stay here tonight.”
“No need for that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Means a lot that you guys came looking for me.”
Nikki hugged him. “We’ll check on you in the morning.”
“Sounds good.”
Riley tried to think of something he could say to make Finn feel better. “I know it seems hopeless now, but don’t give up.”
“I am giving up. She’s made her feelings clear. I have no choice but to respect them.”
“I’m sorry it worked out this way.”
Finn shrugged, projecting indifference that Riley saw right through. “I’ll get over it.”
“Get some sleep.”
“Thanks again, you guys.”
As Riley ushered her out the door, Nikki said, “Call if you need us.”
“I will.”
Riley held the passenger door for her, and when she was settled, he leaned in to kiss her. “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Taking such good care of my brother.”
“I love him.”
Riley smiled, his heart full to overflowing with love for the incredible woman who would be his wife before much longer, not that she knew that. Not yet anyway. “And I love you.”
“I want this to work out for him so badly. I want him to be as happy as we are.”
“He’ll get there, babe. In his own time.”
“I wish he wasn’t leaving us.”
“I do, too. Maybe if he can convince Chloe to give him a chance, he’ll stick around.”
“Wouldn’t that be awesome? I’m overdue for a haircut…”
“Nikki, don’t get involved.”
“Who said I was getting involved?”
Riley eyed her shrewdly. “I know that mulish look of yours.”
“Are you calling your girlfriend a mule?”
“Don’t change the subject, and stay out of Finn’s business. I mean it.”
She smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes at him. “Yes, dear.”
Riley closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side, hoping she listened to him and stayed out of it.
But even as he had the thought, he knew she would do anything she could for Finn.
While he appreciated and enjoyed the friendship between her and his brother, he hoped she didn’t do anything to make things worse for Finn.
That would truly suck.